


Waves

by Boxxsaltz



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Drama, F/F, Polyamory, Romance, Self-Discovery, Slice of Life, Surfs Sand Sun and Sexy Ladies, sexual awakening
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:13:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 61,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27843535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boxxsaltz/pseuds/Boxxsaltz
Summary: In looking for an escape, Siyeon finds her way home instead.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Minji | JiU, Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Minji | JiU/Lee Siyeon, Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 111
Kudos: 372





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to a new journey. We take a break from the supernatural and fantasy to bring you a different sort of piece. I hope you enjoy this ride of self-exploration, discovery, awakening, and spice.

It’s when the plane lands that Siyeon starts to feel the guilt.   
  
Maybe it was due to the air pressure of being so high up, the extra fizz in the can of ginger ale she had on the flight that kept her stomach in check, or the earphones she had jammed in, listening to a playlist she’s heard a thousand times that had held it at bay. Now it’s overwhelmingly apparent, clenching in her gut like a sickness.   
  
_Be back in three months. Don’t worry about me.  
—Love, Siyeon _  
  
It was a lousy note. She knows. She should’ve (could’ve) said more. Maybe explained _some._ At least tell her parents where she was going but she didn’t. She didn’t want to. All she wanted was to get away and so she did.   
  
Her best friend that she’s cooked beside in the restaurant her parents own and run for the better half of her years once told her she has the very rare occasional spat of spontaneity. That she’d buy a yacht if she suddenly felt like it one day.   
  
Siyeon doesn’t know about a yacht and she knows that the flight she dropped money on and packed her bags in the dead of night so her parents wouldn’t find out wasn’t all that spontaneous either. It’s them she feels the guilt for. For leaving on such short notice, leaving them one reliable hand short in the kitchen. But there was no way she could’ve faced them and the thought of looking into her best friend’s eyes again after...after—  
  
Bodies shuffle once the go-ahead to move about the airplane cabin is given. Phones begin to ding as service returns and airplane mode is taken off. Siyeon keeps her phone tucked away in her pocket untouched. She knows messages are waiting for her. She’s not ready to face them yet.   
  
The exit is slow and Siyeon shifts her backpack on her shoulders as she makes her way through the airport. She finds her suitcase on the baggage claim and starts for the door out to catch a cab.   
  
The air in Jeju is humid. It’s a stickiness that doesn’t quite go away as she climbs into a cab and sits back, riddling off an address to the driver. The AC blows cool. Siyeon tries to relax but she can’t. It’s claustrophobic and the device in her back pocket looms over her like a threat. The guilt gnaws at her like a dog on a bone and she finally gives in.   
  
Flipping out of airplane mode, she watches as the screen fills with notifications. They’re mostly from her parents. First, messages of confusion followed by panic. It’s the concern for their health that she sends a text that she’s okay and will be off the mainland for a while. They’ll understand what she means without further explanation as she ignores the responses because she knows if she engages in too much conversation she’ll be tempted to go back.  
  
Another notification lingers that Siyeon just stares at. An unexpected one. The contact has a little stylized heart at the end of a pet name. The message preview shows the entire text and Siyeon tries not to think about how these are the first words they’ve spoken to her in days.   
  
It’s enough to make Siyeon want to reply. It’s enough to make her stomach curdle. It’s enough to raise panic in her chest that suddenly begins to heave and she swipes to delete the message.  
  
What use was getting away if she brought her demons with her?  
  
The screen goes black with the press of a button and Siyeon breathes.   
  
Three months.   
  
Maybe things will be better by then.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
She’s dropped at a modest beach house right off the coast. Other houses span across in intervals leaving ample space between. It’s been years since Siyeon has been. It belonged to her father's father who offered it to him after he saw how much Siyeon loved the place when she was younger.  
  
Throughout her teens, their visits became farther and fewer between until the place was left to collect  
more dust than memories. She hasn’t been back since she was twenty and the nostalgia she gets as she lets herself in is fortunately filled with feelings of happiness.   
  
It’s stuffy. Siyeon leaves her luggage by the door to open up the windows to help air out the musk. Sunlight fills up the spaces and Siyeon can’t help but feel it’s smaller than she remembers. Then again, she was smaller then and everything else was larger than life.   
  
The furniture is still the same: A little outdated. A sectional couch and a wicker chair with a cushion. A coffee table with old, faded pamphlets of eateries and attractions that may not still be around fan out on the coffee table. The kitchen is small and Siyeon is grateful their past selves cleared out the refrigerator before taking a five-year sabbatical. She’ll need to make a trip to the grocer to stock up for her stay.   
  
Leaving the kitchen, she pads up steps to the second landing that opens up to see down to the first. There are two rooms and a washroom. Siyeon peeks into the tiny room she used to sleep in, smiles to herself at the tacky, wolf printed comforter she made her parents buy from a street vendor, and takes to the master bedroom at the end of the hall.   
  
The queen-sized bed beckons her but she stops before she can drop face-first down onto it, saving her from a mouthful of dust and itching. She adds a trip to the laundromat to her list of things to do and just like that relaxation gets shoved further and further down her priorities   
  
Examining the rest of the house, Siyeon takes inventory of what else she’ll need to buy. Like toilet paper. She decides to make a list on her phone so she won’t forget anything, occasionally swiping up text notifications that drop banners at the top of her screen. It’s better to just turn them off. So she does.   
  
Her parents and her best friend are the main people she messaged anyway so she doesn’t worry about missing out on much else. The YouTube channels she’s subscribed to will give her enough dings to make her feel like she’s still important the way a text used to fill her with excitement.   
  
Right now she only feels dread.   
  
The magenta glow of dusk lights the house by the time Siyeon finishes her inspection. She looks out the large bedroom window and catches her reflection in the glass. She doesn’t look as pitiful as she feels. The makeup she managed to throw on before leaving is light and her bangs split over her forehead, black hair tickling just past her shoulders, stretching down to her collarbones. She looks good. She wishes she felt that way.   
  
Pulling her eyes away, she peers across the horizon. She could go out. There’s enough daylight left to reach the beach and take it in up close. But as soon as she makes it down the steps to retrieve her suitcase to find a change of clothes, tiredness washes over her.   
  
She foregoes a new outfit for pajamas and cleans up under the rain of warm water, washing away the grime and the tension left over from her flight. It’s just enough rejuvenation to put her toiletries into their proper places and properly store clothes away.   
  
The couch and a comforter welcome her like a friend, enveloping her into the plush cushions. Eyes closing, she lets out a breath, breathing in the scent of old times, letting it fan away guilt and worries with fonder memories until she’s whisked off to sleep.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Getting food takes precedence over laundry. Siyeon rounds out back to find the old pickup that sits beneath an awning covered by a tarp.  
  
Plastic crackles as she pulls it off revealing the navy, metal beast. It’s clean and empty. The bed brings back memories of hair blowing in the wind as she sat in the back, pretending like she was flying while her dad drove with trot playing on the speakers that her mom sang to and Siyeon would belt for those they passed by to hear.   
  
There are many more memories attached to the truck. Like floaties piled in and coolers and food packed for a day at the beach. A blanket spread out, nestled between her parents while they stared out at the ocean under the night sky sharing stories of a time before Siyeon was born and she was little. Faces of kids who were strangers Siyeon met during those days or weeks of vacation, lounging back and setting off sparklers to the backdrop of a bonfire.  
  
Keys she found exactly where she thought they’d be tucked in a kitchen drawer jingle as she lets herself in and starts up the engine. There’s enough gas to do her good for a few days and she takes off after making sure her wallet is with her.   
  
It’s late by the time Siyeon makes it back.   
  
Food and drink fill the fridge and she takes out a can of cola and pops it open. The colors on the horizon draw her to the window where she looks out to the ocean. The area where the beach houses are is closed to the public but just a ways down she can see the beach they often visited. People dot across the sand, some on towels soaking in the last few rays of the day while others splash in the shallows.   
  
Further out, surfers take to waves on their boards that cut in little slices of color against the water. Siyeon has never been one to surf. Her boogie board was enough but she finds the art fascinating.   
  
She’s out the door, trailing the road to the beach before she knows it, bucket hat on and hands tucked into the pockets of her wide-legged pants. She’s tired but something about the open air whisks it away and she breathes it in, enjoying the way the cool, salt air off the water chills the sweat that beads on the back of her neck.   
  
Kicking off her sandals, sand squishes between her toes as she walks closer to the water. A part of her wishes she put on her swimsuit. It’s been a long time since she’s been in the ocean and a good swim was always relaxing—the pressure of the water always comforting like a hug from nature both terrifying yet soothing.   
  
A voice through a bullhorn announcing that the beach will close soon draws Siyeon’s attention over to the lifeguard stand. The last time Siyeon was here, a boy with perfect pecs manned the post. There’s a woman now with long, vibrant purple hair kept up in a ponytail. Her white cut off shirt hangs loose on her shoulders with the notable red plus sign on the front. Red shorts shape around toned thighs and water shoes brandish each of her feet.   
  
A pair of sunglasses no longer needed for use hang on her collar along with a whistle. The bullhorn she used cradles in her lap once she repeated her announcement one more time and Siyeon can’t think of why anyone would disobey someone with such a sweet yet commanding voice. Or someone so attractive. It’s hard not to notice something like that. Not when a smile flashes Siyeon’s way when the lifeguard catches her staring.   
  
It’s a friendly smile. The kind someone throws at anybody. A pleasantry. Something about it makes Siyeon uncomfortable. It’s a little too perfect but that’s not it. It reminds her of another face. One that holds the same sort of sunshine.   
  
Siyeon groans and walks away before she can let her mind plunge. She wishes she could plunge into the depths, paddle out until she has to wade in the water, feel the fish no longer afraid of the two-legged creatures that invade their environment prod at her calves.   
  
Instead, she sits down, hopes sand won’t somehow find its way into her pants, and just stares. The sunset is pretty here, unobstructed by buildings or polluted by city lights. Siyeon likes that. She wonders why her parents didn’t decide to just move to the island the way they used to talk about it instead of opening their restaurant in the city. Siyeon always felt freer here. Like she wasn’t confined. Like she could stretch her arms and legs out to the fullest and not have to restrain the wolf inside of her that wanted to come out and play.   
  
The city is heavy. What she left there is heavy. Three months suddenly sounds too short when the whispers in her mind tempt her to never go back.   
  
“Excuse me.”  
  
Siyeon jumps, toppling herself over where she lands on her side in the sand, and quickly pushes herself upright. Her head swivels and her neck has to overextend backward to see past the rim of her bucket hat. “Huh?”  
  
Her eyes finally settle on the figure that hovers over her with a fist over a smiling mouth, a giggle cloaked by the crash of waves.   
  
“Are you okay?” It’s the lifeguard.   
  
On her feet, Siyeon notes how tall she is. How long her legs really run. It’s a pointless detail but there’s a mole on her lip and that’s where Siyeon gets stuck. On her lips. They’re pink and soft. Siyeon remembers running her thumb over ones of nearly the same shade. Right before everything fell apart.   
  
“Hello?”  
  
“I—” Siyeon pulls herself together and finds the girl’s eyes. She’s still smiling at her though it’s more of a smirk. Siyeon flushes. “I’m okay. I mean, I’m fine.”  
  
The lifeguard nods. “Alright, then. The beach is closing in ten minutes.”  
  
“Oh, right. Thank you.”  
  
She goes to pull away when she pauses, brow creasing. “I haven't seen you around here before.”  
  
The lifeguard takes Siyeon in fully. Doesn’t try to hide the fact that she is. It’s expected, she figures, when you’re presented with someone you’ve never seen before. It doesn’t really bother Siyeon but the lifeguard looks at her with such intensity it makes her squirm. She hopes the likes what she sees and that she isn’t judging her.  
  
“I’m not from around here. Not recently. I used to be.” What? “No, I wasn’t. I’ve never—” Siyeon shuts up with a sigh. It doesn’t help that the girl is doing that silent laugh again. She tries again. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m here on vacation.”  
  
“Oh!” She perks up. “First day?”  
  
“You can tell that?”  
  
The lifeguard shrugs. “I’ve never seen you here and the beach is usually the first place people come to when they land. Eager beavers, you know?”  
  
Siyeon doesn’t really know but, “yeah.”  
  
“Did you need help finding your way back to the hotel?” She must be used to having to help tourists. She seems very kind and accommodating. Very shiny.   
  
“Huh? Oh. No. I’m not that far.” Siyeon juts a thumb back over her shoulder from the direction she came.   
  
The girl follows the path, brow lifting when she catches on. “That’s what you mean by used to.” Because people who own beach houses are the type to make frequent visits. Not once in a lifetime ones.   
  
“It’s been a few years.”  
  
“Then, welcome back.” The lifeguard smiles a beaming smile. It’s a little different from the first one Siyeon got. More personable but still courteous. “I hope you enjoy your stay.”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
The girl hums in reply and steps away to tell a trio of teenagers who haven't quite made it all the way out of the water that they need to leave.   
  
Siyeon gets up and dusts the sand off her hands. When she walks she can tell she wasn’t lucky enough to avoid getting grains in her pants.   
  
She can’t wait to shower.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
The third day begins with a slight crick in the neck.   
  
Once upon a time, Siyeon enjoyed sleeping on the sectional, gazing at the stars through the windows that her dad would leave the curtains pulled back for her. Now it was a pain.   
  
Getting up, she freshens up in the bathroom and makes a cup of instant coffee. It’s the drink to cure all ailments. Even her crick is gone but that’s probably a placebo effect.   
  
The heap of bedding she left on the floor to deal with later tells her she already has plans despite how much she just wants to laze the day away. It’s been a long time since she’s had a day to just bum. It’s been never since she’s had so much leisure and alone time to herself.   
  
Siyeon loves her parents. She really does but she also loves not being around them twenty-four seven. At home and at work. Maybe when she was five and thought that running a place with her parents was the coolest thing under the sun she didn’t mind but now...now sometimes she just feels trapped.   
  
She isn’t five anymore. And she isn’t a teenager. She’s twenty-five with a life of her own buried under smiles and pleasantries and the need to please the people who raised her and grew up with. Her truth is hidden deep within herself. A head full of moments and desires she dare not breathe to anyone lest they wonder about the nature and future of her poor soul.   
  
Funny, Siyeon thinks. How all of that started here. On this very beach. Funny how it’s those things she took from this island and dropped into a place they probably never should’ve graced.   
  
But she didn’t know. She didn’t know it would turn out like this.   
  
She hates that.   
  
She hates that the sour mood sticks with her as she drives to the laundromat but then realizes she’s here by herself and can do whatever she wants. She’s not around anyone she knows here. She has no reason to hold it all in. It’s a scary thought. She doesn’t know what to do with it or herself all of a sudden.   
  
Well, first, it’s to stop feeling disgusted with herself.   
  
Clean bedding helps a little. The detergent makes the blankets smell like heaven and Siyeon buries her face in the comforter she spreads over the bed. They smell a little like home. A little like _her._  
  
Ugh. Stop. Stop, stop, stop.   
  
She kicks her feet and screams into the cushion. This is stupid. She needs to get out of the house.   
  
So she does.   
  
Siyeon spends the next couple of days, venturing out mainly to do errands, picking up things she forgot to bring, or think about getting when she was out before. She makes note of a few restaurants nearby and when the trash comes. Her escapades are short, however. She doesn’t have much energy for it and there are too many tourists in places she just wants to be alone.   
  
When she’s in, she flips on the flat screen mounted on the wall in the sitting room, thanks the gods her laptop that she brought along can connect to it to stream movies, and fills up her brain with mindless binge-watching until she falls asleep.   
  
It’s on the seventh day that she realizes she hasn’t gone back to the beach. There’s an itch in her to go today brought by the boredom that hits after finishing a season of a show and being too lazy to search up a new one that isn’t trash. And she’s restless. She’s had enough days to wallow and now she needs to move.   
  
A check on the weather tells her it’s not as hot out as it has been and that convinces her.   
  
Fishing out her swimsuit, Siyeon puts it on and pulls a pair of shorts and a tee over it. She tosses two bottles of water and snacks that won’t melt from the heat into a bag and jumps in the truck with a towel, skin already rubbed down with sunblock.   
  
She drives down to the beach this time and parks in the lot with cars—it’s easy to tell which are rentals.   
  
It smells like sunscreen and salt when she gets out. It’s the fragrance of escape. That’s exactly what she needs. For the first time since she arrived, Siyeon feels like she can finally start disconnecting from home.   
  
Sand gets in her sandals as she walks across. There are more people out today. Probably because there are hours before the beach will close. It’s a useless detail but the same lifeguard from before is on duty again. There’s a baseball cap on her head along with a pair of aviators hung on her nose.   
  
Siyeon finds a little section of beach that isn’t crawling with too many visitors and makes a place on the sand with a towel for a barrier.   
  
Pulling off her shirt, she folds it and sets it aside. Sunrays attack her skin as she lays back in a pair of sunglasses with neon green arms. The warmth is refreshing even against the humidity. At one end of the beach is a group of people holding surfboards in the shallows focused on an instructor who demonstrates the proper way to paddle.   
  
From this distance, the instructor looks tiny, the black and red rash guard she wears no help from further shrinking her appearance. Siyeon thinks her chestnut brown pigtail braids are cute but she can’t tell much more from this far away and her attention drags to the experienced surfers further out.   
  
Siyeon watches them take to waves, occasionally catching some while missing others. They don’t seem to mind the low success rate. They laugh with one another and keep at it just for the sake of fun.   
  
Soon Siyeon’s eyes drift shut and the chorus of the rushing sea makes her drowsy, the sun creating the perfect cocoon of warmth that calls her to sleep.   
  
“Hi.”  
  
Siyeon opens her eyes. She’s disoriented by the expanse of blue hung with wispy clouds before she remembers where she is. She's burning up and there’s a fog in her mind. Did she really fall asleep? If she did, how long?   
  
Sunlight blots out as something eclipses it. Siyeon brings up a hand to touch her forehead finding it sticky with sweat. The blur of a face catches her last and she squints at the image that’s darkened by her shades.  
  
“Hi?” Her mouth is cotton. Blindly reaching out, she finds a water bottle on the towel and cracks it open.   
  
The hovering person lets out a breath. “Good, you’re not dead.”  
  
“Dead?” Siyeon takes a few gulps. The water is lukewarm now but it helps to cool her off a little. Maybe she should pour it on herself.   
  
Aviators pull off. “You weren't moving for a long time.”  
  
Hydration gets the cogs in Siyeon’s brain churning again. The face is no longer a blur and she recognizes the lifeguard instantly. “Shouldn’t you be paying attention to the people _in_ the water?”  
  
“I’m a cover all bases kind of girl.”  
  
Siyeon swears she winks but she can’t be sure with the glare of the sun on her lenses.   
  
“Are you here alone?” asks the girl.   
  
Siyeon sits up. Her limbs are so heavy. She drinks more water hoping it’ll work like oil in a machine to loosen her up and get her head working properly. “You know that’s what a serial killer would ask a pretty girl before chopping them up in their basement, right?”  
  
“Or maybe it’s what a bored lifeguard would ask a pretty girl to pass the time.”  
  
“Oh. Yeah.” Siyeon scratches her head. There better not be sand in her hair. “That sounds less morbid.”  
  
The girl laughs, teeth flashing. It’s in that second that Siyeon rewinds and realizes that she called her pretty. She thanks the heat for not giving away the true reason for her blush. She feels so sluggish.   
  
“Well, are you?” asks the lifeguard. Unprompted, she sits down on the sand beside Siyeon, minding the towel. The way she asks the question makes Siyeon think it’s more due to genuine concern than anything else. How out of it did she look?   
  
Siyeon glances over the lifeguard’s shoulder, ready to make a comment about how she probably shouldn’t abandon her post but there’s a boy up there now with the bullhorn in his lap and a wide brim straw hat on his head. Siyeon figures it’s a switch in shifts or a break.   
  
“This time, yeah,” she answers.   
  
Less concern and more curiosity find its way into the lifeguard's tone. “And the other times?”  
  
“I usually come with my parents.” Siyeon pushes her shades up into her hair and squints. The sun is bright but she’s always thought it rude to talk to someone with them on. At least the water looks prettier without them. She looks out at it as she continues, “Sometimes my best friend would tag along but she doesn’t really like the beach. Too sticky, sandy, and wet.”  
  
“Those are the best parts.”  
  
Siyeon snorts. “That’s exactly what I expect a lifeguard to say.”  
  
“I try to stay on brand when wearing the uniform.” She chuckles to herself. It’s a nice sound. “I’m Minji, by the way.”  
  
“Siyeon.” She turns to her just as Minji pulls a plastic bag of orange slices from the little pouch that clips around her waist. It must be a snack break.   
  
“Real name?” A slice pops into Minji’s mouth, the juicy sounds audible. “Not what I expected from someone who alluded to me being a serial killer.”  
  
“The jury is still out on that.” Siyeon eyes her, teasingly. She tries not to pay attention to the way Minji chews, tongue darting out to catch a stray droplet and prods at the back of teeth for hairs. The bottom row she notes isn’t quite straight. It adds to the charm of her natural beauty. Siyeon thinks it’s in the genes of all lifeguards to be attractive.   
  
Minji laughs and eats another slice. “If you hear a chainsaw in the middle of the night, run.”  
  
“I’ll keep my running shoes by the door.”  
  
Silence ticks by. Usually, Siyeon would be put off by sharing such close encounters with strangers or her me-time being interrupted. Minji doesn’t make it uncomfortable, however. She’s just there. Like a seagull doing its thing that doesn’t command attention. Except Siyeon gives her the attention, albeit cloaked. She can’t help but keep glancing at Minji, examining the lines of her features to separate them from the carvings of the person she’d rather not think about. Not here.   
  
“So,” Minji says after a long stretch of nothing. Her neck turns and Siyeon tries to flit her eyes away before she’s caught in the act. The smug kink at the corner of Minji’s lips tells that she failed. “How long are you here for, Siyeon?” she says her name as she bites into her fourth slice.   
  
“A few months. The entire summer, I guess.” And it's only been a week.   
  
“Any plans?”  
  
She lifts her knees up and wraps her arms around them with a sigh. Normally she would’ve navigated out of the conversation by now but she finds comfort and newness talking to a person she doesn’t know. It’s not like they’ll remember her once she’s gone. And maybe she was craving a little human contact. Going from always being around someone between home and work to being alone all day is a little jarring   
  
“I hoped spontaneity would make those for me.”  
  
“Do you want to spontaneously come out with me tonight?”  
  
Siyeon’s eyebrows lift, taken aback by the sudden question. Minji must see her surprise and sense her confusion because she adds on,  
  
“There’s a bar not that far. It’s only been around for a couple years but it’s a favorite spot. Sometimes they have live music.” Minji shrugs and slurps at the juice in her mouth around the last few chews. Somehow it isn’t disgusting. Just natural. “I figured since you haven’t been here in a while, you might want at least _one_ place to go to that’s fun and not in the direct line of the sun.”  
  
It’s kind of her. Siyeon hasn’t thought about how the beach would eventually grow dull after a few weeks. Or even just days. When she came with her parents, they had everything planned out. Siyeon would go along with what they decided, occasionally picking out activities from pamphlets and websites her dad pulled up.   
  
She’s alone this time. Impromptu flights left little time to research ways to fill up her itinerary. What better way to learn about the hot spots on the island than through a local?  
  
“A tourist trap?” Siyeon asks.   
  
“Locals frequent more but the punnily named cocktails are definitely for the foreigners.”  
  
It’s not a deal-breaker. If she’s honest, she already knows what her answer is going to be. Anything beats moping around an empty beach house. It’s about time she let herself have a little fun. “Is there a patio?”  
  
“A whole terrace.” Minji points a finger as she says, “No tiki torches but there are fairy lights.”  
  
Siyeon’s nose scrunches in faux disgust. “No place can be perfect.”  
  
“Some things are.” Minji bites her lip. Her lids suddenly get heavy and Siyeon knows a pass when she hears one. At least she thinks so. She doesn’t have a lot of experience with women and flirting. But if _she_ was flirting, she’d do exactly what Minji is doing.   
  
Her stomach goes fizzy. This isn’t what she came to the island for. She came to get away from drama not potentially end up in another clash.   
  
But she’s getting ahead of herself.   
  
“Is that a yes?” Minji sounds hopeful.   
  
Siyeon doesn’t see why it shouldn’t be. “Sure.”  
  
“Great!” Minji beams. It’s so radiant Siyeon blinks. “I’ll write down the address for you. I’ll be there around ten o’clock in case you don’t want to walk into an entire bar full of faces you don’t know.”  
  
“I’m a big girl. I can hold my ground.”  
  
“Good to know.” Minji stands, sand raining off of her. Some sticks to the skin on the back of her thighs and Siyeon tells herself not to look at it or the line of sweat that rolls down her calf from where it built in the fold behind her knees. “See you later, Siyeon.”  
  
“See you later, Minji.”  
  
She echoes Minji’s wave and watches her jog back to the lifeguard stand where she trades out with the boy. She’s graceful as she climbs up and lands on her perch, aviators back on.   
  
As if she can feel Siyeon watching, she turns and waves again. Siyeon laughs, waves, and grabs her water bottle. The last of it washes down her throat. The heaviness in her limbs and fog in her brain has finally left but she’s still hot.   
  
Leaving her things on the shore, she takes to the waves.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
There’s no reason to fuss over an outfit but she does.   
  
She was better at this back home. When her best friend would be there, giggling and laughing and helping her pick out the right outfit so theirs matched. They liked doing that. Matching.   
  
Siyeon thought little about their differences because they always seemed to fit. Because they did, they hardly had fights. The ones they did have would blow over as quickly as they came. Neither liked being upset with the other for longer than necessary.   
  
It was a friendship for the ages. There was hardly anything Siyeon felt like she couldn’t tell her. They told each other almost everything. Until they didn’t.   
  
Siyeon turned twenty and she went on a vacation that changed her in a way she hadn’t expected but knew had always been right there beneath the surface. Waiting to be unlocked. To be let out. The wolf was waiting for the cage to open.   
  
That’s when things started to shift.   
  
Siyeon reaches into her pocket and pulls out the little square of notepad paper Minji gave to her before she left. Putting the address into the GPS on her phone, she checks how long it’ll take to get there. It’s far enough to drive but close enough to walk. Siyeon chooses the latter to keep from being too early and embraces the night air.   
  
She chose to keep her outfit simple. Destroyed jeans and a tucked-in printed white shirt. She’s not going to impress. The invite she figures is as Minji mentioned. A means for her to find places to go and things to do. It really is kind of her though Siyeon has a feeling it’s something she’s done before. People probably ask her for recommendations while they’re out on the beach often.   
  
A glowing sign at the end of a parking lot tells her she’s at the right place. The Flying Fish. The bar definitely didn't exist the last time she was here. Older buildings flank it making it look somewhat out of place but not jarringly so. There are enough cars out front to confirm Minji’s word that it’s a favorite spot. The amount of patrons inside further enforces it.  
  
It’s not packed but it’s full. It makes it easy for Siyeon to slip in with little attention diverted to her. The lights are warm and low. The smell of alcohol and food hangs in the air. Chatter plays just over music. There are a few dartboards on the wall and a pool table that a few people play rounds on.   
  
A crowd of people leaving brush past her and she weaves around them and tables to reach the bar. A seat opens up and she claims it, peering out to the crowd in search of Minji. She doesn’t see her.   
  
“What will it be?” someone yells behind her.   
  
Siyeon looks around to meet the eyes of a bartender staring up at her. She’s short with dark brown hair that falls down her shoulders and wispy bangs that play along her forehead. The black and gold bar branded baseball tee she wears shows off her midriff from where she’s tied the end up creating a taut stretch of skin between it and tight black pants. A towel hangs out the back pocket that she wipes her hands on.   
  
Something about her is vaguely familiar. Siyeon can’t pinpoint what it is.   
  
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” says the bartender, hand cupped behind an ear.   
  
It would be rude if she didn’t make it sound so playful. Siyeon stammers, eyes furiously reading the large panels of chalkboards that have their drink menu hung over the bar.   
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
The bartender shakes her head. “We’re fresh out of those.”  
  
“I’m—I mean, I’m not sure. I don’t usually do—” Siyeon waves a hand, gesturing to the various taps and bottles decorating the wall.  
  
It’s not that she doesn’t drink. It’s that she doesn’t really go out for it. Nights with her best friend were means of mindless fun, playing around on a dance floor ignoring all the advances of the guys in favor of spending the night together.   
  
Shots of soju under the tent of a street vendor afterward was their wind down instead of margaritas and cocktails and martinis. Then they’d go to Siyeon’s place and crash with regrets when they had to get up for work the next morning but a sense of it being worth it in the way it helped Siyeon blow off some of that pent-up energy inside of her.   
  
Nights like that, she was able to let the wolf out. Even if it was still on a leash. She got a taste and it was delicious. It was even better when they tasted it together, hidden in the dark, hands hot on naked skin.  
  
“Okay.” The bartender leans her elbows on the counter giving Siyeon a much too serious look. A hoop earring glitters where it sways back and forth in her ear through her hair. “What do you like? Sweet, sour, salty, biting?”  
  
“Sweet. No! Sour? I’m—”  
  
The bartender holds up a finger, cutting her off with the shake of the head. Siyeon shuts up and watches her walk away, grabbing various items and swirling them up. Something orange fills up a glass and settles onto the bar in front of her a few moments later.   
  
Siyeon eyes it. “What is that?”  
  
“Try it.” The bartender pushes it closer to her with a knuckle. There’s a wickedness in the way her mouth curves at the corners. The dark makeup around her eyes makes her look like a devil. She’s fiery. Alluring. “If you don’t like it, I’ll make you another. On the house.”  
  
Finding courage, Siyeon picks up the glass. She sips that smallest sip, lets it wash over her taste buds. They don’t protest at the drop so she takes another fuller drink. She can taste the alcohol but it’s faint. Various fruits overpower it along with a hint of...mint? She tastes again to see.   
  
“You like that, don’t you?” The bartender waggles her eyebrows. She has a devious but cute smile. It creates a dimple in her cheek.   
  
Siyeon smacks her lips. “Seven out of ten.”  
  
“Seven?” She gasps, hand pressed to her chest. “I’m nine and a half at worst.”  
  
“Have a little humility.” The stool beside Siyeon creaks as a body drops onto it. The purple hair gives them away before the stretch of a smile beams in her direction. It’s so pretty. Siyeon's stomach flutters. “Hi.”  
  
“Hi,” Siyeon echoes.  
  
Minji sucks in her bottom lip like the way she did on the beach, eyes taking Siyeon in with a full sweeping gaze. Her neck prickles.   
  
“Humility never got me anywhere,” says the bartender looking between them without missing a beat. “These talented babies did.” She wiggles her fingers in the air.   
  
Minji cracks a chuckle, releasing Siyeon from the burn of her stare to look at the shorter woman. There’s something about the exchange that makes Siyeon think there’s more meaning underneath the words said than she’s catching.   
  
“Can those talented babies make me the usual?” asks Minji. She sits incredibly straight on the stool. Siyeon finds herself trying to adjust her own posture. She fails. Hunching is far better.   
  
“Hold on a sec.” The bartender waves a dismissive hand at her. “I’m initiating the newbie.”  
  
Siyeon groans. “Do I have ‘Out of Towner’ tattooed on my head or something?”  
  
Minji’s frown is understanding. “Like I said, locals usually frequent here.”  
  
“And if you're not a local, you're an alien.”  
  
“I come in peace.” The Vulcan hand sign earns Siyeon a giggle from Minji and a snorting eye roll from the bartender. That eases some of her nervousness. She’s doing okay.   
  
“Want me to make you something else?” asks the bartender to Siyeon.   
  
“Uhh…”  
  
Minji sucks her teeth. “Don’t let her influence you.”  
  
“She asked for my opinion.”  
  
“Did she?” Minji lifts her eyebrows. Getting no answer, she turns to Siyeon. “Did you?”  
  
Siyeon decides to help the bartender who sneers back at Minji in defiance. “I’m lost when it comes to alcohol.”  
  
“So was this one,” says the bartender, jutting her chin to Minji. “If it wasn’t for me, she’d still be drinking virgin Shirly Temples.”  
  
“They’re good!”  
  
“Live a little, babe.”   
  
Minji sticks out her tongue. The bartender playfully snaps her teeth back before walking away, hips swaying in a way that's hard to miss in the jeans she’s wearing. A patron at the other end of the bar flags her down and she’s caught up taking other orders.   
  
“My parents were floor-length skirt conservative,” says Minji, drawing Siyeon’s eyes off the sway of a towel tucked into a back pocket. She’s caught again and this time Minji looks more intrigued than amused by her blatant ogling. “That’s Bora if you were wondering.”  
  
She wasn’t. Not really. The tips of her ears go red. “You two seem close.”  
  
Minji’s eyes wrinkle in a smile. “Yeah, we are. We met on this island. Very awkwardly.” A hand combs through her hair and her perfume wafts over to Siyeon, delicate and tasteful. “Waking up to the surfing instructor and her seven a.m. class on the beach after getting blackout drunk for the first time isn't the first impression I would’ve wanted but sometimes that’s what the cards deal for you.”  
  
Siyeon almost chokes on the gulp she’s taken. Surfing instructor. So that’s why Bora looks familiar.   
  
“Oh, wow.” Siyeon sits the glass down and fishes for one of the little, square napkins to clean up the dribble that managed to fall from her mouth.   
  
Minji winces. “I know.” A glass tilts at her lips. It takes Siyeon a second to realize it’s her drink being sampled. Minji licks her lips afterward with a pleased hum. “She’s right. Her drinks are really good.”  
  
Siyeon blinks at the light lipstick stain on the rim of the glass. She’s not sure how to process how casual or open this woman is. She seems so...free and relaxed. It’s refreshing in an intimidating sort of way. Women like that with faces like that are dangerous. Siyeon would know. She’s been ensnared by one before.   
  
Though that was danger she didn’t mind getting into.   
  
“How do you like it here?” asks Minji. She spins around on the stool, elbows leaned backward on the woodgrains of the bar, and converse hooked on the rungs. She’s in a crisp, button-down and denim shorts. There’s a pair of circle wireframes on her nose that are more aesthetic than use. They give her a comfortable chic look. The purple dye adds a hint of eccentric.   
  
Siyeon hums and looks around. She’s only been here for maybe thirty minutes. The spot is cozy. It still has the newness of only being open a few years but broken in enough that it’s not too sterile.   
  
As Minji said, there is live music. A duo plays an acoustic set with a guitar and cajón drum on a short platform on the far side of the bar. Posters and artworks decorate the walls along with neon signs, some with arrows directing patrons to the restrooms and up steps to the terrace on the roof.   
  
Through a pair of glass, double doors past the stage Siyeon can see a few people tossing a volleyball back and forth in a sandpit. A few chairs sit by it for people to lounge. Waitstaff wax and wane out the doors to bring drinks or baskets of bar food.   
  
“It’s cool.” Terrible response but the alcohol is making her high functioning intelligence whacky.   
  
“Do you want to see the terrace?”  
  
“I’d love to see the terrace.”  
  
They wait for Bora to finally bring Minji her usual and head out. Siyeon forgets about lipstick stains and sips at her drink as they ascend. She’s nervous for some reason. Maybe the alcohol will help.   
  
The night is warm but not too uncomfortable. The terrace stretches further out than the bar creating a sort of balcony where cushioned seats spread in intervals along the railing. Half is covered as a means to shield the few two-seater metal tables from the sun during the day. Fairy lights wrap around beams and well-placed plants decorate the spaces that would’ve otherwise looked bare.   
  
It has all the vibes of a typical bar but it’s not bad. People lean over the railing that looks across other rooftops toward the ocean a little too far to see clearly. Some take to the tables. Downwind in the far corner a duo puff on cigarettes and nurse amber bottles. The music from inside plays softly channeled through little speakers attached to a beam that holds up the awning.   
  
Siyeon paces over to the balcony edge, head tilted back to look at the sky. The stars are different here.   
  
“It’s not the most impressive but…”   
  
“No, I like it.” Siyeon offers a reassuring smile. “Really. Thank you for inviting me.”  
  
“Thank you for coming out.” A hand lifts. Fingers pinch at a stray black hair that the wind blew into Siyeon’s face and tucks it away.  
  
It’s only seconds that they’re looking at each other but Siyeon feels them like minutes. Something sparks at that moment and she shivers   
  
“Cold?” asks Minji.   
  
Siyeon shakes her head. She’s flushed all of a sudden. Hot.   
  
“This bar had just been built when I permanently moved here,” says Minji, keeping the conversation going.   
  
Siyeon leans on the rail. “When was that?”   
  
“Maybe four, almost five years ago. I’d been visiting every few months before that. I knew the big move would happen one day. The first time I came here was on a school trip and I fell in love.”  
  
“How?”  
  
“I always loved the water.” Minji shrugs and takes a drink. Whatever is in her glass is vibrant blue with an orange slice. “Obsessed even. I didn’t know exactly what it was about it that I liked until I got older and things like marine biology made sense to me. Me and a few other students were chosen for a trip to learn about marine life and what organizations were doing to help and how it was important to the environment.” Minji pauses and looks over when Siyeon yawns. “I’m boring you.”  
  
“No, no, no. It’s not you. It’s this.” She holds up her glass. It’s nearly all gone. “Whatever this is.” Minji raises her eyebrows. “I promise. You’re not boring me. Tell me more, mermaid.”  
  
Minji smiles with the flutter of a laugh. Condensation squishes beneath her fingers where they shift on her glass. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Positive.”  
  
“I knew then that I wanted to live here,” she finally continues. “When I was in university, I was chosen to be part of one of the programs at the marina. I traveled between here and the mainland until I was done with school. Then I moved. It wasn’t long until the program lost funding and I lost that job. So I trained to be a lifeguard until one of my old instructors called me about a spot at the marinelife center here. It’s a little far so I split my time between the beach and there.”  
  
It’s a happy story. A little crazy to Siyeon who has only known her parent's restaurant and the insides of the local PC Bang. She tries to imagine traveling like that, doing something she loves to do, being away from all that she’s known and what was comfortable to begin a new life.   
  
It’s a little daunting though her gut leaps in excitement at the thought.   
  
“Do you love it?” asks Siyeon.   
  
The way Minji’s eyes crease when she smiles gives the answer before she speaks it. “I do. Even more because my parents hate it.”  
  
Siyeon laughs with Minji but she tenses on the inside. She wonders how that is—defying your parents. Telling them no. Being something you know they wouldn’t like or want for you. If her best friend didn’t why would...  
  
“Sorry.” Minji runs a hand through her hair, an unexpected bashfulness crossing her soft features. “This is probably more information than you expected to hear from someone you just met.”  
  
“I did ask,” Siyeon reminds. “I don’t mind.” Minji still doesn’t look convinced. “I’m disconnected from everyone back home here. It’s nice to talk to someone instead of sitting in silence.”  
  
“If that’s the case, this mermaid has tales to tell for days.”  
  
A yawn steals Siyeon’s smile away. She covers it quickly but the damage has already been done.   
  
“Uh oh.”  
  
“I think the sun took most of my day's energy.” Even with the break between the beach and the bar and the nap she snagged, she never felt quite recovered from her snooze under the sun.   
  
Alcohol and late hours only add to the exhaustion that hangs in her muscles. Bed sounds really good but she’s not quite ready to say goodbye. She’s finally starting to enjoy her time here.   
  
“You’re not too far, right?” asks Minji. “I can walk you back.”  
  
She appreciates it but, “You don’t have to do that.”  
  
“Please,” she presses. “I even know a shortcut.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
“Change of plans, we’re driving.” Minji breaks out of the front of the bar with a set of keys in hand.   
  
Siyeon follows her across the lot from where she was waiting out front for Minji to come back from the restroom. She doesn’t mind a drive. She’s tired. In retrospect, it would’ve been wiser to bring the truck but now she’s glad that she accepted Minj’s offer to accompany her back home. That is until she sees the vehicle they’ll be taking.   
  
Minji hands her a helmet plucked from where it hangs on the side. “Safety first.”  
  
_“That’s_ safe?” Siyeon balks at the red, black, and silver bike that takes up one of the parking spaces.   
  
“As long as you hold on tight.” Minji winks. Siyeon shifts. “Unless you really don’t want to.”  
  
Oh, she wants to. Riding a motorcycle is something she’s always wanted to do. That doesn’t mean she isn’t nervous about it.   
  
Stepping closer, Siyeon gets a better look. It’s not very bulky. It’s sleek and pretty. It’s fit for someone smaller. Not like the heavy machinery she’s seen ripping down the street in the city. That curbs some of her sudden anxiety though it buds more from excitement than fear.   
  
“You didn’t say you drove a bike.”  
  
“It’s Bora’s. _Technically.”_  
  
That makes sense. It suits the she-devil. “You’d have to be a good driver then.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Minji’s hair tosses over her shoulders as she whips around after climbing onto the bike. She looks good on it. A natural.   
  
“She doesn’t seem like someone I’d like to piss off.” Siyeon slips the helmet on, voice going muffled. “Wrecking her bike might even constitute manslaughter.”  
  
Minji laughs, head thrown back to the sky. Straddling the bike with her neck stretched out like that makes Siyeon think of the models in those racy, motorcycle ads. She wonders what the vibration of Minji’s laugh feels like under her palm.   
  
The thought catches her off guard. She quickly tosses it away.   
  
“You’re probably right.” Minji sobers. “Are you going to get on?”  
  
Siyeon’s leg throws over the back and she loops her arms around Minji’s waist. She’s slender but the tone of her muscles is apparent. Siyeon tries not to rub up against the definition of her abs too much.   
  
“Ready?” Minji asks over her shoulder.   
  
Siyeon’s reply is drowned out by the roar of the engine and her breath is stolen when Minji pulls off. The first couple of seconds, her stomach is in her throat. Her everything shivers all the way down to her bones and she can’t hear anything other than engine and wind. There’s a primitive brain fear that she’s going to fall off that makes her hold onto Minji tighter, crushing herself against her back.   
  
A stoplight draws them to a halt where they idle and Minji shouts. “Are you okay back there?”  
  
Siyeon doesn’t trust her voice. She throws a quick thumbs up.   
  
“Tap me if you’re going to throw up.”  
  
And they’re off again.   
  
This time Siyeon knows what to expect from the sudden inertia. She doesn’t think she’s going to throw up but she can see why someone might. The weightlessness and the rush is thrilling. It gets Siyeon’s blood pumping. It’s different from riding a roller coaster but by the time Siyeon is really starting to enjoy the feeling, it’s over.   
  
Minji slows the bike, directing it up the graveled drive that leads around back and branches off with a slender walk to the front door. The engine switches off but Siyeon still feels the vibrations buzzing beneath her skin.   
  
“How was that?”  
  
The helmet pulls off her head. “I think I need a bike.”  
  
Minji laughs. “Bora would be happy to give you a lesson.”  
  
“Oh, no. I’m not ready to go off the deep end yet.” She hands the helmet back.   
  
Minji takes it, brow furrowing as she eyes the beach house then looks across the lots to the others.  
  
“I always wondered who this house belonged to,” she says, voice far away. “I have a friend in security who does the night patrols along the beach. This stretch of houses was always popular with those who liked to break in and live out whatever fantasy they copped from a coming of age Netflix film.”  
  
Siyeon’s thankful for the advanced alarm system that sends text alerts if there is ever any tampering. Still, someone breaking in while they were gone wasn’t something that crossed her mind. She’s glad that she did wash the bedding and wipe down surfaces along with a sweep before fully settling in.   
  
“It’s a nice spot,” says Siyeon.   
  
Minji hums a reply and slinks off the bike. Her strides lead her down the drive and across the patch of sand that stretches between the beach houses and the coastline. There’s not really a shore here. The water is too deep to safely step in. A concrete edge trails in two directions with signs posted of warnings and restrictions not to swim in the area.   
  
Siyeon soon trails after her, leaving the beach house in the near distance.   
  
“The water is really pretty here,” she hears Minji say.   
  
The crunch beneath Siyeon’s shoes quiets once she comes up on Minji’s side. The water _is_ pretty here. When the sun hits it just right, it glitters. The spot might not be good for swimming but the beauty of it made it a spot for sunbathing and grilling. Outdoor games and bonfires.   
  
Siyeon smacks her lips. Maybe she’ll buy meat tomorrow and pull out the grill that’s back beneath the awning by the truck.   
  
“I know it’s restricted here but I don’t think you’ll snitch.”   
  
Siyeon blinks. “Snitch?”  
  
A shirt slinks off shoulders and flutters to the ground.   
  
Wait.   
  
“Don’t worry about me,” Minji tells her over her shoulder. “You can go inside. You look like you could use rest.”  
  
Minji’s back turns. Her shorts drop leaving her in pretty, pink silk. Long legs take her to the edge and she jumps in.   
  
“Hey!” Siyeon kneels over the edge, staring into the water that ripples in the place Minji plunged.   
  
It’s long ticks of seconds before she resurfaces with a gasp. Hair whips back, sending a spray of water across the air. Siyeon’s insides unwind but her heart still hammers from the worry that something might’ve happened to this stranger.   
  
“What are you doing?”   
  
Minji looks nothing other than calm and collected where she treads water. “Were you worried?”  
  
“Maybe?”  
  
“I’m a lifeguard, remember?”  
  
Right. But _still._ This is wild. And unexpected. Siyeon’s still trying to get her brain to catch up to the pile of garments left on the ground.   
  
“Are you going to get in?”  
  
Siyeon wasn’t planning on it. She shouldn’t. Just moments ago she was ready to pass out. The adrenaline rush from Minji’s dive has turned her awake.   
  
She examines the water. She’s never been an amazing swimmer but she’s decent and Minji…  
  
Siyeon’s eyes draw over to the ones that wait on her expectantly. This day into night is already difficult to process enough. She doesn’t know how she went from not really wanting much to do with anybody to stripping down to her sports bra and boy shorts.   
  
She feels eyes on her, drinking in the moonlight glow of her skin. It makes her insides warm up. It’s been a while since someone has blatantly checked her out with a full reason to. She’s self-conscious under Minji’s gaze though the obvious interest she finds there dulls it a little.   
  
Siyeon braces for the onslaught of cold water as she jumps. Sound goes sideways and her nerves react to the sudden switch in temperature. Legs kicking out, she swims up to the surface.   
  
“You’re really daring,” says Minji.   
  
Siyeon spins herself around to Minji. She feels wilder than ever tonight. She wonders why.   
  
“I’m not as shy and innocent as I look.”  
  
Minji’s eyes narrow a fraction. “You’re wrong. You don’t look innocent.”  
  
Minji swims away. Siyeon follows. There’s a buoy out across the water and what starts off as a leisure swim turns into a race to reach it.   
  
Minji beats her by a few seconds. Siyeon grips the side, lungs burning as she pants. That tiredness she felt before comes barreling back making her muscles scream for her to stop and relax.   
  
“Get on it,” Minji tells her.   
  
Siyeon tries. She’s not agile or strong enough with the water making her heavier. Minji comes around to help her and she makes it on the edge. The buoy tilts and she quickly shuffles backward to redistribute the weight.   
  
“Got it?” Minji peers up at her from the water with cautious, attentive eyes. Siyeon’s lucky to have a lifeguard with her.   
  
“I think I’m good. I’m okay.”  
  
“We’ll rest for a minute.”  
  
Siyeon nods and leans back. The droplets on her skin cool in the breeze that makes her shiver. It’s quiet out here. Just the soft sloshing of water against the side of the buoy.   
  
“I haven't swam like that in years,” says Siyeon. She’s finally not so out of breath.   
  
“You kept up well.”  
  
Siyeon runs a hand through her hair in hopes that it makes the matted wetness look somewhat appealing. “I wanted to impress you.”  
  
“The sight of you is impressive enough.”  
  
It’s too blatant to be anything other than a pass. Siyeon blushes. “Oh. I…” she doesn't know what to say. She doesn’t know how that gets her speechless more than a half-naked woman she’s only known for one point five days.   
  
“Sorry.” Minji winces still treading. “Was I too forward?” She doesn’t look that sorry about it.   
  
“No. It’s…” How to phrase the jumbled mess in her brain or think past the way her stomach is still simmering from what Minji said?  
  
“Oh.” Minji’s brow wrinkles. “Are you not…” It’s her turn to look embarrassed. “I just thought—”  
  
“You thought right!” Siyeon blurts.   
  
“Oh. Then that’s good.”  
  
All of Siyeon heats up when Minji’s grin returns. This time it’s not as veiled as the others. This time her lip bite means more than it has before. Siyeon covers her face with her hands and groans.   
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
“I came here to get away from stress.” She peeks through her fingers. Minji is enjoying this all too much. “But, wow, you’re not good for my health either.”  
  
Minji laughs a little but sobers quickly. “What do you mean? Get away?” The subject shifts. Siyeon’s grateful though the topic isn’t any easier.   
  
The buoy sways as Minji pulls herself onto it, far enough away to keep it from tilting too much but close enough that there’s not a chasm of distance for her voice to travel.   
  
“It’s nothing. Just...needed a vacation.”  
  
“Three months is a long vacation to do alone.”  
  
She’s right. “Pathetic, right?”  
  
“Not if what you’re getting away from is that bad.”  
  
Siyeon pulls a face. “It wasn’t that bad. I think I just...panicked.”  
  
Minji hums with no further questions. It’s done so she can decide whether to continue or leave it be. Leaving it be is what she wants to do but there is part of her that’s overwhelmed with holding it all for so long. For weeks she’s spoken about it to no one. She couldn’t. And the one person she would open up to is involved. Just thinking about it makes Siyeon’s head hurt. Makes her chest hurt.   
  
“Me and my best friend had a fight,” she finally says.   
  
“The one who used to come here with you?”  
  
Siyeon nods impressed that Minji remembers that detail. “She was going to leave. So, I left.”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
Siyeon tenses. So much happened. A stack of moments that all funneled into one final breaking point. It’s her fault. It’s all her fault. She never should’ve pushed. She never should’ve assumed. She never should’ve put her hands on her like that.  
  
“Oh, right,” Minji’s voice pierces through the storm of anguish raging in Siyeon’s mind. “I forgot. You barely even know my name and here I am asking you to bear your soul.”  
  
She isn’t wrong. “You’ve already gotten me to bear my finest assets.”  
  
“They’re better than fine.”  
  
The heat returns. It’s dangerous when they're talking about something like this though Minji doesn’t know that. It stirs up two different sorts of feelings for Siyeon. Especially when the darkness shrouds parts of Minji’s features that allow those of another person to easily fill up the missing spaces.   
  
“You remind me of her,” she says before she can stop herself.   
  
Minji’s face scrunches. “Does this mean I’ve been best friend-zoned?”  
  
Siyeon laughs. Really laughs. It feels good. So does the stroke of a finger against the back of her hand. She glances down to where Minji’s finger brushes back and forth over her knuckles. She didn’t even notice when she started doing it.   
  
“It’s that you’re both giants. Sometimes when you smile…” Siyeon shakes her head. This is weird. “You’re nothing like her.” She doesn't even know Minji.   
  
Almost like her best friend didn’t fully know her. That wasn’t fair. Siyeon didn’t fully know herself. She still doesn’t. She’s kept so much locked up tight that she doesn’t know where the true her begins and the her that everyone wants and thinks ends.   
  
“You love her, don’t you?”  
  
It’s such an intimate question for strangers.   
  
“I…” Siyeon chews on her tongue. She knows what Minji is asking. “She’s been my best friend since I was twelve. That’s it.”  
  
“That’s it?”  
  
“We’re...we’re too different for anything like _that.”_ She shrugs. “I’m not someone she wants to be with. Not with the things I did to her. What I wanted to do…” her voice trails off. Memories rush back like a film reel and Siyeon whimpers.   
  
Minji’s fingers fan over the back of her hand. It’s comforting. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it.”  
  
“Thanks.” She really means that.   
  
“Do you want to go back?”  
  
They take the swim back at a slower pace. Minji stays close behind just in case Siyeon’s tired muscles can’t make the trek. They almost don’t.   
  
Pulling herself onto the edge, Siyeon drags herself up and flops onto her back. “I think I’m finally down for the count.”  
  
Minji sits beside her, legs dangling over the edge. She looks to the stars as if they can tell her the time. “Bora’s going to end her shift soon.”  
  
Siyeon almost forgot about the bike. She wonders how late it is. The bar feels like eons ago.   
  
Steady eyes turn down to her. Minji chews on her lip. It’s an endearing little gesture. “This might not be the right time to say this, but I’d like to hang out with you again.”  
  
Tingles run across Siyeon’s skin. She licks her lips, tasting the salt of the sea off of them. It’s strange but she feels the same way.   
  
“Me, too.”  
  
“There is one more thing I’d like to do.”  
  
Siyeon waits for it and lips touch her cheek in a gentle kiss before she can process the body that’s leaning slightly against hers.   
  
Minji’s eyes are like galaxies where they hover right above hers, the moonlight framing around her in a celestial glow. “Was that too, too forward?”  
  
Siyeon shakes her head. “No.” Oddly enough, it really isn’t. Maybe she’s too tired to think of how these things should properly go. Maybe it’s that Minji makes everything feel so carefree and magnetic.   
  
Eyes shift down to Minji’s mouth. Something rumbles in Siyeon’s chest, pulling her to do something reckless. Maybe it’s not reckless. It’s just bold. It’s been a long time since she’s been bold.   
  
“Can I do something, too?”  
  
Minji nods. Siyeon acts on the impulse, touches the pads of her fingers to Minji’s cheek, and leads her mouth to hers.   
  
The kiss is chaste, merely a peck, but it creates sparks. It stirs the little wolf inside of her awake, ears swiveling in interest. It’s like she’s twenty again in the bed of her parent’s truck tasting sin for the first time.  
  
This time it’s better.   
  
“You’re not so shy either,” Minji mutters as she sits up.   
  
Her mouth is so pretty and inviting Siyeon wants to kiss her again but she quiets the storm. She’ll see her again. Maybe there will be more times for—  
  
God, this isn’t what she came here for but damn if she wants to turn it into that. No. Maybe? If only because she’s lonely. She’s hurting. She’s aching and begging and needing to finally let it all go.   
  
A finger drags from her forehead and over the slope of her nose where it taps the tip. “Goodnight, Siyeon.”  
  
“Goodnight, Minji.”  
  
An engine revs and Siyeon closes the front door of the beach house where she leans her back against, eyes closed and heart racing.   
  
From then on, everything changes. 


	2. Chapter 2

Siyeon wakes up and she _hurts._  
  
Her muscles scream at her in protest as she rolls over in bed to peer at the digital clock on the nightstand. Past ten. She flops onto her back with a miserable groan. Regrets. She has so many regrets about the previous night.   
  
Except for a few.   
  
She licks her lips and remembers the way they felt touching another pair. It makes her giddy and her stomach fills with butterflies. She feels like a kid with a crush. Maybe sore muscles from thinking she was an Olympic swimmer with medals for the hundred-meter butterfly stroke was worth it.  
  
It takes her all of the will power she has to drag herself out of bed. Another shower helps to loosen up some of her muscles but a dull ache remains beneath the surface in her thighs and shoulders. She should work out more.   
  
Eggs and rice sizzle as she preps brunch along with a tub of kimchi she pops open from the fridge. She eats at the breakfast bar in the kitchen propped on a stool. The flatscreen hangs on the wall but she has no desire to turn it on. The view outside grasps her attention instead where she can see the buoy bobbing in the ocean. Embarrassment rams into her heart fluttering thoughts. She said too much last night. She had a pretty girl flirting with her in her underwear under the romantic glow of moonlight and the one thing she decided to bring up is her _best friend._  
  
Siyeon hopes Minji wasn’t too turned off by that. Well, she didn’t seem like she was. Not with how her eyes twinkled and Siyeon’s kissed her cheek, voice husky as she said she wanted to see Siyeon again.   
  
Kimchi crunches as Siyeon takes another mouthful in thought. She didn’t come here for flings but maybe...maybe getting distracted by someone else wouldn’t hurt. Maybe she needs to let go of the common restraints she’s used to having. Like always being polite, always coming across as good, like pretending that she doesn’t want to be taken to the stars by a gorgeous woman that isn’t afraid to put her teeth in her neck.   
  
Her best friend wasn’t that. She filled in some of the holes in Siyeon’s desires but when things got too intense, when they ventured into territory of risk that showed the wolf’s fangs, she drew back. She shrank away. She looked at Siyeon as if she was trying to figure out who this being was despite having known each other for years.   
  
It hurt. But Siyeon was too caught up in the excitement and the fun and the no strings attached to realize she went too far.   
  
Her phone sounds from upstairs, the harsh alarm making her jump.   
  
It’s a pain getting up all those steps but she makes it and disables the work alarm she forgot to turn off. She makes sure all other alarm alerts are turned off while she’s at it. There’s no schedule to be had here.   
  
Which reminds her.   
  
To hang out with someone, you have to be able to contact them. Siyeon smacks herself on the forehead. They didn’t exchange numbers. That was the last thing on her mind when it was filled up with soft lips and raging hormones.   
  
Maybe she’ll go down to the beach and get it that way. Was that weird? It’s only been one night but Siyeon is a live wire of anticipation and restlessness.   
  
She gives the rest of brunch and cleaning the washroom to think about it before she decides.   
  
A graphic tee tucks into a pair of black shorts and she ventures out. Figuring exercising her legs will help neutralize the ache, she walks her way to the beach. She realizes quickly that Minji isn’t on her usual post and the other lifeguard on duty a few paces away isn’t her either.   
  
Siyeon tries not to let the disappointment get to her. There are plenty more days to spend and there’s plenty she can get up to herself.   
  
Leaving the beach, Siyeon wanders along the road with nowhere in particular in mind. An advertisement for snow cones on the window of a little shop called _Tailfins_ catches her eye. She smacks her lips. She could go for a snow cone.   
  
A bell jingles as she slips into the shop. It’s catered to beachgoers selling towels, flip flops, sunglasses, floaties, and boogie boards. There are surfboards on display as well along with accessories for the sport. Cheesy, tourist shirts hang on wall racks, their graphics looking like they were done on a computer paint program circa 1997.   
  
Other displays have cooler buys—handmade jewelry of assorted designs, glass figurines of sharks and dolphins and sea lions and whales, volcanic rocks you can purchase to sit on your shelf or keep in a little velvet pouch like good luck charms.   
  
The racks of snacks and foods catch Siyeon’s attention and she wanders over to eye the brands of instant teokbokki.   
  
“Can I help you with anything?”  
  
Siyeon looks up from the cup ramen in her hand to find the bright eyes of a clerk. She’s in one of the cheesy t-shirts that she has cut up the sides and tied along the seams. It makes it less atrocious and somehow hip paired with her jeans and bubblegum pink hair styled into space buns. A name tag tells Siyeon her name is Gahyeon.   
  
“Uh, no.” Siyeon places the ramen down. “Well, actually. I saw you have snow cones?”  
  
“Yeah! This way.”  
  
Siyeon follows her over to where a teenager mans a small, snow cone cart across the shop. A chalkboard sign lists the flavors they have and Siyeon settles on bubblegum. Maybe it has to do with pink hair.   
  
“Good choice,” says Gahyeon. The bell to the shop rings. “You pay up at the counter,” she tells Siyeon before pulling away to tend to the new customer.   
  
A mound of pink ice is given to her in a styrofoam cup with a spoon. Siyeon bids her thanks and heads for the front where laughter echoes from. At the counter, she finds Gahyeon behind the register along with a familiar face.   
  
“Are you ready to check out?”   
  
Gahyeon’s address draws eyes over to her. Lips curl up at the corners.   
  
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the newbie,” says Bora. She’s in a fitted black tee and a pair of gray acid wash shorts that show off the muscles in her thighs down to her combat boots that give her an extra inch of height. “Have a nice ride?”  
  
Siyeon’s ears go red at Bora’s smirk. She knows she’s talking about the motorcycle but Siyeon’s brain continues to pink silk, buoys, and chaste kisses.   
  
“Oh, no, unnie, what did you do?” asks Gahyeon looking sorry for Siyeon. It doesn’t evade her that everyone seems to know each other here. She sort of likes that. “Why does she look like she’s going to pass out?”  
  
 _“I_ didn’t do anything. Minji took her out.”  
  
“As if that’s any better,” Gahyeon grumbles and picks up a can of surf wax Siyeon guesses Bora came in for. The scanner beeps and she gives the total.   
  
Bora pays with exact change and declines a paper bag. “Interested in having another go?” Her arms cross over her chest, hip leaned on the counter.   
  
The way she looks Siyeon up and down is different from the way Minji does. Bora is sinister where Minji is all-consuming. Neither do well for her insides and the red in Siyeon’s ears leaks into her face.   
  
“I don’t know. I want to make it at least halfway through my vacation without suffering any broken bones.”  
  
“Unnie is a great teacher, though,” says Gahyeon.   
  
Siyeon doesn’t doubt it but there’s something fiercely intimidating about the smaller woman. Riding with Minji was one thing but she doesn’t know if she won’t throw up if it’s Bora clutching the handles.   
  
“Heavy machinery isn’t really my thing.”  
  
“Bring a board and come down to the beach for a lesson,” Bora suggests then. It’s no less dangerous. “You can be in the ages five to ten class.”  
  
Gahyeon snorts a laugh at that. Siyeon sighs.   
  
“I’ll think about it.” And speaking of the beach. “I didn’t see Minji on her post.”  
  
Bora shrugs. “She’s across town today.”  
  
“Oh.”   
  
Bora smirks at her then turns to Gahyeon. “Thanks, brat.”  
  
“Hey!” Gahyeon pouts.   
  
Swiping up the wax, Bora heads for the exit, bell ringing as she goes. Siyeon approaches the counter in her absence and fishes for her wallet while Gahyeon rings her up for the snow cone.   
  
“Is she always like that?” asks Siyeon. A few wrinkled bills land on the counter.   
  
“Who, Bora?” Gahyeon snorts. “That’s her being nice.”  
  
“Scary.”  
  
“Unnie is really nice but you definitely don't want to end up on her bad side.”  
  
“Why, what happens?”  
  
Gahyeon grins. “No one has ever lived to tell.”  
  
Siyeon’s eyes widen.  
  
“If you spend five dollars more, you get a free t-shirt. Deal for visitors only,” Gahyeon chimes, well-rehearsed.   
  
Siyeon shakes her head. She doesn’t think she can rock the smatter of eighties' colors and designs the way Gahyeon can.   
  
“Thanks for coming!” Gahyeon shouts at her back as she heads for the door. “And good luck.”  
  
Siyeon doesn’t know what Gahyeon means by good luck but maybe she gets a hint when she finds Bora outside on the porch in front of the shop. She would think nothing of it, just Bora relaxing back against the wood paneling, except she’s looking right up at her, eyebrows lifted up in interest.   
  
“It’s Siyeon, right?” Bora asks, pushing off the wall to stand upright, shoulders turning her way. Siyeon nods. She doesn’t remember giving Bora her name. “Minji said you’d probably come looking for her.”  
  
Siyeon’s slow to tear away from Bora’s eyes to see the little square of notepad paper she’s holding out to her. It’s identical to the kind Minji gave her the address to the bar on. She’s sure she knows what’s on it but checks anyway. And she’s right. A phone number.   
  
“Uh,” Siyeon clears her throat, “thanks.”  
  
“Mhmm.”  
  
Siyeon folds it back and places it in her pocket.   
  
“You’re not doing anything right now, are you?” asks Bora suddenly.   
  
Siyeon narrows her eyes, reeling through reasons why Bora would be asking. “No?”  
  
“Would you mind helping me with something?”  
  
“What kind of something?”  
  
“Nothing big.” Bora gives a nonchalant shrug. “Count it as a trade-off for delivering that note.”  
  
It sounds fair enough and Siyeon really has nothing else to do other than go back to the beach house and stress about how to utilize the new tool she’s been given. “Okay.”  
  
Bora grins. “What a sucker.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Siyeon holds onto the grab handle as Bora drives a yellow, open Jeep down the road, trailing the beach line. Wind billows through her hair, whipping it out behind her. Bora was smart enough to pull hers into a ponytail so the ends don’t snap around to web across her face.   
  
Siyeon starts to think Bora doesn’t like anything that’s not deemed potentially dangerous. Even with a seatbelt on, Siyeon can’t help but feel like she’s going to tumble out of the Jeep and onto the pavement. She hopes those motorcycle skills and control on a board translates over into safe Jeep operation.   
  
Siyeon still doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into. She starts to get nervous when Bora pulls off the asphalt and starts down a slope of sandy dirt, following the trail where tires have previously tread. The flatbed she has attached to the back of the Jeep squeaks as they bump along.   
  
This section of the beach is rugged. More rocks and vegetation sticking through the ground than soft, squishy sand. A few wooden sheds stand a few feet apart from each other. Siyeon thinks she was wrong to assume Minji was the serial killer.   
  
The Jeep slows to a stop in front of one of the sheds where Bora turns it off.   
  
“What are we doing here?”  
  
Bora pulls the hair tie off her ponytail and redoes thick, chocolate waves up into a bun. “Nothing you’re going to like.”  
  
Siyeon’s eyes bug.  
  
“Relax. I didn’t ask you to help me hide a body or anything.” Reaching over, Bora pops open the glove compartment and retrieves a pair of work gloves. They don’t help support the claims about no dead bodies. “Wear these.”  
  
Siyeon stares at the worn-in gloves that drop in her lap. “What for?”  
  
“The owners don't charge me a rental fee for using the beach for my surf lessons if I occasionally help with upkeep and give them discount wings at the bar,” Bora explains.   
  
She fishes out another set of gloves from under her seat and climbs out of the Jeep. Siyeon quickly follows suit, staying behind Bora who works a key into the padlock that holds the shed closed.   
  
“Most of that upkeep is cleaning after the beachgoers leave.”  
  
Bora pulls the door open. The smell hits Siyeon first. She coughs, hand slapping over her nose. A breeze flies by, taking most of the stink coming off the pile of trash bags that sit inside the shed.   
  
“The garbage doesn’t run here on the weekends and the owners hate junk sitting around.” Stepping inside, Bora grabs two bags and carries them to the flatbed, telling Siyeon on her way back that, “we have to take these to the dump.”  
  
It’s easy enough. Dirty but easy.   
  
Trying not to breathe in too deeply, Siyeon helps move the bags to the flatbed. There’s not as many as she thought, but having more hands decreases the time it would’ve taken Bora to do it alone. She’s glad she has experience tossing trash after closing the restaurant back home.   
  
“Minji usually helps when she can but she’s busier these days,” says Bora.   
  
Siyeon wants to ask with what but doesn’t feel like it’s her place. She doesn’t really know them, and as much as either freely offers information about themselves, she finds it rude to pry.   
  
“Ah,” she says instead.   
  
“She’s pretty, right?”  
  
Siyeon almost drops the bag in her hand. She catches it before it can slip and bust all over the ground. “Who?”  
  
“Minji.”  
  
She knew who Bora meant. She just needed another second to process the question. She still can’t fully process it or why Bora would ask it so suddenly. “She...uh…”  
  
“Come on, you can tell me.” Bags dropped, Bora dusts her hands off, eyeing Siyeon who brings two more to the flatbed. “What’s a few shared secrets amongst friends?”  
  
“Friends?” Siyeon lets out a breath once the haul in her hands is safely deposited.   
  
“If you prove yourself worthy, we can acquaint ourselves up to it.”  
  
Siyeon doesn’t know why everything Bora says sounds like there are hidden meanings behind it. Maybe it has to do with how active her eyebrows are. She’s very expressive. More so than Minji. Too many grins and smirks and wiggling brows and little, teasing laughs.   
  
“I’m only here a few months.”  
  
“So?” Bora coughs. “You’ve never made friends on a vacation?”  
  
Siyeon thinks back to sparklers. To hands wrapped around her wrists. Metal digging into her shoulder blades. An airy laugh and a soft face.   
  
She can’t say they were friends but they were something. For a few fleeting moments, Siyeon became somebody.   
  
“Not really.”  
  
“Damn. Then again, I guess you do smell of all things loner.”  
  
Siyeon flounders. “I’m not a loner!”  
  
Bora takes a step toward her, leaning in as she drags in a long breath. “Oh, yeah. You reek. One hundred percent loner.”  
  
Siyeon glares through a pout. Bora cackles. “What if I am?” She spins away from her to grab another set of bags.   
  
“Then I’d say I hit the jackpot.” Bora smiles. “It’s always the awkward, loner types that surprise you. In _all_ sorts of ways.”  
  
Siyeon doesn’t have a comeback for that. Bora seems satisfied with herself for rendering her speechless and they finish loading the rest of the trash in silence.   
  
“That’s it.” Bora lifts her arms above her head as she stretches. A few pops sound from her spine. “I can drop you back at the beach if you want.”  
  
“I can tag along.”  
  
Bora purses her lips. “If you think I’m going to treat you to dinner after this, you’re wrong.”  
  
“It wouldn’t be a fair trade if I bailed on you now, would it?”  
  
“Ohhhh.” Bora’s toothy grin is playful and infectious. “A girl who works for what she’s given. I like that.”  
  
Siyeon rolls her eyes and gets into the Jeep where she takes the gloves off and drops them to the floorboards like Bora told her to.  
  
She’s more comfortable on this car ride, back leaned against the seat and head lulled on the headrest. They leave the shore and the specks of surfers to dive deeper into town.   
  
“How long have you been surfing?” Siyeon asks.   
  
Bora glances at her from where she’s fussing with the dial on the radio. “Since I was a kid.” Finding a station, she returns both hands to the wheel. “I used to do competitions. Still do but not as many. I had brands who wanted to sponsor me, teams that wanted to sign me, and even modeling offers for sportswear. I did a few jobs but it wasn’t me.” Bora pulls a face of disgust. “Too much politics and I hate dieting for shoots.”  
  
Siyeon laughs a little at the last part. “So, now you’re an instructor by day and a bartender by night.”  
  
“For now. A surfer buddy of mine actually opened the bar. He offered me an assistant management position so I have input on my schedule and I get to decide when my classes are. It gives me a lot of freedom. I never liked being tied down.” The look of distaste she has at the comment gets stolen by a smirk. “Not unless there are ropes involved.”  
  
Siyeon’s neck flares. She clears her throat “Oh.”  
  
“God.” Bora’s high pitched, choppy laugh is louder than the music. “You’re so easy.” She smacks Siyeon lightly in the arm.   
  
Siyeon grabs the spot, feigning hurt. It gets her another smack and oddly enough it does feel like they’re friends. Can be. “Is there something in the water here that makes everyone so blunt?”  
  
“Take a few more dips in it. You’ll unwind soon enough.”  
  
They reach the dump and it’s quick work riding the trash with the help of the workers.   
  
Siyeon lingers back while Bora chats with a few of them. She waves when she’s introduced but keeps to herself. Bora is the friendly sort. It’s a contrast to the devilish thing Siyeon met at the bar. She laughs with her whole body and smiles in a way that hits you right in the chest. She’s larger than life and bold in all her gestures that Siyeon almost forgets she’s so compact or that she has to look down to meet her gaze when she approaches her.   
  
“We’re done now,” says Bora as she reaches the Jeep. “Painless, right?”  
  
Siyeon scoffs as she gets back into the car. “I’ll need three showers before the stink gets out of my hair.”  
  
“You’ll live,” Bora tells her and laughs quietly to herself when Siyeon rolls her eyes. “Now that you’ve done the most disgusting thing you’ll do while you’re here, what about those lessons?”  
  
Siyeon groans. “What is so great about these lessons? Is there complimentary food or something?”  
  
“First off, _I'm_ the greatest thing about the lessons, but no. They’re fun. I think you’d enjoy it.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Tourists get their first lesson in the water free. After that, some don’t come back but a lot do. They love it. The groups end up helping each other and set up meets to practice by together.”  
  
Siyeon purses her lips, tone dull. “Is this because I’m a loner?”  
  
“Your words this time, not mine.”  
  
This time it’s Siyeon who hits Bora in the shoulder.   
  
“Just try it. It can be relaxing, too.”  
  
Siyeon nods and looks away. The way Bora says it makes her wonder if Minji spoke to her about some of the things that she talked about the previous night. It’s a little embarrassing if she did but Siyeon appreciates Bora’s kindness if that’s the case. It doesn’t help the knots in her stomach though.   
  
Gravel crunches as they pull up to the beach house. Siyeon jumps out and fishes her keys from her pocket. There’s something awkward about the sudden parting and she isn’t sure what to do as she rounds the car to head for the front. Should she thank her? Wave?   
  
She settles on a wave that makes Bora cackle, hand throwing up to mock her stiff gesture.   
  
“Hey, loner!” Bora yells over the engine. Siyeon turns around from where she’s just reached the door. “Thanks for helping me today. Playing garbage man probably isn’t on your itinerary but I appreciate you jumping right in.”  
  
“I owed you, didn’t I?”  
  
“Yeah, I guess you did.” Bora smiles, softer than before. “Minji is usually done at the center by three. Do what you want with that information.”  
  
The Jeep peels off and Siyeon heads inside.  
  
She knows exactly what she’s going to do.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
She does not know what she’s going to do.  
  
The minute hand on the clock ticks to twenty minutes past five and Siyeon still hasn’t hit call on the phone she hasn’t been able to keep out of her hands.  
  
The stress of calling Minji outweighs the stress of the text messages that await her. Her dad is upset while her mom has resorted to begging her to come home. She’s not strong enough to tell them no yet so she tells them nothing.  
  
So far, there haven't been any more messages from anyone else of importance. From one person in particular. That should be a relief but something inside of her is offended. She shouldn’t be. Siyeon is the one who didn’t respond after she landed. The ball is in her court. She doesn’t want it.  
  
Siyeon taps out of whatever social media app she has open and goes to her contacts. Minji’s name sits there with the newly added number. Maybe it was too soon to add it to her list but she waves that off. She’s here for three months and she wasn’t going to fish for the notepad paper every time she wants to call her.   
  
She’s not good at this. She’s usually the one being called. It was her best friend who approached her when they were kids. It was that girl who came over to Siyeon who was trying to fly a kite in front of the beach house when she was twenty. It’s the boys who call her pretty when she’s working at the restaurant, bringing them their orders or ringing them up who ask if she’s seeing anyone or if they can take her out.   
  
She’s not the sort to put herself out there. It’s not because she doesn’t think she’s worth it or pretty enough or cool enough. She just...keeps things simple. Didn’t want to rock the boat. Didn’t want to taste blood only to then devour the entire animal.   
  
Now she doesn’t have a choice.  
  
Rolling off the couch, Siyeon paces through the room.   
  
“Just do it,” she tells herself. “Do it, do it, do it, do it.”  
  
It’s Bora’s voice in the back of her head calling her a loner that makes her hit call. The line rings and Siyeon gasps as if she’s not expecting it to actually go through. She’s two intones in when she feels the panic in her chest and thinks it’s better if she hangs up now and—  
  
“Hello?”  
  
Siyeon freezes.   
  
“Hellooo?” Minji sings. Her voice is higher over the phone, her soft chuckle sweet. “Is that you, Siyeon?”  
  
She has the voice equivalent of a mouse. “Yes.”  
  
“Hi.” The smile in Minji’s voice is obvious.   
  
Siyeon clutches the phone with two hands. Her clammy palms make her grip slippery. “Hi.”  
  
“Hi, again. I was waiting on your call.” She was? “I’m glad my note got to you safely.”  
  
It did though there was a lot of unsafe that she had to do in exchange. She’s glad she returned home in one piece. “Sorry I took so long to call you.”  
  
“You have perfect timing.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
Minji hums. “I just got in a while ago.”  
  
“Oh. You probably want to relax and eat.”  
  
“I am relaxing and I’ve eaten.”  
  
“Cool.”  
  
“Yeah, pretty cool,” Minji playfully mocks.  
  
Siyeon covers her face with her entire palm. Smooth. Really smooth. “How, uh, was your day?”  
  
“You’re sweet to ask but you don’t have to.”  
  
“No, no, I want to.” Siyeon lays on the couch, rolling to one side with the phone on the cushion. “Please.”  
  
“Alright.” Minji blows air past her lips. “It was a little disappointing.”  
  
She goes on to tell Siyeon about her day. From being late getting to the marinelife center because she snoozed her alarm one too many times, to going out with the diving team to check on the reefs. It’s the latter that adds a pout in her voice as she talks about the declining nature of the coral.   
  
Siyeon didn’t think she’d ever care so much about coral until she hears Minji talk about it like it’s her own child. Her love and passion for what she does and the efforts they’re taking to save the marine life of the island is charming and endearing.   
  
“I just gave you an entire Ted Talk.” Minji groans on the other line.   
  
Siyeon flops to her back, unaware of how big her smile is pulling across her face. “If I ever have to answer questions about coral reef in trivia, I’ll have all the answers.”  
  
“I don’t know if that’s a good thing,” Minji grumbles. “Coming home to food was the best part of today. Oh! And this phone call.”  
  
“Stop it. You’re making me blush.”  
  
“Cute. Tell me about yours now.”  
  
Siyeon keeps it quick and short while Minji laughs at her for being roped in by Bora to do literal dirty work. The conversation feels so warm and natural. It drags on until the sun hangs low on the horizon turning the beach house into oranges and magentas and soft, purple hues. She doesn’t remember the last time she’s talked to someone like this and for so long. Especially, someone she doesn’t really know. That somehow makes it easier.   
  
“Have you ever been to the cove?” Minji asks after a fit of shared laughs at a story that involved seaweed and a very well executed snorkeling prank.   
  
“I’ve been to _a_ cove.” A grumble in her stomach draws Siyeon off the couch and into the kitchen. She pulls a box of cereal from the pantry and hops on the counter, taking a handful and eating it dry.   
  
“Do you want to go tonight?”  
  
“Loved to.” It comes out before she has time to swallow.   
  
“Should I pick you up? No bike this time.”  
  
“I didn’t mind the bike.” And maybe she’s been thinking about taking Bora up on one of those offers. She owes it to herself to live a little.   
  
“I want things to be a little more peaceful tonight,” Minji explains. “I’ll be there at ten.”  
  
Siyeon doesn’t ask why so late. She just says, “Okay,” and hangs up.  
  
Cereal falls to the ground as Siyeon wiggles a dance on the counter, fists shaking in the air. She only has a couple of hours to get ready and to make sure the garbage smell is completely out of her hair.   
  
She hops off the counter. She’ll clean up the cornflakes later.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Minji comes in Bora’s Jeep. This time there are doors and a top on it.   
  
“Do you two always share vehicles?” Siyeon asks as she gets in.   
  
She eyes Minji’s outfit to make sure she’s not over or underdressed. She’s in an oversized tee with a flannel and denim shorts, matching crew socks stretching out from a pair of worn-in converse. Siyeon relaxes. Her green, cargo joggers and long sleeve, black crop matches well enough. The way eyes examine her, Siyeon figures Minji likes her choice, too.   
  
“This one’s mine.”  
  
Siyeon doesn’t know why, but she finds that attractive. Almost more than Minji driving a bike.  
  
“Ready?” Minji shifts into reverse to pull them out of the drive and starts along the gravel path to the main road.   
  
When Siyeon was younger, they used to visit the cove. It was one of the island attractions, bringing many out of towners to the waters. Siyeon remembers spending time minding her steps on the rocks that stuck up out of the shallows and poking a stick into the dirt where little fish curiously swam around.   
  
Siyeon figures that’s where they’re headed but the terrain they reach isn’t familiar to her. They pull off the road and drive down across grass and dirt where Minji stops and turns off the Jeep. Without the rumble of the engine, it’s quiet.   
  
“This place isn’t exactly on the map,” Minji explains. “Bora showed me this spot.” She leans over, hand cupped around her mouth as she whispers, “It’s enchanted.”  
  
Reaching into the backseat, Minji pulls up a backpack. It slips on her shoulders and she pushes out of the car. Siyeon follows suit and falls into step just behind Minji who begins across the stretch of dirt.   
  
They’re near the water somewhere far past the beach. There’s a cluster of trees nearby, and in the far distance, across the water, Siyeon can see the hazy form of cliffs. The terrain they’re on is rocky and hard in some places. There’s not a true path carved out but Minji navigates it expertly using a small, LED flashlight that hangs on her keys as a guide.   
  
It’s hard to see where they’re headed at first but Siyeon soon makes it out. Large forms of rock create a little island that protrudes from the coast into the water. Stones weathered by wind and water create a path to reach it. Siyeon is careful not to slip, matching Minji’s footsteps to know where to step on the slippery rock.   
  
Jagged edges give to a fairly flat ground making it easier. They walk a bit further until they’re near the edge with boulders to their right and an open view in front and to the left.   
  
“The tide will be low for a while,” says Minji.   
  
Siyeon hadn’t thought about the surface they’re on being underwater a few hours prior. She decides to trust Minji to know when the next tide rolls in as she shrugs off the backpack and unzips.   
  
A blanket pulls out first. Siyeon helps Minji spread it over the ground and sits with her in the middle of it. It’s soft and warm with the lingering scent of Minji’s perfume mingling with another.  
  
Containers of cold noodles, cans of cola, and a few water bottles lift from her bag next.   
  
“Late night snack!” Minji claps her hands together, mouth parted in an open smile.   
  
Siyeon blinks. She wasn’t expecting a whole picnic. “Did you make this?” she asks while accepting a pair of chopsticks. The top of one of the containers opens and Siyeon’s stomach grumbles at how good it smells.   
  
“More or less.”  
  
The questionable response is overruled by the taste of food. It’s good. It makes Siyeon think of the restaurant and all the free meals she got. For a second, she misses home. Remembering who she left back there suddenly turns that homesickness bitter.   
  
Siyeon licks broth off her lips. “How is the cove enchanted?”  
  
“Just wait.” Minji winks. Siyeon has no choice but to. “So,” Minji starts, a can of cola at her lips that she slurps. “Tell me who you are.”  
  
“Uh...Lee Siyeon.”  
  
Minji rolls her eyes, stabbing her in the shoulder with her chopsticks. “Tell me _about_ you, Lee Siyeon.”  
  
She shifts on the blanket and scrunches her nose. She hates these sorts of questions. They make her think of the first days of classes and having to introduce herself, all that attention directed on her, failing to keep the stutter out of her voice, hoping she sounded interesting enough for people to like her or boring enough that people would leave her alone.   
  
“I was born in Daegu,” she says. “My family moved up near Seoul when I was seven to open their restaurant.”  
  
That information causes interest to fill Minji’s face. Noodles go into her mouth with no thoughts to finish chewing before speaking again. “What kind of restaurant?”  
  
“Variety. It’s small but it’s successful. I’ve worked there since I could.”  
  
“Does this mean I can expect a dinner and movie date?”  
  
The last word makes the back of Siyeon’s neck prickle. She hasn’t been on a date since ever. “Does that mean this is a date?”  
  
Minji shrugs. “Depends.”  
  
“Okay, same.” She smirks. “Depends.”  
  
Minji laughs and sits back after taking another bite, hands holding her up. She picks at the back of her teeth with her tongue. “What else?”  
  
“I don’t know. I’m pretty boring.” Siyeon takes a bite and chews, tip of the chopsticks poking at her bottom lip in thought. “I like to play video games. Me and my best friend tried to start a league but it failed.” She laughs to herself. “We like to pretend we’re better than we are. We actually work at the restaurant together,” Siyeon points out and Minji nods. “There’s a PC bang we like to go to, coin karaoke, sometimes I like to take pictures of things.”  
  
“Pictures?” Minji’s lips part. “Can you show me?”  
  
Siyeon pulls out her phone and opens her photos, quickly scrolling past the random things in her camera roll, the selfies, and the hoard of images of her and her best friend using various filters to find the ones she wants. “Here.”  
  
Minji scoots closer, legs crossed and neck craned to look at the screen. They’re not much of anything. Snapshots of the sunrise or sunset, crowded bus stops, skyscrapers, traffic lights at night in the rain, blurry captures of people bustling along the street to the neon and LED glow of street signs and billboards.  
  
She swipes once more and an image of her takes the screen. A capture of her with sleepy eyes looking into the camera. The soft touch of morning light leaks in through a nearby window and her dark hair falls around her face, across a pillow, and down into the dip of her collar that gives away that she’s bare.   
  
It’s not a picture taken by her hands. Siyeon’s chest singes at the same time her stomach flutters at the memory of when it was taken and that Minji is looking right into one of the most intimate moments and parts of her.   
  
She quickly closes the app and turns off the screen. “That’s all,” she says, voice stiff.   
  
“They’re pretty. You have a really good eye.”  
  
“Thanks, mom.”  
  
Minji bumps her shoulder into Siyeon’s. “I’m serious! I wouldn’t just say that.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Really. I’m honest.”  
  
Siyeon takes one last mouthful and sets the container down. “What if they were ugly? What would you say then?”  
  
“They’re not so you’ll never have to find out.”  
  
Siyeon laughs. “Fine. I’ll let you win.”  
  
“Wise woman.” Minji drags her eyes up and down her again, lip between her teeth. Siyeon feels a burn in the base of her stomach. “What about school?”  
  
Siyeon shakes her head. “I went for half a year but didn’t like it. There was nothing that I really wanted to do but seeing my best friend get closer to graduating, I sort of want to try again.”  
  
“What would you do?”  
  
“...photography?” she pulls out of a hat. “I’m also really good with computers but that’s because of having to make outdated equipment run the games we wanted to play.”  
  
Minji hums. “You haven't thought much about this have you?”  
  
“How did you guess?” Siyeon runs a hand through her hair with a sigh. “Honestly, the only thing I thought of doing was working at the restaurant with my parents and taking it over one day. It’s been my steady for as long as I can remember but...”  
  
“It’s not exactly where you want to be,” Minji fills in.   
  
Siyeon nods. She leans back on her hands, brushing Minji in the process. She’s close enough to smell her perfume. It’s nice. “I feel guilty about it. They haven't said it, but I know it’s what my parents expect. When I think about it, like _really_ think about it, I panic because it’s not right. It’s not me.”  
  
“So what if you didn’t?”  
  
Siyeon sucks in air through her teeth. “Not an option.”  
  
“No?”  
  
“I mean, I don’t know.”  
  
“That’s okay, too. You have time to figure it out.”  
  
“Says the girl who knew exactly what she wanted to do since she was a toddler.”  
  
“I got lucky. Sue me!” Minji throws up her hands in jest. “My path just ended up being straighter than some.” Minji furrows her brow. _“Almost_ straight.” She chuckles and Siyeon playfully rolls her eyes. “Some people are like me where they know what they want. Then there are people like Bora who knows what she loves but it’s not the soul thing she does. She’s moved jobs so many times I’m pretty sure she could run every business on the island by now.”  
  
That’s impressive to think about and something Siyeon wouldn’t put past the woman though she only spent a few hours with her.   
  
“As long as you’re happy,” Minji concludes.   
  
“Thanks again, mom.”  
  
Minji pushes her over. Siyeon cackles against the rock and sits back up, sobering.   
  
“Really.” Siyeon finds Minji’s eyes. They glitter in the light of the moon that reflects off the surface of the water. “Thank you.”  
  
Minji smiles and it’s warm. It heats up the insides of Siyeon’s chest. She wonders how Minji can make her feel all sorts of ways. Excited, flustered, encouraged, nervous, comforted, comfortable. She doesn’t know many back at home that make her feel like that. She doesn’t remember many moments back home that she felt so seen and supported.   
  
It’s strange but she likes it.   
  
“Are you ready for the magic?” asks Minji. She’s got the kind of grin of a kid on Christmas morning, eyes big and wide and glowing.   
  
It takes a moment for Siyeon to find her breath again. “Huh?”  
  
“Look.” Minji motions to the water.   
  
It’s a while before Siyeon sees it. A fin pokes up through the surface. Others follow. It’s hard to see in the darkness but Siyeon soon makes out that they’re dolphins. They play at the surface, breaching occasionally with one another.  
  
“Whoa.”  
  
She’s never seen anything like it and they watch in silence, enjoying the scene and the company of simply being in each other’s presence.   
  
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”  
  
Siyeon turns to find Minji looking at her. Her features aren’t as soft as they were before. They’re sharp. Eyes focused. Lids heavy. She licks her lips slowly, glancing down at Siyeon’s own that hold slightly parted. The warmth Siyeon felt in her belly before turns molten. The air around them turns to static like the night in front of the beach house and her lips tingle remembering the way theirs touched.   
  
“I’m going to be forward one more time,” Minji says softly. As if speaking too loudly will break the spell that’s come over them. “Can I kiss you?”  
  
Siyeon blinks. She’s never had someone ask her that before. And she’s never had someone look at her quite the way Minji does. Fully and intense. A little hungry.   
  
Her voice is lost at sea so she nods.  
  
Minji holds for a few seconds, searches Siyeon’s face with her eyes before she leans in. The softest touch of fingers rests on her chin, bracing her for the pillow press of lips. It’s so gentle. Siyeon barely feels it. Then Minji presses in further, letting their mouths mold together and Siyeon feels it in her toes.   
  
The kiss is warm and slippery. Timid in some ways and testing. Each surveying the way the other moves and presses before adding in a little more. The fingers on Siyeon’s chin slide up across her cheek and hook behind her neck. Minji’s head tilts further and the kiss deepens. A tongue teases the line of her mouth and Siyeon opens for her, singing when it brushes hers and burns a stripe along the roof of her mouth.   
  
Siyeon shudders.  
  
“Everything okay?” Minji asks in a breath.   
  
“Yeah.”  
  
They press back in, more confident than the first time. Siyeon is ready for the way butterflies take flight when their lips meet. She sighs at the rush it brings and feels Minji’s mouth curve into a smile. That heightens her excitement even more.   
  
Something cuts through her pulse raging in her ears and Siyeon’s attention drifts. The distinct crunch of footsteps draws her back in a spike of fear. Minji looks back at her in confusion until she hears it, too. Her neck turns just as someone speaks.   
  
“Who’s over there?”  
  
A beam of light hits them, harsh and intruding. Siyeon slinks away from Minji who lifts a hand to shield from the offending glare.  
  
“Oh. Minji?” The flashlight clicks off.   
  
“Hey, Yubin.”  
  
Siyeon has to wait for her eyes to readjust to the darkness. She finds the figure of a girl in a patrol officer uniform standing on the rocks. A radio crackles and she responds, dismissing the trespassing report that she must’ve called in.   
  
“It’s late.” Yubin glances over at Siyeon who quickly turns away back toward the water.   
  
“I know. I…” Minji pauses as she looks to Siyeon, noting the coils in her shoulders. “Do you want a drink?” she asks the officer. Minji squeezes Siyeon’s shoulder as she gets up with a can and walks away with Yubin.   
  
Siyeon peers around the hill of rock to see them talking to one another. Yubin pops open the can and sips, nodding at whatever Minji is saying. The conversation looks tense until Yubin starts laughing and Minji’s laughter follows. They seem friendly and Siyeon remembers Minji mentioning a friend she has in security.   
  
The officer leaves soon after, returning to the car parked up on the road, and drives off.   
  
“Sorry about that.” Minji lowers beside her.   
  
“Are we in trouble?”  
  
“No. She knows we come here sometimes. It isn’t on the map so we’ll have to go soon. Safety and all.”  
  
“Right.” Her heart is still racing, however.   
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah.” Siyeon ruffles her hair, trying to ease her nerves. “I thought we were going to get chopped up.”  
  
“You and serial killers, what is that about?” Minji smiles, hand slipping against Siyeon’s face to draw it back to her. A thumb smooths over her bottom lip. “The one thing I hope didn’t get killed is the mood.”  
  
“Not completely.”  
  
“Then, where were we?”  
  
They kiss again but this time Siyeon can’t fully sink into it and she pulls back, eyes dropping in embarrassment at the questioning furrow in Minji’s brow.   
  
“Okay, maybe it was killed.”  
  
The wrinkles in Minji’s brow move to the corners of her eyes when she gives a sorry smile. “How about a change in scenery?”  
  
Siyeon quirks an eyebrow in question.  
  
“Would it be too much to ask you to come back with me? It’s late but I’m not ready for this night to end with you.” Her fingers brush against Siyeon’s cheek as she tucks her hair away. “I think we can get into a little more tonight. Don’t you?”  
  
Siyeon’s heart hammers. She swallows knowing exactly what those words are implying. “It’s not too much.”  
  
“We should pack up.”  
  
Containers and unopened cans drop into her backpack while empty ones go into a plastic sack to keep them from leaking inside. Blanket folded, Minji stuffs it in and shoulders the bag.   
  
Siyeon follows her steps across the rock and back to the Jeep that starts with the twist of the wrist. The light from Minji’s phone glares onto her face as she unlocks it, thumbs working over a text while they idle.   
  
The few minutes that pass by give Siyeon the opportunity to get control of her racing heart. That is until Minji deposits her phone on a cradle and gives her a wicked smile with the most enthusiastic,   
  
“Let’s go!”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
They pull into a drive that leads up to a house built on the small hump of a hill. Pathway lights trail a walkway up steps into a well-manicured yard and bounce against the sides made of bricks and white paneling and a section that’s painted light blue. There’s a porch out front seated with two chairs. Wind chimes hang from the veranda, tinkling lightly in the breeze.   
  
Further along the drive, Siyeon sees a garage but Minji shuts off the engine where they are. They’re quiet as they make way to the entrance. There’s a yard sign out front that says #1 SURF QUEEN FAN. Siyeon smiles at it. There’s only one person that can be about and she thinks it’s sweet how close Bora and Minji seem to be.   
  
“Don’t mind the mess,” Minji tells her as they step inside.   
  
Shoes discard by the door. Lamps flick on to light the interior. Siyeon wonders what Minji means by the mess. The place is neatly organized. It’s spacious but not exuberant. Fancy but not overly elaborate. The sitting area is wide and the dining space comfortable. There’s a nook where the kitchen sits and a hall that gives way to rooms. Siyeon’s insides flip. There was a bedroom back there.   
  
“Can I get you anything?” asks Minji, turning around to face her.   
  
“No, I’m…” Soyeon trails off as she looks down and finds a hand extended out to her. She lets her fingers slide against long ones that fold around her palm. “I’m good.”  
  
“Good.” Minji echoes with a tug that pulls Siyeon into her. Another hand finds itself onto Siyeon’s hip where it hooks around, holding her close. Everything heats up quickly with no time to think before lips are brought together. “Still dead?” Minji asks, parting just enough for those words to be heard before she presses in for another lazy kiss.   
  
“I’ve never felt more alive.”  
  
“Very good.” Minji pulls away only to lead Siyeon along by the hand, backward steps taken carefully toward the couch. The backpack on Minji’s shoulders slips off, containers inside hitting the floor with a thud. Siyeon finds herself falling after.   
  
Minji’s back settles against the armrest, knees open where Siyeon drops between them. Her hands throw out to catch her fall. One lands on Minji’s hip where her fingers fan over skin that peeks from a shirt that’s jostled upward.   
  
“Sorry!” Siyeon jerks the hand away.   
  
Minji catches it, places it back. “It’s okay.” She leans up to kiss Siyeon again with a hand at her neck. Her thumb strokes close to her throat and for a fleeting moment, Siyeon wishes she’d turn the feather touch into a grip.   
  
Wait.   
  
Siyeon’s eyes pinch tighter as an old image flashes.   
  
Minji’s mouth sears down off her chin to the side of her neck, kissing a wet trail. The stroke of a tongue makes Siyeon gasp and her grip on Minji’s hip tightens.   
  
“Is this okay?” Minji breathes against her throat.   
  
Siyeon swallows. “Yeah.”  
  
“You’re nervous.” Brown eyes meet hers as Minji pulls up. They switch back and forth between Siyeon’s, a curious look on her face. “Is this your first time?”  
  
“No!” Heat explodes and Siyeon feels it blossom in red on her cheeks.   
  
“If you’re not comfortable…”  
  
“That’s not it.” She mentally smacks herself. “It’s been…” she runs a hand through her hair, willing herself to calm down as she rests on her knees between Minji’s legs. Minji is so...pretty there propped on the armrest, purple hair down her shoulders and lips swollen from kissing. “It’s been a while?”  
  
Months. She doesn’t really want to think about it. Too bad her brain betrays her and it’s not purple hair she sees. It’s ash blonde and lightly tanned skin. It’s the twist of a grimace.  
  
“And you’re…” Siyeon waves a hand toward Minji hoping to get her point across. By the tilt of Minji’s head, she realizes she hadn’t made any sense. Siyeon sighs. “Intimidating?”  
  
Minji giggles and it contradicts the very thing she just said. “We can go slow.” She sits up to meet Siyeon where she is, hands sliding up the thick run of her thighs where they’re bent. “Or stop.”  
  
“I don’t want to stop.”  
  
“Me neither.” Minji bites her lip and her eyes darken again. It sizzles Siyeon’s insides and she tries to relax. “I want you but only if you’re comfortable. I want you to enjoy yourself.”  
  
Siyeon chokes. Minji is forward in a way she isn’t used to people being. She’s unashamed in her wants and desires that Siyeon only wishes to be. It’s sexy. It makes her pulse.   
  
“I am enjoying myself.”  
  
“Mhmm.” Minji tilts her chin up, baring her lips, giving Siyeon the choice this time.   
  
She takes it, full-on and surging forward. Air knocks from Minji’s chest as she falls back against the armrest. Siyeon rises off her knees and maneuvers until she’s straddling Minji’s waist. The change in position earns her a pleased moan that sends flames down her spine.   
  
Her hands curve around Minji’s shoulders to hold herself steady as the kiss intensifies. They paint the air in panting breaths, mouths separating for moments only to crash again. It’s Siyeon who pulls away this time to explore Minji’s neck. It’s long and gorgeous. Unmarred and perfect. Minji tilts her head back, giving her full access, hands held tight on hips. Siyeon finds a vein and sucks. Minji sighs.   
  
“That’s good, Siyeon.”  
  
She almost growls at how drunk on her Minji sounds. The wolf in her raises its ears and its tail, willing her to be bold and she tries. Her teeth graze over Minji’s throat where a groan vibrates. Siyeon opens her teeth, ready to clamp them around when she stops.   
  
She can’t.   
  
The wolf snaps at her to do it. She reins it back.   
  
She pulls back.   
  
Dark eyes find hers so heavy and wanting. Hands flex where they’ve moved from her hips to beneath her thighs and it distracts her. It takes her out. Takes her back.   
  
The moment shatters.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Siyeon scrambles.   
  
“Siyeon, wait—” the catch of Minji’s hand keeps her from going too far and she ends up on the opposite side of the couch, face in her hands. “What happened there?”  
  
Siyeon shakes her head. She pulls it back to glance at Minji. She’s too embarrassed to keep looking at her and drops her gaze. “I’m really sorry.”  
  
“No. Hey.” Minji moves across the cushions to cross her legs in the space beside her. Her head ducks, trying to meet Siyeon’s eyes. “It’s okay. We don’t have to. Honestly, Siyeon. It’s okay.”  
  
She sighs. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s…”  
  
“Too much on your mind?” Minji tried and she hits it right on. “I saw. You went somewhere, didn’t you?”  
  
Suddenly, she feels small. Small and frustrated. “I didn’t come to Jeju for this,” it flies out of her mouth harsher than she intends.   
  
Minji’s eyebrows twitch upward. It forces Siyeon’s frustration to collide with the sorry she feels for what just happened. The least she can do is give an explanation.   
  
“It feels almost wrong to jump into someone’s bed when it’s this very thing that ended up making me come here.”  
  
There’s a beat. Minji fully sobers from the heated moment. Her expression goes serious. “With your best friend?”  
  
Siyeon really doesn’t want to do this. It’s not fair to Minji to talk about this _again._ Not when they were about to—  
  
“It...wasn’t like that. It doesn’t mean anything. It didn’t. I don’t think…” Siyeon trails off. She wills the chaotic mess in her head into coherence. “We started doing something we thought we wanted. It was fine in the beginning but things changed.”  
  
“She didn’t have feelings for you.”   
  
Siyeon shakes her head. “I think we thought that we did. For each other. It’s complicated. I was the first girl she had ever kissed and I ruined it. I wanted to...” Her jaw flexes. “We didn’t want the same things.”  
  
Minji nods. It’s clear she doesn’t fully understand but Siyeon can tell she’s trying. It’s kind of her. Too kind of her.   
  
Siyeon blows air past her lips. “I’m sorry. Again.” For ruining a good night. For being fragile. For dumping her baggage where it doesn’t need to be placed.   
  
“Why don’t we do this,” Minji starts after a few seconds. “You can shower and wash all those bad feelings away. I should have some clothes that will fit you. You can stay here for the night. Bed or couch.”  
  
Siyeon frowns. No. That’s too much. “Minji…”  
  
She shakes her head, cutting Siyeon off before she can go any further. “When I used to come here every few months, even though I did because of a job, it was also an escape. If that’s what you need right now, that’s okay.”  
  
“I appreciate what you’re doing for me but—”  
  
“Siyeon, I didn’t just want you to have my number because I thought you were cute. I’m a lifeguard. I can tell when someone is struggling to tread water.”  
  
Siyeon’s chest tightens but she stops wringing her hands in her lap. She’s not freaking out anymore. She’s calm again under Minji’s gentle eyes and the gentle way she brushes a thumb over Siyeon’s knee where her hand rests.   
  
“I probably came on too strong and I’m sorry,” Minji says. “We don’t have to do _this_ if you don’t want to. You’re a really sweet girl. We can hang out without anything more.”  
  
“I want more. I want to do”—she waves a hand, gesturing between them—"this.” Minji smiles. “But maybe not tonight.”  
  
“And that’s okay,” Minji assures and Siyeon feels comfort knowing she means it. “Do you want to stay?”  
  
“If the offer still stands.”  
  
“I’ll find some clothes and get the towels ready.”  
  
Minji gets up to go. Siyeon reaches out, grabbing her wrist before she can get too far. Pulling, Siyeon leads Minji into a kiss. It’s only supposed to be simple. A means to show her appreciation but a fiery surge gets the best of her.   
  
She tugs more and Minji answers the call. Knees split over Siyeon’s lap where she straddles. Minji on her is different than the other way around. There’s no pressure. No worries. A craving stirs up in her to be completely taken over by this woman that catches her off guard. The way the craving ignites between her thighs is powerfully overwhelming.   
  
“Siyeon.” Minji draws back, her lips snapping against her teeth away from the bite Siyeon had it held in. Minji licks over the spot. “God, you.” She chuckles, leaning their foreheads together. “I know you don’t mean to but this is sending mixed signals.”  
  
“Sorry.” Siyeon winces. “I just wanted to get a taste of what I’m missing out on tonight.”   
  
“Oh, Siyeon.” Lips curve as Minji gives her a soft, sweet peck. “You’ve barely even gotten a nibble.”   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
The rumble of an engine stirs Siyeon out of sleep. She rolls over, rubbing her eyes before they slowly open. It’s not her beach house that she’s in and the realization brings the events of the previous night back to her.   
  
She groans, hands covering her face. Way to kill a mood, Lee Siyeon. Except she doesn’t feel totally bad for it. Minji made sure of that and Siyeon feels that she actually meant everything she said. That it was okay.   
  
A door opens and closes in the distance. Minji must be up making breakfast. Siyeon can smell something cooking that makes her stomach growl.   
  
Sitting up, she combs out her hair and stretches. She was given the spare room and the bed was more comfortable than Siyeon thought it would be. She’s always had trouble getting rest in foreign places but she slept just fine here.   
  
Her feet hit the floor as she gets up for the washroom. She slips out the door, trying to remember where Minji told her it is.   
  
“Hey, you.” It’s Minji.  
  
Siyeon stutters in her step, looking over her shoulder but Minji isn’t there. She’s not talking to her.   
  
“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” That’s Bora. Siyeon pauses. “I know you said to come back late afternoon but I forgot something I needed this morning for—” She cuts off. It’s quiet for a few clicks.  
  
“It’s okay,” Minji purrs. Siyeon pictures a cat, warm and content on a windowsill with fingers scratching behind its ears.   
  
“Where is she?” asks Bora, voice hushed but audible.   
  
Siyeon’s stomach waves. Is she asking about her?  
  
“Sleeping.”  
  
They’re talking about her.   
  
“Where?”  
  
Minji’s chuckle flutters through the air. “Nothing happened.”  
  
Siyeon flushes. They’re talking about _them._ Together. The butterflies and the heat returns along with a nervous pang in her chest. Why would Bora want to know about something like that?   
  
“Then why are you making pancakes?” asks Bora. “And why is there a smiley face made out of chocolate chips on— ow!”   
  
“Get what you came for and go.”  
  
“I can’t believe this. Kicking me out of my own house,” Bora pouts. She sounds so much different talking to Minji. A little whiny. Familiar. At perfect ease.   
  
“I love you,” Minji hums.   
  
Siyeon’s chest seizes.   
  
“Love you, too, babe.” The wet sounds of lips touching echoes through the halls that make Siyeon blush. She shouldn’t be listening to this. “Come by and see me tonight.”  
  
Then Bora’s gone. The engine of her bike revs outside and fades away.   
  
Siyeon holds for a few seconds before she heads for the washroom where she locks herself in. The toilet flushes and she goes to the sink, turning it on to wash her hands. Her reflection stares back at her. She has a bad case of bed head that she tries to comb out with her fingers to tame it into place. She’s flushed. That’s what gets her the most. Are Minji and Bora…  
  
She doesn’t know why she’s questioning it. The words and kisses exchanged answer her question. What Siyeon can’t answer is how can that be but she and Minji have...  
  
The light flicks off. Siyeon returns to the spare room on autopilot. She sits down on the edge of the bed, brow furrowed. It would be one thing if Bora didn’t know but she does. And now Siyeon’s confused as to why—  
  
A knock taps on the wood. “Siyeon?” The door creaks as Minji pushes it open. “Oh! You’re awake.”  
  
She pushes on a smile. “Morning.”  
  
“Good morning! I made breakfast. You can eat it now or stay in bed a little longer.”  
  
“I’ll eat.”  
  
They settle in the dining area. The table is already spread with food. The pancakes earlier mentioned sit surrounded by other dishes. Siyeon feels the corner of her mouth pull at the chocolate chip smiley face. Minji must’ve done it for her. For the night before. She grimaces.   
  
“That’s not the face I was hoping to get,” says Minji. She’s pouting, bottom lip stuck out. Her bangs have fallen over her forehead from where they’re usually parted or swept to the side. She’s like a plush bunny in the morning. Soft, rounded cheeks, and puffy eyes.   
  
“I’m sorry about last night.” Siyeon jumps when fingers pinch her in the forearm. “Hey!” She looks over to see Minji’s stern face.   
  
“Don’t apologize again, okay?”  
  
“What if—”  
  
Minji brandishes her fingers once again.   
  
Siyeon puts her hands up in defense. “Got it. No more apologizing.”  
  
“Good.” Her hand drops to pick up a fork. “Be like Mr. Pancake and turn that frown upside down.”  
  
It’s so silly it makes Siyeon laugh. Minji’s echoes and they fall quiet while they eat. It’s in that space that Siyeon catches things in the house she hadn’t noticed before. Tells of someone else who occupies the space. A mixture of two personalities under one roof that complements one another. She was too preoccupied the night before to see it. She hadn’t any reason to look for it but now she can see it everywhere and it makes the sweetness of the syrup-drenched over fluffy cakes a little bitter.   
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
Siyeon lifts her eyebrows. She didn’t think Minji was paying attention to her. She’s very attentive. She figures it comes with being a lifeguard, always watching. An expert to tell if the smallest change in body language means danger or not.   
  
Siyeon debates whether to bring it up. It’s not her business...but then again it is. Isn’t it?   
  
“Did I hear Bora earlier?”  
  
Minji doesn’t even flinch. “Yeah, she stopped by.”  
  
“How long have you been together?”  
  
Minji pauses. She swallows what's in her mouth and looks up, licking her lips. Siyeon can see the wheels turning. The cheerful glint in her eyes dampens, mouth flattening into a straight line. “Siyeon—”  
  
“You don’t have to explain,” she rushes to say. “Actually, I don’t know if I want you to explain.”  
  
“I’m going to anyway,” Minji comes back.   
  
She’s serious now and Siyeon decides better not to challenge her. She wasn’t going to anyway. If she was honest, she _does_ want to know   
  
Utensils clink against the table where Minji places them down. Arms fold as she leans them on the woodgrains.   
  
“To answer your question,” she begins, “we’ve been together for a little over five years. It was long distance at first during the time I used to split between the mainland and here. It wasn’t exclusive. When I moved here permanently, we got serious but…” she chews on her bottom lip. “We don’t have what you would call a typical relationship.”  
  
“Clearly.”  
  
“I was going to tell you.”  
  
“Before or after we slept together and you two laughed about it behind my back?”  
  
Minji’s brow furrows. “We wouldn’t do that.” Her tone takes a firmer edge. “You’re not something to laugh about, Siyeon. This isn’t a game. I’ve only known you for a few days, but I have genuinely enjoyed spending time with you. I like who I’ve gotten to know. Bora has nothing to do with that. She’s not involved in this.”  
  
Siyeon mulls over what Minji said as she sips on a glass of orange juice. There are waves in her stomach again. Minji shares her feelings freely and that makes Siyeon giddy but—  
  
“You do remember I’m only here for three months, right?” she bites in a grumble.   
  
“I know.” Minji looks her straight in the eye. “But do you really mind?”  
  
Heat bursts on the back of Siyeon’s neck. Weightlessness flutters in her gut. No, her brain says. She doesn't really mind. She’s just shocked.   
  
It’s a lot to process all of a sudden. Like how she has also enjoyed her time with Minji thus far, how she really likes the way she kisses her, how she speaks to her and makes her feel comfortable.   
  
Like how hearing her and Bora kiss in the kitchen didn’t make her feel slimy or envious. It made her pulse spike in excitement. Like how the moments she’s spent with the two, though small, are the moments she forgets about home and parents, and a best friend. Like how the wolf inside of her simmers at the knowledge that Minji and Bora are something a little wild beneath it all. Like Siyeon.   
  
“I…” Siyeon starts but she’s not sure what she’s going to say. She backtracks and draws her eyebrows in, a new thought coming to her. “She really doesn’t mind?”  
  
Minji’s lips pull in a smile that quickly lessens. She shakes her head. “Both of us have...ventured out before.”  
  
“Is that what you really do to acclimate newbies?”  
  
Minji laughs a full, loud laugh. “There have been a couple of travelers, but no. We’re not a hot stop to cater to someone’s steamy threesome fantasy.” Siyeon chokes. Minji hands her a napkin. “We both just have a lot of love to give.”  
  
Siyeon’s nose scrunches. “That’s cheesy.”  
  
“I can be sometimes.” Minji perks up her lips, blowing a kiss. Siyeon gags in jest. “I’m sorry for not being candid with you before. The first time I saw you on the beach, the last thing on my mind was that I’d end up kissing you under the stars. You enchant me, Siyeon.” A hand slips behind Siyeon’s neck, fingers playing with the baby hairs there. Something about Minji’s hold is steadying and securing. “There might only be three months, but I’ve stopped letting what I wanted to do or what I want pass me by. And I want you. I want to get to know you.” Minji leans in, head tilting with eyes big as they look up into Siyeon’s. “Do you still want to know me?”  
  
Siyeon‘s lids grow heavy from the warmth of Minji’s fingers working at her nape and the syrup off her breath that she tastes on her lips. “The first thing I want is to know myself.”  
  
“Mhmm.” Minji draws closer still until their noses bump. “And the second?”  
  
“To keep seeing you.”  
  
The sound of Minji’s smiles is sticky as it bursts across her face. “Sounds like a winner.”   
  
Then Minji kisses her deep.   
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: sexual language and elements

The calendar tells Siyeon it’s been nearly a full three weeks.   
  
She’s in a better place than she started. The moping has become less. The guilt is not as grating. She decides to call her parents because she owes them that much.   
  
The conversation starts off with her mom who fusses before she asks Siyeon if she’s eating properly and taking care of herself, if she needs anything and if she’s really doing okay.   
  
“Yes, omma, I’m fine. I needed a break.”  
  
Her dad tells her that if she needed a break so badly, she should’ve told them instead of vanishing in the middle of the night. She doesn’t share that they never would’ve let her go. They would’ve convinced her to take a long weekend, maybe go do something with her best friend, cut back hours at the restaurant.   
  
None of those would’ve done it.   
  
“I’ll make sure to call again, appa. I have to go.”  
  
She hangs up and sips coffee where she’s propped on a stool at the breakfast bar. Her days have been calm since the cove. She hasn’t seen Minji since the morning after. Work at the marinelife center has taken her across town but she does text. Siyeon tries not to bother her knowing she’s busy and conversations cut abruptly a bit after eleven o’clock signaling that Minji was knocked out for the night.   
  
Siyeon takes a gulp of coffee and holds it in her mouth as she checks the time on her phone. It’s nearly nine and she has somewhere to be though now she’s not so sure she wants to go through with it.   
  
Dumping out the rest of her cup, she changes into her swimsuit and throws a cut off and shorts over it. A towel stuffs into a bag along with whatever else she guesses she’ll need and heads out.   
  
There’s a decent amount of people out at the beach already but nowhere near crowded. The older type, mainly. A couple of joggers who kick up sand as they go. There are two couples playing volleyball in an intense game while onlookers watch, not daring to try to join them.   
  
Siyeon makes her way down to where a small cluster of people with surfboards are near the water. Bora is there in a gradient orange and pink rash guard paired with tight, black bottoms. Her braided pigtails are back, draping long over her shoulders.   
  
Bora looks up from where she’s chatting with the two others who sit in the sand, a smile blooming across her face when she catches sight of Siyeon. “Look who it is.”  
  
It’s at that moment Siyeon realizes one giant flaw in her plan of overcoming her fears and getting into the waves.   
  
“I don’t have a board.”  
  
“You mean you’re actually here for a lesson and not to gaze upon my pretty face?” Bora bats her lashes, hands folded under her chin.   
  
“Definitely not.”  
  
She laughs. “You’re lucky I bring a spare for boneheads.” Knuckles knock into Siyeon’s head as Bora walks by her. “Come on.”  
  
Siyeon skips to follow after, finding way to where the Jeep is parked in the sand closer to the road. A coral surfboard with a cluster of white flowers near the tail sits on the roof secured down by bungee cords.   
  
“I’m surprised you came,” says Bora. Climbing on the side of the car, she works at getting the board loose. “Actually, you didn’t do much of _that,_ did you?”  
  
It takes an entire five seconds before Siyeon gets _it._ Her whole face goes up in flames.   
  
Bora cackles. “You make my life so much fun.”  
  
Siyeon grumbles to herself, arms crossing over her chest. She doesn’t know how much she likes Bora getting her thrills at her expense. She also doesn’t know how she feels about how nonchalant Bora is about this situation.   
  
“This isn’t weird for you?” asks Siyeon.   
  
“Why would it be?” Bora grunts as she gets the board loose and hops down. “Is it weird for you?” She hands off the board to Siyeon. It’s a lot bigger than she expected. “Be honest.”  
  
“Um. A little?” The board is awkward in her grip but it’s not nearly as awkward as what they’re talking about. “It’s not something I’m familiar with, but…”  
  
“But?” Bora glances up at her as they head back down to the water. Siyeon shrugs. She doesn’t know. It’s all so different. “If it’s too out of the bounds for you, that’s okay,” Bora tells her. “You don’t have to do something you’re not comfortable with.”  
  
She sounds like Minji though Bora doesn’t have that sweet edge. It’s direct. Black and white. Except nothing about any of this is black and white. It’s so gray. Very, very gray. Siyeon feels like she’s been living in a gray world herself, never really knowing where colors begin and end. She hasn’t found her own tones yet though the more time she spends with these two, she starts to see glimpses of vibrant hues bleed into the structured monotony of her life.   
  
“It’s not that I’m _not_ comfortable,” says Siyeon. Bora narrows her eyes in question. Siyeon chews her lip. “You don’t get worried?”  
  
“That my girlfriend is going to elope with a sexy, lone wolf stranger she just met?” Bora coughs a laugh. “No.”  
  
“Are we really strangers anymore?”   
  
“I call you sexy and _that’s_ what you pay attention to?”  
  
“I ignored it for my sanity.”  
  
Bora snorts. “If I was worried, I wouldn’t let it happen. And if I thought you were bad news, I’d put an end to it.” She swings a hand, smacking Siyeon on the back. “So, keep on being your mysteriously alluring self and keep my bunny happy while you’re here.”  
  
“Bunny?” Siyeon sputters out a laugh.   
  
Bora shoots her a glare that quickly becomes an open-mouthed smile as she turns to greet two newcomers who arrived when they were gone. Bora is animated as she riddles off names and pumps a fist in the air when they tell her she got them right. It makes Siyeon smile.   
  
They wait a few more minutes to see if anyone else comes before getting started. Siyeon joins the trainees that Bora has lined up side by side a few feet apart. She walks back and forth along the sand as she introduces herself, has each person tell their name and answer if they’ve ever tried to surf before, then dives into safety.   
  
Siyeon listens to each word, feeling nervous when Bora goes into horror stories about people who didn't follow the rules. She sees a few others shift and is comforted that she’s not the only one a little scared.   
  
The basics begin with waxing then how to lie on the board. It’s what they’ll be doing during the last twenty minutes of the lesson as they learn how to catch a wave while on their stomachs before attempting to stand up.   
  
Siyeon lies down and waits for Bora to come check her positioning.   
  
“A little far back.” Bora squats beside her and places a hand on the board in front of Siyeon as a reference point. “You want to be up here.”   
  
Another hand falls on the small of her back as Siyeon wiggles forward. It stays there, gently pressing to encourage her until Bora pushes down hard stopping her.   
  
Siyeon halts and looks up, finding Bora’s focused stare. She’s in the mode of professionalism. Siyeon doesn’t think too much about how much closer she chooses to be to her than the others or how her touch still lingers.   
  
“How’s that?” asks Siyeon.   
  
“That’s good but it might change some when you’re in the water. It’s more about feel. You’ll know.”  
  
Bora goes to stand, hand trailing up Siyeon’s back, across her shoulder blades, and finally slides off with a gentle brush of fingers against her ear. Siyeon thinks it’s unintentional until she catches the way Bora glances back over her shoulder at her, grinning victoriously at the blush Siyeon knows is on her neck.   
  
Once she’s gone through everyone, Bora directs the group to the water where she instructs everyone to lay down again to get the feeling of how the water moves beneath them. It takes a little longer to get used to than being on dry land but eventually everyone seems to get the hang of it.   
  
The rest of the lesson is Bora demonstrating how to paddle out and orient the nose of the board back at the beach to catch a small wave. It’s the trickiest part and she repeats it a few times, paddling out, turning, and paddling the first few seconds of the wave until it catches and she glides.   
  
She makes it look effortless. It isn’t. Everyone takes a few turns, cycling through a line. Siyeon’s first three attempts are messy but she tries to remember what went wrong to adjust for the next.   
  
“Okay!” Bora claps her hands together after the last person comes back to the huddle. There are still fifteen minutes. “Enough instruction. Go have fun! If you have any questions, I’ll be here to answer and shout tips.”  
  
Water splashes as trainees trot out into the water, boards in hand until they’re far enough out to lie down and try their luck again. As much as they mess up, no one seems too frustrated with themselves. Bora made sure to keep the mood light and positive, praising even when things didn’t go well, and offered advice instead of harsh critique.   
  
She continues to call out to the few, shouting with happy fists shaking in the air when someone does a perfect coast. One of the guys high fives her before running back out to do it again.   
  
“You’re really good at this,” says Siyeon hovering by her.   
  
“Correction. I’m the best.” And unapologetically confident. Bora turns to her. “How did you like it?”  
  
Siyeon looks from Bora who stands in the water up to their calves and out at the others. “I’m not afraid of wiping out and getting knocked unconscious with my board anymore.”  
  
“That can still happen.”  
  
“Please, don’t tell me that.”  
  
“You’ll be fine.” Bora slaps a hand on her shoulder “You have good form but you hesitate.”  
  
Siyeon purses her lips. She knows that. What gets her is that Bora was able to notice it.   
  
“Stop overthinking it.”  
  
“Thanks, coach.” Siyeon lifts a fist. Bora knocks hers into it. The last minutes of the lesson are up. “I guess I should give you your board back.”  
  
“Not yet. Wait here.”  
  
Bora steps out deeper into the water and waves everyone in. She dismisses the lesson and tells everyone interested that they can sign up at Tailfins to continue lessons and encourages the ones who just want to have fun to—  
  
“Keep riding those waves!”  
  
They laugh and high five. The group goes, splitting off as individuals and pairs. Only Siyeon is left, awkwardly wading in the water with her borrowed surfboard.   
  
“Let me see it.” Bora holds her arms out. Siyeon hands over the coral board. “Follow me.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Come on!” Bora bounds into the water. Siyeon hurries after her.   
  
They reach further out than they had during the lesson and Bora turns around to face the shore. More people have filtered onto the beach and the sun has risen higher, stealing away that hazy warm glow of morning and turning it into the sharp shine of a fast-approaching afternoon.   
  
“Lay down,” Bora instructs, holding the board steady.   
  
Siyeon climbs on. Once she’s situated, Bora gets on after, half of her body draped over Siyeon’s legs. “What are you—”  
  
“Paddle!”  
  
Siyeon paddles. Bora’s arms extend down on either of Siyeon’s sides to scoop water as well and they fall into a rhythm, rocketing forward.   
  
“Stand up!”  
  
She doesn’t know how she’s supposed to do that with Bora on her back but then weight lifts off and a hand taps the side of her ribs. Siyeon pushes up to wobbly legs. She feels her balance start to go when a hand folds around her waist.   
  
“Steady.”  
  
She stretches out her arms to even out. The water rushes beneath the board that teeters beneath her feet.   
  
“Siyeon.”  
  
She feels herself favoring one side and she tries to ease back when—  
  
A scream hits the air.   
  
Then Siyeon hits the water.   
  
It rushes past her ears and consumes her in shallow depths in a disorienting blur of blue and bubbles. Blinking against the water, she seeks out the glow of light and pushes up toward it.   
  
Siyeon gasps as she breaches the surface.   
  
“I got you,” comes Bora’s voice.   
  
Siyeon sputters.   
  
“Breathe, Siyeon. You’re okay.” Bora’s hands find her. “Come on.”  
  
She crawls up over the surfboard and flops halfway onto it, legs dangling over either side. Bora holds it steady where she’s still in the water submerged up to her shoulders.   
  
“Are you okay?” Bora eyes her in concern. It’s a new look on her.   
  
Siyeon takes a few moments to catch her breath and steady her heart. That was terrifying.   
  
“All I taste is salt,” she coughs. Her nose still stings.   
  
Some of the concern leaves Bora’s face at the response, tension easing when she notes Siyeon is fine. “I love the taste of sea salt in the morning.”  
  
“I think I’m going to be sick.”  
  
The board jostles as Bora climbs up to straddle back by the tail above Siyeon’s head. “Don’t be so dramatic.”  
  
A knuckle taps her forehead and Siyeon opens her eyes to find Bora staring down at her. In the sun, her hair is the shade of roasted almonds with hints of coppery gold. Water drips down from it and off the sharp slope of her nose. She’s smiling a fond smile. One that makes Siyeon feel the sun in her chest.   
  
“You didn’t do too bad, loner.” Fingers run across Siyeon’s neck, slinking wet strands of hair away from where they’ve matted under her chin. Bora’s fingers barely touch her but they register like the strike of matches.   
  
“Do I get an A-plus?”  
  
Bora’s nose scrunches on one side. “A-minus but only because I’m feeling generous.”  
  
“And if you weren’t?”  
  
“D.”  
  
Siyeon sucks in air through her teeth. “Ouch.”  
  
Bora gives that high, choppy laugh that Siyeon is starting to get used to. Fingers still linger around her neck, subconsciously feathering strokes against her pulse. It feels nice. With the warmth of the sun, the breeze cooling the water splashed on her skin, the ebb and flow of the waves beneath the board. It’s soothing.   
  
Eyes trail the run of Siyeon’s body as silence ticks. Bora isn’t shy about the fact she’s doing it. Her gaze sweeps and lingers in all the important places. Siyeon involuntarily flexes her abs. Bora bites her bottom lip in response.   
  
“Now what?” Siyeon asks, voice low against the ripple of waves.   
  
Bora finally reaches her stare again. “I have another group of lessons in thirty minutes.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Aww, is the wittle pup disappointed?”   
  
Siyeon swats away the fingers that pinch her nose. “Cut it out!”  
  
“If you don’t mind waiting, there’s a good food spot in town I know.”  
  
Siyeon cocks an eyebrow. “I thought you said you weren’t going to treat me to a meal.”  
  
“I’m not. You’re still paying.”  
  
Siyeon scoffs but agrees to come along. She can feel the hunger begin to churn in her belly that’s only had coffee and a banana.   
  
“Minji’s gonna be so jealous I got to take up all your time today.”  
  
Siyeon’s eyebrows pull in. She’s curious again. “How does that work?” she asks. She wants to flip over on the board so she’s not looking at Bora upside down but thinks better of it in case she accidentally flips them over. “You and her and...someone else? How did you realize that was something you wanted to do?”  
  
Bora hums as she takes a moment to think. “When we met, I was already seeing someone. We had a few differences when it came to the bedroom that they weren’t into doing—”  
  
“Oh my god.” Siyeon heats up. That’s not where she thought this would go.   
  
“Hey, you asked.” She did. Bora continues. “I asked if they were okay with me seeing someone else for that. Then I met Minji.” She shrugs as if it’s that easy. “It went from there.”  
  
“What happened to who you were with before?”  
  
“We fell out.” Bora‘s fingers trace a line up Siyeon’s nose and between her eyes where they fall off as if she realizes what she’s doing and decides to stop. “It wasn’t a bad breakup but we don’t talk anymore.”  
  
Siyeon just nods. It’s still weird. She can’t see herself having those sorts of conversations. Or so she thought. She’s having them with these two more or less.   
  
“Does Minji not…” Siyeon pauses as she searches for the right words to her question. “She didn’t make up for those differences?”  
  
“She did. More than.” The toothy grin Bora gives makes Siyeon want to know and not want to know at the same time. Makes warmth bubble in her stomach. “It was casual between us at first and Minji was fine with me seeing other people.” Bora chuckles. “I think I rubbed off on her. Or like her mother likes to say, corrupted her.”  
  
“I’m with her mom.” She earns another flick. Siyeon retaliates this time, going for two fingers in Bora’s nostrils but misses. “Has anyone ever been with both of you?”  
  
“Why? Are you interested?” Eyebrows wriggle.   
  
Siyeon’s entire body flushes. She’s still trying to wrap her head around the ethereal being that is Minji. She’s not sure she’s capable of taking on the lioness that is Bora yet.   
  
Yet?   
  
“You’re so adorable.” Bora tickles beneath Siyeon’s chin and she just accepts it. “Once or twice, there has. We take whoever comes into our lives seriously. If it doesn’t feel right, if one of us doesn’t feel right about someone the other is interested in, it’s not going to happen.”  
  
That’s comforting and very reasonable. Practical. The trust the two have in one another is admirable. That level of transparency and understanding is astonishing. Siyeon wonders how that is. How comfortable and settling that must be. It’s something she always thought she had with her best friend but the more time passed, the more she realized that wasn’t the case.   
  
“Ah.”  
  
“Still weird?” Bora peeks down at her.   
  
Siyeon’s nose scrunches. “A little.”  
  
“I did my best.” Bora looks up, surveying the coast. “I should get back. Bring the board in?”  
  
Water splashes as Bora jumps into it, swimming toward the shore until she can walk. Siyeon paddles with the board then does the same, placing it with Bora’s purple and navy tie-dye one in the sand.   
  
“Leave me your number,” says Bora. “I’ll let you know when I’m done here if you want to go change.”  
  
Siyeon fishes her phone from her bag and makes the exchange. She decides that Sexy Surf Queen is an acceptable name but deletes two of the three fire emoji Bora insists on using.   
  
“See you in an hour or so.” She sends Siyeon off with a butt tap and a laugh.   
  
Tank and shorts pulled back on, Siyeon finds her way to the truck wondering why it is she feels so much freer and comfortable here with people she’s only known a few weeks than she ever has at home.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
A horn sounds from outside. Siyeon skips out the door to find Bora waving out the side of the Jeep that idles in the drive. She insists on honking the horn on every other step Siyeon takes until she’s safely deposited in the passenger seat with her seatbelt locked into place.   
  
The weather is nice out, the sun a little higher than the earlier morning with a breeze that floats off the ocean. Siyeon relaxes in her seat, fear of tumbling out of the Jeep nearly gone though she does keep tabs on the safety bar above just in case.   
  
The drive is quick. Beach houses and spaced out residences give to a cluster of buildings. Shops and boutiques and restaurants. People mule about along the walkways and crisscrossing paths across the street between lulls in traffic. A motorbike zooms by, engine loud and rumbling. It reminds Siyeon of the night Minji took her out on the bike. Butterflies color the insides of her stomach and she hides her smile as she turns and climbs out of the Jeep where Bora parks them in a space off the street.  
  
The area looks familiar though Siyeon isn’t too sure. She lets her eyes sweep the buildings while Bora stretches her arms above her head. Being away from the water shrinks her. But maybe that’s because she’s not commanding on these grounds and the intimidation Siyeon felt when they were out in the waves dissipates like seafoam along the sand.  
  
“It’s this way,” says Bora. She’s still in her rashguard though she’s pulled on a pair of frayed denim shorts and a pair of vans that slap the pavement. Siyeon’s eyes wander to the flex of muscle at the back of her thighs. There’s a lot to marvel at for such a small person. “You’re not a picky eater are you?”  
  
“Hm?” Siyeon’s eyes flick up, catching Bora’s that peer back at her over a shoulder. She quickly shakes her head. “No, not really.”  
  
“Good. Picky eaters aren’t allowed in my presence.” Bora’s attention swings back around as she slows in front of their stop. It’s then that Siyeon realizes why this area looks familiar.   
  
Waves of memories hit Siyeon when she looks up at the restaurant. She recognizes the place instantly. The blue sign, the striped overhang above the door, the sun faded signs on the windows. The other eateries that flank it and stretch along the road, some with awnings over outdoor seated areas and motorbikes parked outside for deliveries.   
  
It’s a popular place from what Siyeon remembers. One of the few that’s open late into the night. The last time Siyeon was on the island, it became a frequent stop for her and the group she met and hung out with during that time. They’d spend hours at the beach or exploring until the sun was long gone and the night air made them hungry.   
  
Siyeon steps in after Bora. It’s small inside. Cozy. Warm brown woods and cream walls, low light, and dark tinted windows that fend off the sun. Music plays softly and a few people sit at tables that line windows and frame around a counter that doubles as a place to order on one side and a space to eat on the others   
  
Siyeon’s eyes drift to a corner in particular. A corner where they’d pull tables together to make one large seating space, sharing the dishes they ordered with one another. The boys would crack jokes while the girls laughed at their antics and shared crazy stories that had everyone howling. It was a good time.   
  
“There’s a variety here so there’s a chance you’ll find something you like,” Bora says but it’s background noise as Siyeon dips further into the past.   
  
She remembers being in one of those chairs, the girl she met that summer pressed close to her side. She remembers hands holding occasionally under the table, a leg rubbing against hers, sneaky caresses to her thigh, rubbing up and down the length of it, slowly inching along the soft, sensitive skin into dangerous territory before it would pull away.   
  
Siyeon’s heart races like it did then. Those times...those nights...they gave into moments beneath the awning of her beach house, hidden in the shadows of the old pickup, back pressed to the wall and lips at her neck, knee pushing her thighs apart to—  
  
“Do you know what you want to order?”  
  
Siyeon whips her neck around to Bora who stares up at her.   
  
“Oh.” Siyeon swallows, taking that second to bring herself back to the present. She doesn’t really need to look at the menu. She knows what her usual was and she sees it still on the board. “Yeah, I’m ready.”  
  
They order and find a table. Siyeon sips from a small glass of water she got from a dispenser near a little side dish bar. She can’t help but feel like she’s come full circle. Back in the place things started to shift within her. Back in this same place because of what that shift did to her. Ironic? She doesn’t know. But she can’t deny that she doesn’t feel those same sorts of stirrings she did back then. They’re different this time, however. Not so daunting. They whirl with excitement. With the desire to take them by the horns. To harness them. To finally allow them to be set free.   
  
“Hey.”  
  
Fingers snap in front of Siyeon’s face. She jumps and looks up to find Bora staring back at her. There’s a concerned wrinkle between her eyes. Eyes that are always sharp and attentive.   
  
“Sorry,” Siyeon offers.   
  
“I didn’t think you hit the water that hard this morning but now I’m starting to worry.”  
  
Siyeon shakes her head and pushes on a smile. “My head is fine.”  
  
“Debatable.” Bora smirks.   
  
Siyeon gives a reassuring smile but it’s not until their food comes that Bora stops eyeing her.   
  
The meat and vegetables sizzle in delicious aromas. There’s not much conversation to be had as they start to eat. Bora is hardly as poised in her eating than she is atop a board. A little messy and loud. It helps Siyeon relax.   
  
“What other good spots do you know?” asks Siyeon once they’re both halfway into their plates. They’ve both slowed down having nearly reached capacity but Siyeon is determined to finish it all. As if devouring every last bit will curb the tugs of the past. As if it will fill up the spaces that she longs.  
  
Bora shrugs as she chews before washing it down with a drink of water. “I know a lot. I could probably draw you a map.”  
  
“Have you always lived here?”   
  
“Born and raised.” She sucks at her teeth, tongue gliding across the top row to dislodge any possible veggies.   
  
“Have you ever wanted to live somewhere else?”  
  
Bora lifts an eyebrow before she lifts her head fully to look right at Siyeon. The way she does it makes Siyeon feel like she can read her thoughts. “I’ve thought about it but I love it here. My parents are here.”  
  
“What do they do?”  
  
“Omma was a pageant queen in her prime and appa was a contractor until an accident on one of the sites. He spends more time in a wheelchair now but that won’t stop him from telling you how he and his dad built half the island with his bare hands.”  
  
Siyeon smiles at that and the way Bora’s eyes shine as she talks about her parents. It softens her. It’s apparent that she’s fond of them.   
  
“They’re into health and wellness now. Mainly for the elderly,” Bora goes on. “They run a tea farm in the country where they make herbal teas with natural supplements that aren’t so hard on the body and keep it cost-effective for the local villagers to be able to purchase. They grow and sell a few select vegetables, too, but they’re known for their teas.”  
  
“Oh, wow.” Siyeon blinks, genuinely impressed.   
  
“Wow is right.” Bora laughs. “Other than that, they do a lot of volunteer community work. You can’t keep them inside. They’re always going somewhere or doing something.”  
  
Bora rolls her eyes but it’s in love. Siyeon laughs. She thinks of her own parents. How hard they worked when she was younger to get their business going and how they live, eat, and breathe the restaurant.   
  
Guilt bites at her at that. They’re so proud of what they have. So expectant and hopeful for the future of what started as a dream and blossomed into a reality that Siyeon was born into.   
  
She shakes off the feeling as good as she can.   
  
“They sound like a lot of fun,” says Siyeon. She takes a small bite to cloak the way her voice has gotten soft.   
  
“They would have to be to birth a daughter like me.”   
  
Siyeon snorts at Bora’s hair flip.   
  
“Minji tells me your family owns a restaurant.” Elbows hit the table as Bora leans forward.   
  
Siyeon nods and sits back. “It’s where I work.”  
  
“Listen, there can only be one ace cook in this relationship. You’re going to have to find another gig.”  
  
The word ‘relationship’ catches Siyeon off guard. She knows it’s only meant to fit into the joke but her mind jumps to ideas. To fantasies. She tries not to let it but they hit her in little flashes. Little moments of not being a stranger to Minji but someone a little more permanent. Where the inside of her house isn’t just a visiting ground but a constant. Where Bora is close by with her teasing. Where Siyeon fits into a routine that weaves through and around the other two. Simple and sweet.   
  
She has never had such a thought before. Nothing ever concerning two people. Definitely not two strangers. It catches her off guard.   
  
“I’m only good at making what's on the menu,” Siyeon speaks before her brain can do any more damage. That’s not a thing. This is only a vacation. Minji is a new adventure, and Bora is a budding friend. That’s all. “Apparently, I used to mumble recipes in my sleep.” So said her best friend. “Outside of the restaurant, anything I make is a travesty.”  
  
“I guess we’ll keep you out of the kitchen then.”  
  
There it is again. That toss to an ‘us’. A _we._ A place of belonging.   
  
Siyeon’s thoughts drift past Bora and Minji and back to the restaurant that surrounds them. To the old memories she made inside to the ones created outside. The ones that bring back the itch. The one at the center of her back that she just can’t reach. At least not alone. She needs someone else.   
  
“Oh, look, there’s unnie!” Someone yells over the chatter and music. It’s a familiar voice though Siyeon can’t quite pin it.   
  
Bora perks up and waves at someone out of sight. Siyeon turns to find Gahyeon and Yubin walking their way. Bora gets up to squeeze Gahyeon tight then offers a hug to Yubin.   
  
“Hey, again,” Gahyeon says to Siyeon. Her pink hair is long, draping over her shoulders. Parts are starting to turn blonde but it doesn’t look bad. “Looks like you got sucked into trouble,” she teases.   
  
“I’m no more trouble than you are,” Bora shoots back.   
  
Gahyeon sticks out her tongue at her. “I’m Gahyeon,” she introduces to Siyeon. “This is Yubin.”  
  
“Siyeon,” she says, trying not to look as uncomfortable as she feels. She’s waiting for Yubin to point out that she already knows her but she just offers a light smile and a,  
  
“Nice to meet you.”  
  
Siyeon relaxes. She wonders if Yubin even remembers that night. Siyeon certainly does. Even so, she’s grateful that the girl doesn’t make a hint of it.   
  
“Where’s unnie?” asks Gahyeon, sneakily reaching for something on Bora’s plate. She earns a swift smack on the back of her hand that she jerks back, pouting while Yubin laughs at the exchange.   
  
Picking up her chopsticks, Bora lifts a piece of meat and offers it up. “At the center mostly these days.”  
  
Gahyeon accepts the morsel and chews excitedly before hanging her mouth open like an expecting baby bird. Bora rolls her eyes but gives her one more bite.   
  
“They’ve been working her hard lately,” Yubin comments, leading the three into a short round of talks.  
  
Siyeon listens as she nibbles on her own food. She gathers quickly that all of them are close. Comfortably so. They banter and joke with ease and pass information that only ones who have known each other for a long time would know. Normally Siyeon would feel out of place but she doesn’t. Not quite. Bora keeps glancing over at her while she speaks to keep Siyeon engaged even if she can’t comment on much of what they’re saying while Gahyeon nudges her in the shoulder whenever she laughs at something funny so she knows it’s okay to laugh, too.   
  
They oddly remind Siyeon of the group she ran with on the island all those years ago. Except more grounded. Not as rowdy. Much older. One of the things Siyeon missed whenever vacations were over and they’d return to the mainland were the people she met. She always felt a little more connected to the strangers here than the faces she’d known for ages back home. She had never had a large circle. Her best friend was her main, her one and only with the occasional others they picked up along the way who came and went.  
  
But it was nothing like this. Part of Siyeon aches for it.   
  
“Do you have any big plans coming up?” asks Gahyeon.   
  
The question draws Siyeon’s focus back on the conversation at hand.   
  
Bora shakes her head. “None that I can’t cancel. Why?”  
  
“I was thinking about taking the boat out soon,” says Yubin. “We could spend a day or two at The Hanger.”  
  
“Hell, yes!” Bora lights up. Apparently, it's been a long time since they’ve gone out on Yubin’s boat and the weather is predicted to be perfect for it during the time they want to go. “I’ll let Minji know. She’ll definitely want to do it.”  
  
“You come, too, Siyeon,” Gahyeon pipes.   
  
Siyeon shifts under the pairs of eyes that suddenly turn to her. “Oh. No. I wouldn’t want to intrude.”  
  
_“Please.”_ Bora blows air past her lips. “The boat is big enough for all of us.”  
  
“It’s not like any boat you’ve ever seen,” says Gahyeon.   
  
“It’s a really cool boat,” Bora follows.   
  
Gahyeon nods. “You’d love the boat.”  
  
Siyeon presses her fingers to her temples. “Please, stop saying boat.”   
  
The three laugh. An elbow knocked into her arm by Gahyeon jostles a grin out of her and Siyeon suddenly doesn’t feel too much like an outsider anymore.   
  
“You should come,” says Yubin.   
  
There’s something different about Yubin’s invitation. It’s reassuring and so Siyeon offers a, “I’ll think about it.”  
  
Yubin nods. “Let me know so I can prep,” she says to Bora and Siyeon before pulling away from the table with Gahyeon to head for the counter to order.   
  
“You’re coming on the boat,” says Bora, chopsticks pointed at her.   
  
“Why does that sound so threatening?”  
  
“Maybe it is.”  
  
Taking care of their trays, they head out with one last goodbye to the others. It’s warmed up a lot more outside though it’s not too hot. It’s more sticky than anything. Siyeon ties her hair up to get it off of her neck. Beside her, Bora’s phone rings. The device pulls from her back pocket to a video call notification. She answers and Minji’s face fills up the screen.   
  
“Hi, baby,” Minji greets. Her voice is soft and a little tired.  
  
“Hey! Look who I found.” Bora turns the camera toward Siyeon.   
  
“Oh!” Minji laughs, eyes creasing behind a pair of specs as she smiles. “Hi.”   
  
Siyeon wonders how such a simple word can create so many butterflies. “Hi.”  
  
“Keeping my little chick company today?”  
  
“I can’t say if I’m enjoying it,” Siyeon digs.   
  
Bora shoves her out of frame. “Anyway!” She orients the camera back to her while Siyeon recovers and Minji’s laugh blares from the speakers. “What’s up?”  
  
Siyeon overhears Minji tell Bora she won’t be back until late but will make sure not to miss the last bus home.   
  
“Yubin invited us all out on the boat,” Bora tells her.   
  
Minji gives an excited gasp, hands clapping happily. “When? I can ask for those days off now.”  
  
Now Siyeon is really curious about this boat and what makes it so amazing. She isn’t sure what a place that’s called The Hanger can hold other than danger, but the more she hears the excitement in both Minji and Bora’s voices about this pending trip, it’s infectious enough for her to forget about being awkward and uncertain about joining them.   
  
“Here.”  
  
There’s a phone suddenly shoved into her face. Bora let’s go, giving Siyeon only a second to grab it before it can drop and crack on the pavement. She fumbles.   
  
“Hello?”  
  
“Hi, again,” Minji greets. Siyeon gets a better look at her this time. She looks professional in a button-down and her hair pulled up with bangs across her forehead. “It’s nice to see your face.”  
  
Bora snorts next to her. Siyeon really doesn’t know what to make of this situation.   
  
“Uh, yours, too?”  
  
“Give me a break,” Bora grumbles.   
  
This time Siyeon shoves her. Bora cackles as she flies halfway across the sidewalk.   
  
“I didn’t need anything,” says Minji. “I just wanted to see you since I’m not sure if I’ll be able to until this weekend.”  
  
Siyeon frowns at that. It’s been a while since they hung out in person. Even if they text and call, it’s not the same. Being in Minji’s presence has a different kind of effect.   
  
“Don’t worry. You’ll get more of me than you’ll know what to do with on that trip.” Minji winks.   
  
Siyeon’s ears tint. She fumbles through a goodbye and passes the phone back to Bora who hangs up and pockets the phone. There’s a wide smile on her face. Siyeon stiffens.   
  
“What?”  
  
“You’re cute.”  
  
Siyeon ducks away from the hand that insists on ruffling her hair. She doesn’t mind it really but she be damned if she gives Bora all the satisfaction of successfully teasing her.   
  
“Should I drop you back at the beach house?”  
  
Siyeon thinks. She doesn’t really want to be back there right now. Not yet. There’s something pulling at her that she can’t ignore.   
  
“I think I’ll look around some more. Maybe do a little exploring?”  
  
Bora nods. “I’ll let Yubin know you’re in for the trip,” she tells Siyeon before they part ways.   
  
The Jeep revs. Siyeon gives a wave as Bora drives off leaving her alone. Once she’s out of sight, Siyeon turns the opposite way and starts walking.   
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Memories take her away from crowds and residences and businesses to a long stretch of road where the sea air hits hard and the waves are audible.   
  
She isn’t too sure where she’s headed until the road narrows and she’s trailing the shoreline again. It’s an old route walked once on tired legs, howling cackles at the moon with a pack that surrounded her, shoulders occasionally bumping whoever was next to her and an arm draping over her shoulder as if it wasn’t sticky out and they weren’t a mess of salt embedded into pores and sweat.  
  
The hazy view of a pier in the distance sharpens as Siyeon grows closer. The sight of it churns up the same feeling as meeting an old, forgotten friend. Feelings that make you want to draw back all that was lost and experience again. It’s something stronger than nostalgia. It’s a craving for something. A deep need. A want for something that’s right there but just out of reach.   
  
The wood creaks as Siyeon walks out over the water that sloshes around the beams beneath that hold up the platform. Sinking down, she sits on the edge of the pier, feet dangling.   
  
It’s quiet.   
  
It reminds her of things that clash together in a strange mix of exhilaration and nerves. Two faces pop up and Siyeon bites her lip as she recalls what each one brought her.   
  
From the first—  
  
Siyeon can taste her name on her tongue. A name she doesn’t think she’ll ever forget. The spark. The catalyst. The one who poised two fingers beneath Siyeon’s chin, turned her so dark eyes met, and kissed her. Right here. The one who unlocked the first bolt, made Siyeon realize that this was what she was missing all along. Soft cheeks instead of scruffy. High, whining voices instead of low and grumbling. Fierce bites and not quite gentle caresses. Adventure. Liveliness. An extension beyond herself and what she had known.   
  
To the one between—  
  
A familiar face. A warmth always by her side. Like a lantern. The trickle of a river spread before them from on top of a bridge, the taste of green apple soju on the back of tongues, and the energy buzzing in veins from a night out. The way eyes soft and curious looked at her and lips moved, posing a question Siyeon didn’t think she would ever hear from her—from her best friend. A question that led to crumbled sheets and the starting lines of mapped skin beneath her fingertips. To disaster. To distraction. To another new journey.  
  
And finally the now—  
  
A mystery with sweet eye smiles and draped in violet paired with a flame fearful of nothing with a mouth that holds nothing back.   
  
Siyeon gets one of those now things late Friday evening back in the beach house tucked away by herself with only her memories and her wonderings and her achings once again.  
  
A laundry basket sits by the couch of newly folded items while Siyeon surfs through shows to watch on the flatscreen. The days have been quiet since she left Bora at the restaurant. At least on the outside. Inside, she’s been a storm brewing. Restless.  
  
A knock sounds off the door that makes Siyeon jump in her sweatpants and a t-shirt. She almost doesn’t answer it. It isn’t like she’s expecting anyone. Another, harder, knock draws her to her feet. It could be a patroller doing a round of checks to make sure there’s a reason for the windows to glow and the porch light to be on.   
  
Undoing the bolt, Siyeon pulls open the door. Eyes crease as a smile pulls across Minji’s face lit up by the porch light. Her hair is in a loose ponytail that falls over one shoulder, ends tickling the lapels of a leather jacket.   
  
“Hey?” Siyeon didn't mean for it to be a question but she wasn’t expecting a visit.   
  
“Hi,” Minji greets, a smile stretching wider. She leans in and touches a quick peck to the corner of Siyeon’s mouth. It registers slowly and the blush that forms across Siyeon’s neck takes its time leaking into her cheeks. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping by unexpected.” Minji lifts a hand to show a six-pack hanging off her fingers. In the other is a paper bag. The kind you get when you order take out. “I thought we could have a night.”  
  
Siyeon finally drags her eyes from the way Minji’s eyes glitter in the dingy, yellow bulb. She wonders if anything can make this woman look bad.   
  
“If it’s not too late…” Minji continues on, a hint of worry creating a pout on her lips when Siyeon doesn’t answer immediately.   
  
“Oh. Yeah! I mean, no. It’s not too late.” Siyeon steps back. “Come in.”  
  
Minji steps over the threshold. Siyeon shuts and locks the door behind her and looks down at herself. She’s glad she chose the good sweats and the t-shirt that hasn't faded too many shades in the wash.   
  
“I’ve been so busy lately, I wasn’t sure when we could hang out next. I ended up leaving the center sooner than expected this evening and I was a little impatient to wait another day,” Minji says as Siyeon leads her over to the breakfast bar where she sets down the drinks and food onto the countertop. Eyes sweep across the room in a quick once over, taking in everything that is immediately ready. “Cute place!”  
  
“Uh, thanks?”  
  
“When I was little,” Minji muses as she slinks onto one of the stools, “we would go down to this vacation home in New Zealand. I didn’t know at the time that the reason we went was because of my dad’s annual business trip. Taking us along with him was his way of compensating for the other days he spent more in an office than home.” Minji pauses to smirk. “Hardly saw him those fourteen days either.”  
  
Siyeon blinks. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react to that.”  
  
Minji laughs, light and carefree. “What I mean to say is, New Zealand is pretty and the vacation home was basically a mansion, but I like it here better. It’s cozy.”  
  
The story makes Siyeon curious. “Where else have you been?”  
  
“Oh, here and there.” Minji shrugs. Unlike most who are excited to tell tales of their adventures, she hardly sounds pleased. “I’ve seen a lot and very little at the same time. Me and my brother would tag along on business trips when we could. I know how to tell a true five-star hotel from the fake ones just by the smell of the cleaner used. Since my appa was busy, he’d hand off his credit card and tell us not to get into trouble. We would wander around whatever city we were in until our legs couldn’t take it anymore.”  
  
Siyeon leans on the counter on the opposite side of the bar intrigued. “I didn’t know you had a brother.” Just one of many things she doesn’t know about Minji.   
  
“He’s the only one I keep in contact with now.”  
  
Siyeon hums a response unsure of what to say to that either but echoes the warm smile Minji gives at mentions of her sibling.   
  
“Anyway!” Minji claps her hands together. “I hope you’re hungry.”  
  
The bag crinkles as Minji opens it up and pulls out the contents. It’s poke bowls. They smell delicious. Siyeon’s stomach growls at the sight and her mouth waters at the smell. Realization hits her then that she hasn’t eaten since late morning. She’d been so caught up in her head she forgot the more important things. Like food.   
  
Siyeon licks her lips. “You keep spoiling me with food.”  
  
“Food is the number one thing in life. Of course, I’m going to spoil.”  
  
Food spreads across the breakfast bar and Siyeon grabs bottles of water before she rounds to take a stool beside Minji. The food is good. It’s no surprise. She’ll have to ask Minji where she got it from later.   
  
“How do you like it?” asks Minji as she pops open a can. Mouth full, Siyeon gives two thumbs up, humming her satisfaction. “Glad you like it. It’s one of my favorite places. I’d eat these bowls every day if I could.”  
  
“Why can’t you?”  
  
“Bora starts teasing me.”  
  
Siyeon laughs and takes a gulp of water while Minji sips from her can. Arm extending, she clinks the can against Siyeon’s water bottle in an impromptu toast.   
  
“To new friends,” she says.  
  
Siyeon snorts. “Cheers.”  
  
It’s so ridiculous that they both end up laughing after taking drinks but it feels nice. Siyeon can’t remember the last time she felt at ease. The last time she was able to just be silly and cheesy and have a good time with someone else without worrying. She thinks that maybe there had always been a ticking time bomb between her and her best friend. At least, ever since that one night. They were playing dangerous games. It was only a matter of time before someone got hurt   
  
The mood in her suddenly shifts and Siyeon takes a bite of food, hoping the flavors will perk her back up. Her eyes drift over to Minji who chews happily. She makes small noises of enjoyment as she eats. Little hums and mmm’s on some bites and swallows. She looks so content. She looks so happy. Siyeon thinks back to what Minji said about her father and her brother and wonders more about her family.   
  
“Do you see them anymore?” Siyeon asks. Minji lifts her eyebrows in question. “Your family,” she clarifies. “You said that your brother is the only one you keep in contact with now.”  
  
“That’s right,” Minji says through a mouthful. She waits to chase it all down with a drink before continuing. “It was around the time that I started visiting Jeju and met Bora. My decision to work on the island was the first thing that created a rift between us. I ended up moving out of our estate—”  
  
“Estate?” Siyeon balks.   
  
Minji winces. “I guess I didn’t mention that I come from a very affluent family.” Her voice gets a fraction smaller. “And _maybe_ you know the company we own. It’s a well-known name connected to some well-known brands.”  
  
Siyeon’s lips part in surprise. She should’ve guessed it from the mentions of New Zealand and business trips and mansions earlier but hearing it right out takes her aback. “Oh, wow.” She debates asking for the name but thinks otherwise. It’s not important and if Minji wanted her to know she’d tell her. “I’m recovered now. Go on.”  
  
Minji flashes a grin then continues. “I got an apartment by myself. It was small. I knew I wasn’t going to stay in Seoul much longer. When I finally told them about Bora a while later, that’s when we cut our ties. It didn’t look good for appa and the company, having a”—she lifts her fingers in quotation marks—“disgraceful daughter.” She rolls her eyes. “And my omma couldn’t stand to even look at me. My brother is the one who helped me pack and saw me off at the airport. He was even the only one at my graduation. We make sure to call each other on our birthdays and every holiday. He fills me in on how things are going and I bore him about coral.”  
  
Siyeon smiles because Minji does but it’s short-lived. It’s not a happy story despite the easy way Minji tells it.   
  
“How...how did you handle that?”  
  
“Not well.” Minji laughs but it’s strained. “As much as I wanted to get away, it was hard. I went from living comfortably to nothing. I had to build myself from the ground up with what money I had since I was no longer allowed access to my family's wealth.” She pauses with a thoughtful hum. “I don’t know if that part bothered me as much. I had already gotten stable working here and Bora was very understanding and supportive. I moved in with her and things slowly started to look up after that.”  
  
Siyeon nods in response as she muses. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”  
  
Minji shakes her head. “Don’t feel bad. It’s better this way.” She offers a smile. A genuine one to know she means it.   
  
Siyeon accepts what Minji says and tries to think of what it would feel like to get disowned by your entire family. It’s not a new thought. She knows they never would but she knows that she can disappoint them. Maybe that’s even worse. Maybe that’s why she just grit her teeth and bore the fact she’d be following what they expected from her once they were much older and ready to retire.   
  
It’s a painful thought though it doesn’t sting as much as it used to. If Minji could bounce back from that, Siyeon could pull herself up, too. And what if that’s not what they expect from her? What if she’s been the one landlocking herself this entire time?  
  
“I’m stuffed.” Minji rubs at her stomach. “Do you mind if we move to the couch?”  
  
They grab the rest of the six-pack and venture across the room. Siyeon drops onto the sofa, back leaning on the armrest while Minji lounges in the middle, head draped against the back.   
  
“I don’t think I’ll be hungry again for days.”  
  
Siyeon agrees. “You’ll have to give me the number to the place you got the food from.”  
  
“I will, but be warned.” Minji’s head lulls to look at Siyeon. “Consuming anything from them runs the risk of ending up in a food coma.”  
  
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”  
  
“You’re right, it doesn’t.”   
  
Sitting up, Minji reaches for one of the cans that Siyeon placed on the coffee table. She offers it to Siyeon before grabbing another for herself. The tab pops open and Siyeon does the same. It’s not a brand of beer she knows but it’s good once she gets past the initial newness of the flavor. She takes a few more shallow sips before swallowing a full.   
  
“What now?” asks Minji, licking her lips. She turns so her body faces Siyeon, legs drawn up under her, and settles in a way that’s familiar. As if they always do this.   
  
“I don’t know.” Siyeon’s eyes drift across the room. They could watch something but she’s not sure she wants to. She wants to keep talking.   
  
Her gaze finds the windows that peer out across the ocean against a backdrop of navy that twinkles with stars like glitter. Siyeon’s chest clenches when she thinks about how this view is one she shared with _her._ One of the things her best friend loved to do when she came along, well after nightfall, tugging the blankets off the bed so they could be comfortable while they looked up at the sky stretched out on the lawn.   
  
“There you go again.”  
  
Siyeon blinks. Her vision refocuses back to Minji who’s looking straight at her, an upward kink at the corner of her mouth.   
  
“You’re a wanderer, aren’t you?” Minji’s voice is gentle. Possibly a little teasing but also curious. “Always drifting.”  
  
Siyeon didn’t think so but maybe more lately than usual. Being left alone with nothing else to fill up the silence allowed her to get lost in things she hasn’t sat on before. Or rather plunge deeper into them. The past few days have been full of moments of reflection—dives into the further recesses of her mind. It makes her feel far too palpable. Too open. Spongy. Like just the slightest squeeze will cause all of her hidden bits to leak out.   
  
“Sorry,” she offers and shifts where she sits. The couch feels a little uncomfortable. Siyeon wants to sit on top of the grass, feel the dirt beneath her palms. The breeze. She wants to taste laughter and breathe in eye smiles from a face that has given her nothing but frowns and emptiness for days. Upon days. It hurts. “I was just thinking…” she trails off. No, not again. “Never mind.”  
  
Minji gives a long hum. The kind you do when you already know what you’re going to say or ask but give a moment to stall. As if she’s allowing Siyeon to prepare for her to say, “Tell me about her.”  
  
“Who?” Though Siyeon already knows.   
  
“Your best friend.”  
  
Her chest tightens. She takes a long, deep drink, realizes she has downed half the entire thing already. “What about her?”  
  
“Let’s start with her name.”  
  
“Yoohyeon.” It comes out without struggle but leaves a stickiness in her mouth. A tightness in her throat. A sip of her drink doesn’t take it away and Siyeon is left with a bittersweet aftertaste that lingers too strongly.   
  
Minji’s head tilts to lean against her fist, elbow propped against the back of the couch and shoulders squared in Siyeon’s direction. “What happened between you and Yoohyeon?”  
  
God. There’s that squeeze. She can’t hold it in.   
  
“We…” Siyeon‘s lip pulls between her teeth. She chews on it for a moment. “To tell you about that, I have to tell you about someone else first.”  
  
Minji’s brow creases. She blinks a slow blink. Her lids are heavy from the alcohol but her eyes are wide and her focus is tight. “Okay.”  
  
Siyeon finishes off her drink. She holds the can between crossed legs, fingers idly playing with the tab. The action helps to ground her. Helps to filter the nerves and the tension into something while she pulls up the weeds of her past to expose the roots.   
  
“The last time I was here, I met someone,” she begins. “Her name was Handong.” And Siyeon will never forget it.   
  
Handong and her family were visiting from China, residence taken up in the beach house next door for a few weeks. There were a lot of visitors that summer, and though Siyeon had often made brief acquaintances with others on previous visits, the group she found during that particular summer stuck like the sort of gang you would’ve grown up with.   
  
“We’d play games on the shoreline or plan a trip to the beach and go swimming.” She can’t keep the smile out of her voice as she reminisces on those days. “No one cared that we just met. We were a rowdy group.”  
  
Minji smiles and nods when Siyeon brings her eyes to hers. It’s reassuring and encourages her to continue.   
  
“I spent most of my time with Handong. She was quiet when we were in the group together but when we were alone, it was like she really came alive. We’d sneak out and go swimming or sit on the edge, or go to the pier and skip rocks. We got close and I started to look for her every morning. We’d spend the entire day together if we could.”  
  
Siyeon doesn’t remember a day she didn’t see Handong. Even for the shortest of moments. They always greeted one another or tried to capture a moment or two before their parents called them in.   
  
“One night when the group snuck to a restricted part of the beach, we got separated from them. Handong suggested we look for seashells or something. She grabbed my hand and we ended up just walking along the coast holding hands and talking.”   
  
Siyeon blushes though she doesn’t say why it is that she does. She can’t bring herself to mention how she liked the way Handong’s hand felt in hers. How she liked the way the moonlight looked reflected off Handong’s eyes. How she liked the way Handong’s fingers felt combing through her hair from where Siyeon would make herself comfortable lying in her lap.   
  
“We ended up on the pier.” The blush gives into flutters in Siyeon’s chest. “It was so late. We were so tired from walking all day. I told her we should probably find the others and go back and she said—“  
  
_“I like you, Siyeon.”_  
  
It stunned her on the spot but it didn’t stop Siyeon from saying it back. From letting, _“I like you, too,”_ fall off her lips. She still isn’t sure why she said it. Maybe it was the look in Handong’s eyes. She had the kind of gaze that begged for the truth. The kind of stare that you figured could already see into the secrets at your depths so why try and deny them.   
  
“Then she kissed me.” Siyeon laughs to herself. A nervous giddy laugh.  
  
Minji’s lips split into a grin. “Bold.”  
  
“I'd never kissed a girl before.” And what a rush it was. “I’d wanted to. We kissed for what felt like hours. Eventually, one of the others came looking for us and we went home.”  
  
“That must’ve been a really great night.”  
  
Siyeon nods. “It was. We...” she rubs the back of her neck suddenly bashful. “After that, we would ditch the group to hang out together. Either at her beach house or mine.”  
  
Those times would be filled with less talking and more kissing. So much kissing. Siyeon got full-on Handong’s lips and drunk off her tongue. She knew the pressure, the taste, the fullness, the shape, the softness. She’d go home and lie in bed with her head full of those lips. Of Handong’s hands on her cheek or on her neck. Of her warmth pressed up against her.   
  
“Then one night we had a bonfire,” Siyeon goes on. Her tone softens as her stomach tightens. “We bought sparklers and we ran around with them until they burnt out. After a while, I got tired and climbed into the bed of our truck. It wasn’t long before Handong found me and got in.” Her brow creases. “There was something different about her that night. We held hands and she’d sneak kisses on my cheek and my neck. I remember being so scared someone would see us but I didn’t want her to stop.”  
  
Even if there were parents not that far away conversing as the grill burned with meats and kids stuffed their faces with wraps chased down with cola. She wanted more and more and more.  
  
And she got more.   
  
_“You make me feel like that fire, Lee Siyeon,”_ Handong whispered into her ear with a hand slipped beneath her shirt that settled over her chest, cupping her perfectly.   
  
That’s when something snapped in Siyeon. When something fully awakened.   
  
“I pulled her into a kiss and she pushed me down into the bed. We’d never made out like that before. It was so intense. Her hands were all over me and then they pinned my wrists down and I— I...”  
  
“You?”  
  
“Liked it.” Saying that was like letting go of a weight. It felt nice. Speaking it out loud. “And I liked the way her hips started to move on me. I knew what she was doing but I couldn’t believe it. I was mesmerized?” She smiles. Not a smile she’s familiar with. It’s a little wicked. “The closer she got, the tighter she held my wrists. She was moaning and whimpering and I felt myself get wet just at the sounds. When she was done, she laid on her back beside me. We didn’t move or talk for a long time. Not until someone came over and told us it was time to clean and Handong went home.”  
  
“Was that it?”  
  
Siyeon turns her eyes from where they’re trained on nowhere in particular. Minji’s bottom lip slides out from where she was holding it between her teeth. Her pupils are wider than before. Siyeon isn’t sure if it’s the alcohol or the story. Maybe both. Whatever it is, she looks tauntingly kissable and her cheeks are flushed.   
  
“It…” Siyeon’s voice cracks. Her heart hammers. She can see the way Minji’s hand is tight around her can. It matches the coils that have wound up in Siyeon and she pulses. She settles on shaking her head in reply.   
  
“What happened then?”  
  
“A few days passed. We didn’t talk. I got annoyed so I went over. Her parents knew me so they let me in. I asked her why she was ignoring me and why she hadn’t talked to me. She said—”  
  
_“because I don’t just want to talk to you.”_  
  
Siyeon shivers. Across from her, Minji draws in a raspy breath.   
  
“I was the one who kissed her then,” Siyeon admits. “Everything erupted again like it did in the truck. We didn’t touch each other like that but her thigh...it was good enough. She had to kiss me to keep me quiet but it was so hard. I’d never felt like that before.”  
  
Unhinged. Unrestrained. Open. Alive.   
  
Siyeon remembers leaving the marks of her teeth in Handong’s shoulder and scratches across her back. She couldn’t believe _she_ had done that. But Handong didn’t mind. She liked it. Siyeon liked it.   
  
“We hooked up a few more times that way until the end of her stay. On the last night before she left, she came to my beach house.”  
  
Handong didn’t say much when she entered Siyeon’s room. She simply pushed her back, pulled her shorts off along with everything underneath.   
  
“She ate me until I came.” Siyeon brings her eyes to Minji. “I’ve never seen her again.”  
  
“Wow.”  
  
Static. There’s so much static. The air around them feels fuzzy. Thick. Heavy. Siyeon stretches her arm out to discard the empty can on the coffee table. Each move she makes, she can feel Minji watching her. Examining her. It makes Siyeon tingle.   
  
“That...is a story.” Minji drops her arm off the backrest and leans her head against the couch. Her hair falls over her face and she brushes it out of her lashes. “How does your best friend tie into this?”  
  
“When I got back, I guess I was different,” Siyeon tells her because that’s what Yoohyeon said to her.   
  
_“You’re different.”_ Her nose wrinkled like a puppy catching the scents of a foreign place off their owner who’s returned from a faraway trip.   
  
Siyeon waved it off. She didn’t tell Yoohyeon much about the vacation. She didn’t know how. She didn’t know if she could. The tales she had, the stories created behind closed doors with a stranger, were dangerous. Forbidden. She couldn’t speak them aloud but she thought about them.   
  
Her head was full of Handong. Of the marks that were left on her. The ones Siyeon touched at night while she was in her bed, stunned that such a thing had transpired. It was so surreal. It couldn’t be real.   
  
But soon she gained the confidence. Or rather she couldn’t stand it anymore. She couldn’t hold it in. She had to tell someone if only to solidify that she wasn’t making it up.   
  
“Eventually, I told her about it. She got weird so I never mentioned it again.”  
  
Siyeon remembers the way Yoohyeon got quiet. The way she didn’t ask questions like she normally did with anything. She hardly looked Siyeon in the eye the rest of that night. She thought they were done with it.   
  
“A few years later when we were out,” Siyeon continues, brow creasing as she recalls that evening, “Yoohyeon brought it up. We’d been drinking and it loosened her up, I guess. She asked me what it was like to be with Handong. I couldn’t really explain so she asked me to show her.” Saying it out loud makes it sound silly. Like some scene you’d read in a racy FanFiction that’s trying to force plot into what is meant only to be a salacious read. “If I wasn’t drunk, maybe it wouldn’t have happened.”  
  
“You don’t know that.”  
  
Siyeon shrugs. She doesn’t know, it’s true. Somehow, she thinks that eventually, it would’ve happened anyway.   
  
“We started sleeping together,” she admits, voice quieter. “It wasn’t like it was with Handong. But I wanted it to be. After a few months, I tried it. Yoohyeon wasn’t sure at first but I got her to do a few things…” Siyeon winces. She can’t bring herself to fully explain. “You can see where this is going.” She looks to Minji for reassurance.   
  
Minji nods. “I think I do.”  
  
“The night I messed up, I...put my hands on her neck.”  
  
A gasp cuts the air. “Oh, no.”  
  
“I wasn’t thinking,” Siyeon rushes to say. Everything she says next comes out in a hurried jumble. “She was there under me and I just acted. At first, I think it was okay. I wasn’t doing anything. My hand was just there. But when it started to tighten...”  
  
_“Siyeon, what the hell?”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
“I told you I didn’t like that kind of thing.”  
  
“I know. I know you did, and I’m sorry.”  
  
“Are you? Because no matter how much I keep pushing back, you keep trying to push me forward.”  
  
“I didn’t know. I didn’t realize—”  
  
“Yes, you did.”  
  
“Yoo—”  
  
“No. Don’t. Please. Just leave me alone.”  
  
“Wait. Let’s talk about this. Please?”  
  
“Not tonight, Siyeon. I just...I need some space.”_  
  
Siyeon pinches her eyes shut. Fingers squeeze the bridge of her nose. She hates that night. Really hates it. She hates the betrayal she saw on Yoohyeon’s face. The fear in her eyes. The anger twisted on her lips. She had never seen Yoohyeon like that before.   
  
“She didn’t talk to me for a week.” She sighs, hand dropping down into her lap. Her hands are clammy. Her muscles are so tight it starts to ache. “She even took off from the restaurant. When she came back, she asked my parents to change her shifts so we were either not working at the same time or in the same area. She told them it was because her class schedule had changed some and needed to work around it.   
  
“I tried my best to stay out of her way but I guess that wasn’t enough. A few weeks later, my parents asked me why Yoohyeon suddenly put in her two weeks and I freaked. The next day she came in, I begged her not to quit. I knew she needed the job to pay for tuition and I didn’t want her to be put out because of something stupid I did. She told me—”  
  
_“It’s too hard, Siyeon. Being around you like this.”  
  
“I’ll figure something out. I’ll cut my days so you don’t have to see me.”  
  
“Siyeon—”  
  
“Please, Yoohyeon. Let me do this.”_  
  
But it wasn’t enough.   
  
“I tried to make it work, but the more I realized I couldn’t and that I was going to end up losing my best friend and all the guilt and shame, I just left. I bought a plane ticket, packed my bags, and left.”  
  
“Now, you’re here,” Minji concludes for her.   
  
“Now, I’m here.”  
  
Silence settles after that. It’s painful. It allows every single word she spoke to hang out in the open. It throws everything onto the wall like a projector, blaring bright and impossible to ignore.   
  
Siyeon stares at it all. Finally truly looks at it. It churns up the guilt and the shame once again. It twists like a blade in her chest. It stings the corners of her eyes. But also…  
  
Somehow...it releases something in her. Loosens those gears. Allows the beast that has been gnawing on bones, gums bleeding and aching from gaining nothing, to step out. To face it.   
  
“Why are you here?”   
  
Siyeon blinks. The question was asked so softly she thought it was just the wind. But it wasn’t. “What?”  
  
“Did you come to get away from Yoohyeon or did you come to get back to what you left here?” Minji adds.   
  
It’s far too deep of a question. A little too personal for someone she doesn’t know all that well but familiarity hasn’t stopped her from laying out one of her biggest regrets and greatest kept secrets to be seen.   
  
“Handong isn’t here,” Siyeon rasps out.   
  
“I didn’t say anything about Handong.”  
  
Oh. She didn’t. Siyeon swallows.   
  
“You kept saying that you didn’t come here for this.” Minji gestures between the two of them. Her movements are slow and broad. “But I can feel it when we kiss. I can feel the way you draw back. The way you stopped yourself that night after the cove. Even now as you spoke.”  
  
Siyeon’s pulse kicks up.   
  
“It’s not a crime to want more,” says Minji.   
  
Those words should’ve done it. They should’ve eased her but they don’t. Not completely.   
  
“Then why do I feel so guilty?” It comes out raw and ragged. Siyeon hates how she sounds. She hates that she’s descended into this tonight. She blames it on the alcohol. It has to be. Or maybe it’s the strange spell that comes over her when she’s in Minji’s presence.   
  
It reminds her of Handong. Of the way being around Handong pulled her innermost desires that had been locked deep, deep down out of her. With Minji, she takes those things that have been drawn out of her and aligns them out of the mess they’ve been in, turns a spotlight on them, and says, _“look.”_  
  
“Before I came to this island,” Minji begins, slow and easy, “my entire life was written for me. Then I fell in love.”  
  
“With Bora?”  
  
“No, not yet.” Minji laughs softly as a hand glides across Siyeon’s knee and traces patterns on her thigh. It’s soothing. That’s probably why she does it. “With what being here could offer me. I suddenly knew what I wanted for _me._ No one else was attached to that. Just me.   
  
“It took me a long time before I was brave enough to reject the life plan my parents had for me. I had a speech all planned out to tell them how I felt. Even so, I couldn’t bring myself to say it to their faces, so I wrote a note. That was right before I moved out. Everything I did after that—leaving, Bora, the happiness I finally found—only felt like guilt. I felt so selfish. Like I had failed. Like I had done something wrong. Like what I wanted and I loved wasn’t right.”   
  
“But isn’t your happiness what matters?” They’re words Siyeon should accept herself but they’re easier to say to someone else. It’s always easier when it’s someone else.   
  
“Isn’t it?” Minji’s eyes flick up to Siyeon’s. It makes her flinch. “I’m not saying that what happened between you and Yoohyeon is excusable. A boundary was crossed, even if there was no intention to do so, and feelings were hurt. That’s something you two will have to work out. But that thing you felt with Handong, what you were looking for with Yoohyeon, it isn’t bad. Sometimes it takes a little push for us to see that.”  
  
It happens so fast, Siyeon doesn’t have time to process.   
  
Air knocks from her lungs as her back hits the cushions where she’s splayed. Thin fingers loop around her wrists and Siyeon gasps as they’re pinned up above her head against the seat.   
  
Minji hovers over her, violet hair falling in strands and eyes wide open. Her lips part as she drags her tongue across the bottom one that’s a little more fleshy than the top. Siyeon remembers the first time she felt them.   
  
“When you said a little push, I didn’t think you meant literally,” says Siyeon. She’s breathless.   
  
“From your story, I gathered that you might not mind being pushed around a little.”  
  
Heat flares and turns into red across Siyeon’s face.   
  
“Or is it you who likes to do the pushing?”  
  
“I—” but Siyeon can’t really form the words she wants.   
  
Minji chuckles as she lowers, face burying into Siyeon’s neck. Her nose drags upward, tracing the line of her jaw up to Siyeon’s ear. “Don’t worry,” she purrs as she takes Siyeon’s earlobe into her lips and sucks. “I won’t run if you’re a little rough with me.”  
  
The whimper escapes her before Siyeon can bite it back. Minji chuckles, the vibration of it tickling through Siyeon as she turns into the crook of her neck and kisses.  
  
“Is this okay?” asks Minji.   
  
Siyeon takes a second to find her breath. She’s warm. She’s buzzing. She’s filled up with so many emotions she’s not sure which to grasp onto though what she does know is that,   
  
“Yes, it’s okay.”  
  
Minji presses a gentle kiss against Siyeon’s pulse and it melts her. She’s fully aware of the kisses. How they feel. They trail up to beneath her jaw where Minji nibbles gently. It tickles and Siyeon squirms, pushing up her chin to add more pressure behind those teeth but Minji lets up. She finds her way onto Siyeon’s face, feathery kisses across her cheek and the poke of her tongue to the corner of Siyeon’s mouth before fully kissing her.   
  
Siyeon sighs through her nose when she finally feels lips. Minji tastes like alcohol but she tastes like other things too. A beginning. A break in the clouds. A reassurance. An adventure.   
  
Siyeon flicks out her tongue, begging for more that Minji gives with a low, deep laugh from her chest. She takes Siyeon’s tongue into her mouth and sucks as she shifts, rides her knee up higher where it sits between thighs and locks it into a place that makes Siyeon gasp followed by the deepest moan when teeth bite into the thickness of her tongue.   
  
“There’s that hungry little puppy.” Minji grins. It’s the most beautiful and devilish thing Siyeon has ever seen. It makes her pulse. It makes her flood. “Is tonight when you’re finally going to come out and play?” she teases.   
  
Siyeon’s throat bobs in a swallow. Her fingers flex and she feels the way the tendons strain against Minji’s hold. The flames within her ignite. The wolf awakens, tail swishing in excitement.   
  
She takes in a breath.   
  
“Yes.”  
  
Minji’s teeth flash as she gives a full smile. “Don’t worry, okay?” She lowers, hovering a breath away from lips once again. “I’ll take good care of you.”  
  
Closing her eyes, Siyeon lifts her chin and accepts the kiss. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: sexual content, mentions of suicide, extremely light bondage?, Minji being too sexy for her own good

Siyeon wakes to sunlight and soft, wispy snores.  
  
It’s jarring at first. She’s not used to there being another body in her bed. Not anymore. And yet there is.  
  
She turns slowly as if this is a dream and if she moves too fast she’ll cut through the dreamscape and it will all disappear. But it doesn’t.  
  
She finds purple hair fanned across a pillow and a naked shoulder peeking from beneath a blanket. It’s unfair, she thinks, to look this ethereal in the morning. Minji is a pleasant sight to see with her mouth slightly parted as she takes in deep, noisy breaths in her slumber. She looks so soft. As if she doesn’t have a mouth full of teeth that know how to bite and a tongue that isn’t afraid to whisper wicked things.  
  
Siyeon simmers as she recalls the night they spent. Lip pulling between her teeth, her eyes flutter shut as she goes over every place on her body that Minji touched. She can still feel her fingers in places. Her lips in others. In particular, she can feel the coil of fingers around her wrists, Minji’s grip flexing around them, her weight pushing them deeper into the couch before she whispered,  
  
_“Why don’t we move this to somewhere with a little more room?”_  
  
She’ll need to change the sheets.  
  
_Oh._ A blush colors her cheeks. She’ll...need to change the sheets.  
  
Siyeon whimpers and Minji stirs.  
  
“Mmm,” Minji hums, sheets crunching as she shifts beneath the blanket. “Morning.” Her voice is as soft as ever with the twinge of a rasp.  
  
Siyeon’s chest flutters. She’s not used to this. “Morning.”  
  
Minji pouts, brow wrinkling. “Your voice is even sexier in the morning.”  
  
“That would mean my voice is sexy in general.”  
  
“It is.” Her eyes finally open. They’re slow to focus but once they do, Minji simply stares back at Siyeon who knows she’s sporting a blush. Minji grins. “You really are too cute.”  
  
Siyeon gives an exasperated groan. “You cannot be like this in the morning.”  
  
“Then how should I be?” She bats her lashes. It’s an exaggerated gesture but Siyeon still finds it attractive.  
  
“Less”—Siyeon waves her hand around in the air in Minji’s general direction. It’s too early to put words to how she’s feeling or what she sees. “—that.”  
  
“Well, I’ll try my best to be less this.”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“You’re welcome. May I kiss you?”  
  
Siyeon chokes on a response. She tries to form a proper one instead of a nod but Minji beams and her hand curls into the front of Siyeon’s shirt that she doesn’t remember putting back on. A light tug draws her over, closing the space between them and into a gentle kiss.  
  
Minji sighs. “Your lips are pure sin.”  
  
“I could say the same about yours.”  
  
“You like them, do you?” It’s a genuine question though there’s a teasing edge to it. Minji has that look in her eye again. The one she sported the night before when she put Siyeon’s shoulders into the couch cushions.  
  
Siyeon swallows. “I— yes. Yeah, I like them a lot.”  
  
“Where?”  
  
_“Jesus.”_ Siyeon coughs out a laugh. It’s so early. It’s too early for this. Not really. The clock says it’s nearly eleven but her brain is stuck on one o’clock in the morning and the fingers that knocked her out into a deep sleep afterward from the night before. “You said you would stop being less that.”  
  
“I only said I would try.”  
  
“Touché.”  
  
“You’re silly.” Minji giggles as she sweeps Siyeon into another kiss. It’s heavier this time. It ventures away from lips to across Siyeon’s jaw where she nibbles lightly before jumping down to the crook of her neck. Siyeon pulls back her head, craning her neck up to allow Minji all the access she wants. “Are you going to answer me?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
Somewhere in the daze, Minji managed to push up her shirt that exposes Siyeon’s stomach and the underside of her breasts. It’s in the space between them where Minji lands her lips and sucks.  
  
“Where?” Minji restates.  
  
_Everywhere._ That’s the word that comes to mind. It’s true. It is. And Minji doesn’t seem to mind her lack of verbal answer as she descends lower, pausing to lavish the places that make Siyeon’s breathing kick up faster. Like that little patch of skin right below her belly button.  
  
“Siyeon,” Minji purrs. She has her fingers hooked through the leg hole of panties when Siyeon can finally manage words.  
  
“There.”  
  
A chuckle vibrates against the space between her legs where Minji ends her journey. Thighs part easily for her and Siyeon rolls completely onto her back, arm draped over her eyes as Minji ghosts her lips along the inside of her leg and kisses around an ever dampening center before she gives a lick.  
  
Siyeon whimpers a moan. She’s sensitive in the morning. At least she is this morning. Without the drinks and the nerves and the sleepy spell of night time, she’s able to experience everything differently.  
  
She can hear herself properly this time. She can hear how loud her moans are and how sloppily Minji eats her. She can feel how much she floods into Minji’s mouth and how enthusiastic each of her strokes are. She can feel the pound of her heart hammering against her ribs as Minji speeds up, dives deeper, presses harder.  
  
It’s overwhelming and Siyeon finds herself shuddering through waves that leave her legs tingling and her insides warm once she’s finally done.  
  
Purple reappears from beneath the blanket and it’s one of the most surreal sights to see. She’s still in a dream. She must be.  
  
“I hope you didn’t mind,” says Minji a little shy. It’s almost insulting. How dare she be bashful when she gave Siyeon such a delicious wake-up call?  
  
“Not at all,” Siyeon pants. She looks at the smear of wetness that sticks to Minji’s chin, debates whether to thumb it off. Minji clears it away with the back of her hand and Siyeon wonders why she finds the action sexy. “Should I...you…?”  
  
Minji shakes her head. “Do you mind if I use your shower?”  
  
The switch-up is sudden but maybe Siyeon is starting to get used to the quick shifts and the straightforwardness. She isn’t left to figure out where they stand or what Minji wants. She isn’t left wondering if what they did was okay or not. If this moment will break them.  
  
“There are towels in the cabinet.”  
  
Minji slinks off the bed. She’s only in her underwear and Siyeon stares at every inch of exposed skin until Minji has collected her clothes and disappears out of sight.  
  
Slapping her hands over her face, Siyeon silently screams into them. “Oh my god!”  
  
She instinctively reaches for her phone on the night table beside the bed until she realizes.  
  
She can’t text Yoohyeon about this.  
  
No. She could never text Yoohyeon about this. Why would she even think to do so now? Ah. Perhaps because it’s the first time in a lifetime where she has felt so...alive. So full. Full of what? She can’t say but something feels different. This time it’s different. She feels different. Not so caged anymore. The wolf has left the confines of bars to sniff around the fields that stretch before it.  
  
Siyeon’s hand drops and she flops onto her back. The shower runs in the distance a gentle trickling sound. She should get up and strip the bed but she doesn’t. Not yet. She still feels weak from the wake-up call and ends up lying there until she hears the water turn off and feet pad back toward the bedroom.  
  
“Where would you like me to put the towels?” Minji’s head pokes through the door. Her hair is damp. It makes the purple a deeper darker violet.  
  
“Leave them. I have to collect laundry anyway.”  
  
“Okay.” Minji clicks her tongue. “Are you hungry?”  
  
“I usually have coffee for breakfast.”  
  
Fingers drum against Minji’s lips as she hums. “I think I can find my way around your coffee maker if you want to clean up.”  
  
The gesture is sweet but, “You don’t have to do that.”  
  
“I don’t mind.”  
  
It’s too much. Siyeon really thinks this is way too much. She can’t handle it but there’s a look on Minji’s face that tells her she’s not going to win this battle. “Okay,” she relents.  
  
“Okay!” And she’s gone again.  
  
It makes Siyeon laugh before she sighs. A happy sigh. Perhaps coming to this island wasn’t a bad idea after all.  
  
Rolling out of bed, she pulls off the bedding and leaves it in a pile before heading off to take her turn in the bathroom. She showers quickly and tosses on a new set of clothes. The smell of coffee hits her the moment she steps out of steam and her stomach growls, ravenous for anything to be put into it.  
  
Towels join bedding in a basket. Siyeon decides to clean up the rest of the beach house after Minji leaves for the day and starts for the door when the screen on her phone flashes.  
  
Pacing back across the room, Siyeon swipes it up. She doesn’t need to open it to see the message that flags across the screen.  
  
_[Yoohpoo <3]: Siyeon?_  
  
Her chest seizes. She blinks.  
  
Unlocking her phone, she opens the message fully just to make sure she’s seeing correctly. She is. The text stares up at her, beckoning for a response. It’s the only one in the thread. That hurts. All of the pictures and jokes and memes and conversations they previously had have all been erased from when Siyeon deleted their thread a month ago. It makes it feel like they’re strangers. But they aren’t and all of their history rushes through Siyeon’s mind up to their breaking point and she chokes.  
  
She wonders. Will they ever be okay again? Minji was right when she said that it was something they’d have to work out. But she’s scared. For the same reason why the message scares her now. Because what if they can’t work it out? And what if, despite everything, she loses Yoohyeon forever?  
  
And then, an even scarier thought, what if she’s okay with losing her altogether?  
  
The shut of a cabinet in the distance snaps Siyeon’s attention from the text. Like she’s been yanked out of a vacuum back into reality. Back into the present. Back to the escape.  
  
Her phone settles against the wood and she heads downstairs trying her best to whisk away the coils in her stomach as she makes her way into the kitchen. She catches Minji in the middle of placing two mugs she grabbed from the cabinet onto the counter. Purple hair whips as she does a double-take and gives a smile as she fully takes Siyeon in.  
  
“Hi.”  
  
Butterflies flutter through the knots creating the strangest mix of feelings in her gut. “Hey.”  
  
“Everything okay?”  
  
“Hm?” Siyeon looks up and shakes her head, pushing on a smile. “All good.”  
  
Minji has done a fine job figuring out the coffeemaker. Warm brown pours into two mugs and Siyeon accepts a blue one as she leans back against the counter. Minji takes hers while sitting on top of the counter, lips perked as she slowly blows off the steam that rises from white ceramic. She looks so natural in this space that Siyeon forgets it’s the first time she’s been over.  
  
“Do you make coffee for all your girls?” asks Siyeon, taking a tentative sip. It’s scalding and she winces as her tongue singes at the center.  
  
“Only the cute ones.” Minji winks and chuckles at Siyeon’s flush. “If I’m honest, you’re a bit of an anomaly.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Minji hums, one side of her nose scrunching up in thought. One hand lifts from her mug to toss her damp hair. “Remember when I mentioned that there had been a couple of travelers?” Minji waits for Siyeon to nod before continuing. “The people we meet aren’t long term. Sometimes it’s just one night or a few days together and often they’re not shared between the two of us. There’s only been one or two that lasted longer than that and only one who was involved with both of us.”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“It didn’t work out.” Minji shrugs. “It was different in the beginning before Bora and I became as serious as we are now. We’re a lot more selective and keep it simple. It’s actually been a long time since one of us has ventured out like this.” Minji ends with an unreadable expression, eyes examining Siyeon as if she’s trying to make sense of the being in front of her.  
  
“Should I be flattered?”  
  
“Maybe.” Minji smiles as she takes a sip. “Spending time with you has been...refreshing. It reminds me of when I met Bora. Except I was the one finding you laid out on the beach.”  
  
Siyeon groans. “I was such a mess.”  
  
“Were you? I couldn’t tell.” Her smile stretches into a smirk. Siyeon doesn’t have a chance to react to it before Minji starts talking again. “The point is, I don’t usually wake up wanting to devour my ventures first thing in the morning or wrestle with unfamiliar appliances to make a half-decent cup of coffee.”  
  
Siyeon laughs through the butterflies that flutter in her stomach. “Don’t tell me you’re falling for this lone wolf, Minji- _ssi,”_ she jokes to curb the heat that rises along the back of her neck.  
  
“I never fall. I run headfirst.” Her eyes darken. “I’m at a steady jog right now.”  
  
It’s charming, Siyeon has to admit. She also has to admit that at that moment she doesn’t think about the fact she only has about two months left on the island. She hasn’t thought about the time a lot lately. The way she’s settled into the atmosphere and the routine has started to grow familiar. Minji has grown familiar. She wants more of that familiarity. More of...wait. Does she?  
  
Siyeon blinks over the rim of her mug, watching as Minji hums a tune into her coffee before picking up a spoon to sprinkle a little more sugar into the brew.  
  
Yeah, she thinks. She wants to know more about Minji. About Bora. About this island. About this new creature she is blossoming into.  
  
“Do you have to go to the center today?” asks Siyeon. She joins Minji on the countertop, legs swinging so her heels bump the lower cabinets with little taps.  
  
Minji shakes her head. “I have the weekend to play as I please which means it’s catching up on all the errands I missed.”  
  
Siyeon understands that. She remembers the things they left out the night before that she’ll need to take care of and a bathroom that needs a quick cleaning.  
  
“Would you like to tag along with me?”  
  
Siyeon narrows her eyes at the question. “The last time I tagged along I got roped into garbage duty.”  
  
Minji laughs. It’s light and fluttery. “I can’t believe she did that to you.”  
  
Siyeon shrugs. If she’s honest, she didn’t mind. It got her out of the beach house. It got her Minji’s number. It got her further along on this adventure and farther away from the things she was trying to run away from.  
  
“What’s on the agenda?”  
  
“Groceries, supplies, and decor,” Minji lists off. Taking one hand off the mug, she leans back on it. “The worst thing you’ll have to do is help find the vegetables that aren’t bruised and carry a few bags.”  
  
Raising an arm, Siyeon flexes. “I’m in.”  
  
Minji’s throat bobs as she laughs, head thrown back to the ceiling. It’s a beautiful sight and a lovely sound. Siyeon remembers burying her face in that neck, muttering absurdities as fingers made fine work out of her.  
  
“Bora was right. You really are a sucker.”  
  
“Maybe I like to serve.”  
  
“Noted.” Minji bites her lip. “I guess we can call this one a domestic date.”  
  
Siyeon smiles. “I’m okay with that.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
“Looks like rain.”  
  
Siyeon glances up at the clouds. There are thick, grey ones creeping steadily across the island skies. In the distance, thunder rumbles faint but promising.  
  
“We’ll be quick,” Minji assures and leads them to the entrance.  
  
It’s an outdoor supply store that’s first on the list. It’s a small shop. Not like the huge sports and outdoor conglomeration Siyeon is used to back home. Not that she had any business being in one.  
  
Inside it smells like nylon and insect repellent. There’s music playing softly and a gruff looking traveler eyeing the torches while a clerk straightens up magazines on a display by the checkout counter. Across the store, surveying rock climbing equipment is a small stretch of a woman. Minji veers in her direction and sneaks up behind, hands landing on hips that make the woman jump.  
  
“Hey,” Minji greets with a laugh.  
  
Bora grumbles. “I swear you move like a cat.” She turns around and swats Minji on the arm before placing a kiss on her lips.  
  
It’s a small peck. One of greeting. Still, it makes Siyeon’s stomach whirl. She realizes this is the first time she’s seen them be affectionate with one another. There’s no jealousy in her. It’s more intrigue. Excitement. Wonder about what she could have if she stayed here...if that was even a possible outcome.  
  
“Hey, loner,” Bora calls over to her.  
  
Siyeon knows she’s blushing. She knows that’s the reason Bora is giving her that smug little grin, too. “I didn’t know we were meeting you here.”  
  
“Yeah, you can’t trust this one with the finances,” Bora juts her thumb at Minji. “She’ll buy the entire store. No self-control.”  
  
“I like to have nice things,” Minji pipes up.  
  
“You already have a nice thing.”  
  
Minji rolls her eyes but kisses Bora’s waiting lips that pucker up at her. It’s deeper this time, the wet sounds of lips and tongue audible. Siyeon feels like she’s watching something she shouldn’t and she turns away to stare at the paracord.  
  
“Are you going camping?” Siyeon asks once she sees the two separate out of the corner of her eye.  
  
“We all are.”  
  
Siyeon turns to Bora who spoke then up to Minji who says,  
  
“I guess no one explained to you what The Hanger is.”  
  
“No.” And now she’s a little worried considering the devious look the two share with one another.  
  
“Don’t look so scared.” Bora bumps her shoulder into Siyeon’s side as she walks by. “It’s a cliff.”  
  
“A, uh, cliff?” Siyeon follows them over to where the tents and sleeping bags and other camping supplies line shelves and walls.  
  
“A campground named after the cliff,” Minji further explains. A finger taps on her chin as she contemplates what’s in stock. “It’s one of the less popular cliff diving spots but the grounds are nice. It’s not crowded like the others and the natural hot springs are easy to access.”  
  
“When you say cliff diving you mean…” True worry creeps into Siyeon’s gut. She can’t say she dislikes the outdoors but she’s been more of a city kid her entire life that nature in its rawest forms intimidates her. She’s fine with beaches and short hikes, but being surrounded by the elements, standing on a peak where she was able to voluntarily plummet to possible doom was a little terrifying.  
  
Bora snorts “Oh, please, don’t be a puss—“  
  
“You don’t have to cliff dive,” Minji interrupts, shooting Bora a look who chuckles under her breath. “Gahyeon prefers to stay on land, too. It’s not for everyone.”  
  
“But the rush is amazing!” Bora chimes as no surprise.  
  
“Okay, daredevil, we can’t all be like you.”  
  
“A shame, really.”  
  
Minji smacks Bora on the butt before she can get too far. Siyeon has to admit that their banter is amusing.  
  
“It’s been a while since we’ve gone,” Minji starts, “so we thought it would be good to get some new equipment. You’ll need a decent sleeping bag, too. I doubt you brought one or have one at the beach house.”  
  
Siyeon shakes her head. She’d have to look in their small storage closet but she doubts she’ll find one. But that’s not the issue here. “You don’t need to buy me anything.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Because you don’t have to.”  
  
Minji blinks at her as if she’s said the craziest thing she’s ever heard. “But I want to.”  
  
Siyeon’s cheeks blaze. She’s honestly not used to this sort of generosity. “Isn’t this too much?”  
  
“When sugar mommy Minji has made up her mind, there’s no refusing her,” says Bora. “She’ll spoil you rotten.”  
  
“Is that why you turned out to be such a brat?”  
  
Bora gasps, hand pressing to her chest in faux offense. “I have high standards. There’s a difference”  
  
“High standards being short like that?” Siyeon jabs in jest.  
  
Bora pouts, finger pointing at Siyeon as she whines to Minji. “Mommy, Siyeonie is being mean!”  
  
“Now, now, Siyeon, you have to play nicely with the children even if they’re brats.”  
  
“Traitor.” Bora sticks out her tongue at her and Minji laughs.  
  
Siyeon cracks a smile. It’s childish but it’s sweet. It’s fun. She starts to relax. She doesn’t know why she was so worried about how things would be with the three of them altogether. It’s easy and it’s natural. It’s _normal_ in a way that’s new to Siyeon. She likes it.  
  
“Maybe we should get a cart,” Minji points out.  
  
Bora bounces off to retrieve one and they drop in the items they’ve picked so far. Siyeon has no choice but to accept the navy sleeping bag that they pick for her all the while she’s asked for her opinions on lanterns and all in one dish sets and if they should get a new tent or just use the one they already have.  
  
“This one is bigger,” is Bora’s argument. “What if we need bigger?” Her eyes slide over to Siyeon who had found interest in a paracord bracelet with a knife hidden in the clasp. That is until she feels eyes on her.  
  
Siyeon looks over to catch Minji watching her. She gives her an entire once over before turning back to Bora.  
  
“Okay, we’ll go bigger.”  
  
And it’s settled.  
  
It’s sprinkling by the time they check out. Bora runs out with the keys to bring the Jeep closer to the entrance and Siyeon helps Minji load up the items into the back.  
  
Siyeon shakes out her hair as she climbs into the backseat and Bora pulls off, grumbling from the driver seat about the weather. Minji works to connect her phone to the Bluetooth as she talks Bora down from her fussing.  
  
Gentle, indie music begins to play as they hit the road and begin a new journey. Siyeon sits back, staring out the window at everything that passes. Despite all the times she’s been here or had to make runs in the truck, there’s a lot of the island she hasn’t seen. Being in the backseat as a passenger without having to be engaged in the conversation happening up front allows her to take it in.  
  
It’s a lot different than home. Everything about it. Just being able to look out and not be bombarded with a bustling concrete jungle is settling. The air is open and the space hints at freedom she never quite found in the city.  
  
Back home, she felt like a tiny little thing. A speck amongst the grand scheme of it all, easily glossed over by anyone and everything. Here, she feels seen in a way that isn’t uncomfortable but rather inviting. Her lungs don't fill with exhaust, they expand with sea salt, clearing out her heart and mind allowing the new tides to usher in a newness that would’ve taken a sledgehammer and drill to carve down deep enough to locate.  
  
“Do we have umbrellas in the back?” asks Bora. For someone who loves to spend so much time in the water, she isn’t too thrilled about the rain.  
  
Minji cranes her neck back. “Siyeon, do you mind checking in the trunk?”  
  
Unlatching her belt, Siyeon turns around in the seat and pushes on her knees to look over the headrests of the backseat into the trunk. Along with their new purchases, there’s a first aid kit, a container labeled “in case of emergencies”, a volleyball that’s seen many sets out on the sand and—  
  
“There’s one.” Siyeon grabs it and pulls it out. “It’s small.”  
  
“That's not a problem.”  
  
“Ha-ha,” Bora huffs, sarcastically.  
  
Minji pecks her on the cheek. “I like you fun-sized.”  
  
Bora blows air past her lips but Siyeon catches her smiling in the rearview mirror.  
  
It’s a bit before the Jeep pulls into a lot and finds a space. Siyeon sees the name of a superstore in big, red letters on the front of the building. It’s the kind of place that has groceries, household items, clothing, gardening, and even auto parts though it’s smaller than ones Siyeon is partial to back home.  
  
“You already looked it up, right?” asks Minji.  
  
Bora nods. “I’ll get it if you and Siyeon want to get the groceries.”  
  
“But it’ll be heavy.” Minji points out with a concerned pout.  
  
Siyeon isn’t sure what the item is they’re talking about but she ends up getting paired with Bora for safety reasons.  
  
“I could bench press you.”  
  
Minji nods and hums. “Sure, baby.”  
  
Siyeon grins behind them as they head toward the entrance. Bora holds the umbrella with Minji at her side who ducks her head beneath to keep her hair and phone that she’s typing up a shopping list on from getting wet.  
  
The automatic doors open for them and Siyeon ties the flannel she used as a rain shield back around her waist.  
  
“We’ll meet up at the checkout,” Bora calls back to Minji who grabs a cart and waves to them as she veers toward the produce.  
  
Starting in the opposite direction, Siyeon falls into step with Bora who leads the way.  
  
“What are we getting?”  
  
“Shelving for the closet.” Bora pulls her phone from her pocket and starts thumbing at the screen. “There’s one we saw— aha!” She turns the phone for Siyeon to see the product. “Isn’t it nice?”  
  
Siyeon has never been one to get excited over furniture but Bora’s enthusiasm is endearing. “Very nice.”  
  
“I know, right?” There’s a skip in her step as they walk by aisles, weaving through the slower-moving customers. “We were running out of room and Minji refuses to toss anything out.”  
  
“She doesn’t strike me as a hoarder.”  
  
“She isn’t. Unless it comes to luxury items.”  
  
“Old habits die hard, huh?”  
  
Bora glances up at her, assessing the meaning of those words. Siyeon sees it click into place and Bora grins. “She used to be pretty snobby.”  
  
Siyeon laughs. It’s hard to imagine. Minji is so kind and accommodating. Humble. “Seriously?”  
  
“If I didn’t have a conscience, I would’ve left her on the beach where I found her,” says Bora.  
  
“How _did_ things get started between you two?” Siyeon wonders why she hasn’t asked before.  
  
Bora lets out a breath through her lips. “Not nicely.” She chuckles to herself at something Siyeon sees pass across her face but doesn’t say. “As soon as I found her, I dismissed my class and took her to the clinic. She was in pretty bad shape and there was no way of getting in contact with her family. She had no ID or phone or anything on her. I ended up staying there until she woke up. She wasn’t very pleased with me.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“She thought I was the one who robbed her. And stole her shoes.”  
  
“Her shoes?”  
  
Bora rolls her eyes. “They were limited edition.”  
  
“Ah.”  
  
Bora shakes her head. “We found her things still at the bar she wandered from. She didn’t apologize for accusing me. Not that I cared. After that, I took her back to the hotel she was staying at. There was another student there who was in the same program as her. They didn’t even notice that one of their classmates was missing. That’s what really pissed me off.”  
  
Bora grumbles something under her breath as she makes a turn, leading them down a new path. Siyeon isn’t paying attention to where they’re going. She’s stuck on Bora and how she becomes both hard and soft as she speaks about Minji and the story of their first meeting.  
  
“I went by the hotel the next day to check on her,” Bora continues.  
  
“That’s nice of you.” She’s genuinely surprised.  
  
“She was in...really bad shape that morning.” It sounds as if it pains her to recall. “I couldn’t sleep knowing that could’ve been a dead girl I walked up on.” Bora shudders. “Minji wasn’t too happy that I was checking in on her. She was embarrassed and rude because she was embarrassed but I somehow still managed to get her to come downstairs to have breakfast with me. I had to know she was okay.”  
  
“Did you?” Because it seems like Bora went through a lot of trouble for some stranger. Siyeon doesn’t know if she would’ve done as much though she can admit she would’ve worried, too.  
  
“Finding people on the beach like that or in the water..happens,” she says softly and Siyeon understands with a heavy heart. “Part of the beach patrol’s job is to make sure no one is tying bricks to their ankles and jumping off piers. Minji wouldn’t have been the first.”  
  
“But that’s not why she was there.”  
  
Bora shakes her head with a gentle smile. “No. She was just a sheltered rich girl experiencing true freedom for the first time. I told her there were better and safer ways to do that, gave her my number, and left the hotel. I didn’t think I’d hear from her but she messaged me one day and asked if I would be her wing woman for the night. You know. In case she went overboard again.”  
  
Siyeon echoes Bora’s smile. “Let me guess. The rest is history?”  
  
“You could say that.” Bora chuckles with a shrug. “We would hang out in her free time when she was on the island and text when she went back home.” Her brow wrinkles as she dips further into thought. “We were different people from different worlds. I couldn’t believe that we had even become friends. But the more we talked, the more I realized that she didn’t really have friends. She had possessions. When she lost everything, me and the few others she met here were all she had left.” Bora lets out a long, weighted sigh. “It was sad, really. I didn’t think I could be enough for her.”  
  
Siyeon frowns. They’re very vulnerable words. She’s not used to that from Bora but it draws her a little closer to her. Makes Siyeon want to get deeper beneath the layers that make up this fiery woman.  
  
“But she trusted me,” Bora speaks again, slower this time. Like she’s speaking out loud to herself more than she is to Siyeon. “And I did my best to help keep her afloat. It was...hard. Harder than anything I’ve been through with someone else.” Bora pauses. She hums. “Maybe that’s why we work. Because we know how far we’d go for each other. Even when it’s shitty.”  
  
It isn’t a nice story. It isn’t a nice beginning. There’s a lot of hurt woven in, coloring the edges of Bora’s voice, but there are other things there as well. Her love and care and appreciation for what she’s found and what she has. It exposes just how deeply and seriously Bora takes the things she touches despite the exterior she gives off. She’s gentle beneath it all. She’s protection in the ways Minji is safety. Determination in the ways Minji is perseverance.  
  
Siyeon, like Bora, wonders how she became friends with them. How they saw her and pulled her in. She wonders what they see. She wonders if she’ll start to see it in herself. She hopes she does. Maybe she’s starting to. Maybe she’s slowly finding solid ground in places where there was once only fog.  
  
“I thought Minji was the sap,” Siyeon jokes, breaking the thick of the silence that came between them.  
  
Bora sucks her teeth and shoves her hard. Siyeon squeals and she laughs, finding her way back over with her hands up at Bora who threatens her with two fists that turn into a hand that slaps her on the shoulder. The roughhousing almost ran them into another customer and they both bow their apologies as they get back on course and start along the walkway.  
  
“The thing is,” Bora starts again, voice steady and soft. There’s a seriousness that settles on her face that Siyeon has never seen before. “Minji knows loss. So do I. Even if they’re different. So, when a good thing comes our way, we hold onto it. Sometimes it’s a thing…” her eyes drift to Siyeon. “Sometimes it’s a person.”  
  
Their gazes lock and Siyeon’s throat tightens. Her chest flutters. She doesn’t want to read into the way Bora’s eyes soften the longer they look at each other. She doesn’t want to think that maybe Bora is hinting at her. She doesn’t but her heart squeezes because she also does.  
  
“Do we know where we’re going?” asks Siyeon through a voice crack. That officially breaks the somber atmosphere.  
  
Bora huffs in annoyance. “Of course I know where we’re going.”  
  
A wayfinding sign reads _Household_ and they head in that direction until clothing displays give to shelves of towels and bath items, vacuum cleaners and drapes, desks and shelving. Bora is quick to locate the item she was looking for and they cut down the aisle.  
  
There’s a variety of others. Many different products for home organization. Siyeon has never thought much about the way she’d decorate her home if she had one. She’s done the bare minimum situating her room that hasn’t changed much since high school. Now, standing here with Bora who examines the information on one of the boxes, she beings to wonder.  
  
What would she do? Who would be expressed? It’s an exciting thought having a place that is all her and nothing else. No limitations. But she also wonders about weaving into the lives of others. Of Minji and Bora. Her pieces peppered amongst what they already have. More mundane shopping trips to get new plates and cups and dishes. Shopping for groceries, a task Siyeon always found rather tedious, and picking items to fill in their kitchen.  
  
_Their._  
  
“Maybe we should get this other one instead.”  
  
Bora’s voice startles Siyeon who looks to see the new item Bora is standing in front of.  
  
“Will it fit?” asks Siyeon.  
  
Bora glances over at her, narrows her eyes, then eyes the box again. “You’re right. Maybe not.” She wanders back to the original item and claps her hands together. “Let's get a cart.”  
  
They grab a stray one and bring it around. Siyeon helps Bora lift the box. It’s more awkward than it is heavy. It takes a coordinated attempt and almost a smashed set of fingers before they get it safely deposited into the cart.  
  
“Sexy and strong.” Bora squeezes Siyeon’s bicep.  
  
Siyeon groans, face heating up. “Why do you do this to me?”  
  
“It’s fun.” Bora grins. “And I get to see that cute little blush of yours.” She taps the underside of Siyeon’s chin with the tip of her finger and Siyeon hates that she feels her face coloring even more. “There it is,” it’s said low and teasing. A lip pulls into Bora’s teeth as she steps closer to say, “nice and deep for me.”  
  
Siyeon burns, feet countering Bora’s advance with a backward step. “C-cut it out.”  
  
“You like it.”  
  
Maybe she does. “Do I?”  
  
“Don’t you?”  
  
Siyeon’s back hits the opposite shelves. Something rattles above her head. Bora is quick. She snaps out a hand, stopping whatever it is that’s about to fall. The stretch lands her hand somewhere to the side of Siyeon’s head, front pressed into hers.  
  
Siyeon sucks in a breath and Bora’s gaze snaps from the item to the mouth that’s in front of her. That’s where Bora gets stuck, lingering long enough for Siyeon to give a nervous swipe of the tongue across them. Bora’s eyes follow the drag and her jaw flexes. Her chest expands in a long, deep breath that could be read in many ways. Siyeon’s chest flutters at one of those meanings. It’s the same meaning that makes her well aware of all that is Bora and how seconds have passed and they’re still stuck together.  
  
She pushes back with her hips first. It’s not the smartest move. Bora waves against her and Siyeon has to catch herself before she groans at the intense pulse that radiates through her at the small bout of friction.  
  
“Careful,” says Bora, husk in her voice. “You wouldn’t want to have to pay for that.”  
  
Bora lifts away enough for Siyeon to get loose and look up. It’s a vase. A pretty decor one. The kind you’d find as a centerpiece in the middle of an elaborate dining table.  
  
“No, I guess I wouldn’t.” Siyeon’s voice isn’t any better. She clears her throat though it doesn’t clear any of the heat. “Should we, uh, find Minji now?”  
  
Bora looks at her for a moment. There’s no reading her expression. She’s just as intense as always. And as usual, Siyeon feels something too strong under her gaze though this time it goes a little deeper, teasing an area she’s so far kept herself from diving too far into.  
  
“Yeah,” she says after a beat. “We should.”  
  
Bora pushes the cart back toward the other side of the store. Siyeon eyes products as they pass, going through a mental checklist of things she needs to get for the beach house. She’s been away from it for a few days now and the last time she took inventory there wasn’t anything that glaringly stood out that she needed. Well maybe—  
  
An end cap display catches Siyeon’s eye if only because there’s a video playing on a screen displaying people with wacky hair colors and styles. She doesn’t know why it grips her but it does and she gravitates towards the display, half listening to the girl’s voice that plays the sound of the advertisement through a speaker.  
  
“Siyeon?” Bora calls, turning around when she doesn’t see her by her anymore. “What are you…”  
  
“Sorry.” She grabs a box at random and skips back over to Bora who glances at the blue dye in her hand but doesn’t comment on it. “We can go.”  
  
Bora’s phone rings as she gives Minji a call letting her know they’re up near the front. She shows up with a full cart of groceries a few minutes later.  
  
“All done?”  
  
Bora’s eyebrows lift as she looks at the items filling Minji’s cart. “That’s more than what was on the list.”  
  
“You’ll thank me later.”  
  
“My bank account won’t.”  
  
“Let me splurge,” Minji pouts as she whines. It’s a new look on her. Cute.  
  
Bora teases her a bit more as they get into the line and wade through it until they’re able to set everyone on the conveyor.  
  
“I can get that.”  
  
Siyeon looks away from the impulse items of candies and drinks and snacks in the queue over to Minji who gestures to the box.  
  
She shakes her head. “You’ve done enough for me today.”  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
“I’m sure.”  
  
Siyeon rings up afterward questioning why she’s buying the dye as she swipes her card. Maybe because it’s something different. Something new. A wild hue to match the wildness she’s been feeling these days on the island. A change to her usual. An evolution to who she was.  
  
“Can you drop me off at the bar?” asks Bora as they climb into the car. Minji is at the wheel this time and Bora takes control of the radio. “I don’t want to take the bike in the storm and you’ll need the Jeep.”  
  
Minji nods and looks into the rearview mirror. “How about you, pup?” Siyeon looks up. “Back to the beach house?”  
  
Siyeon clicks her belt into place as she thinks. She looks out at the rain and the sky. She looks out as if she can see beyond and sees an endless stretch of land and road. An endless set of possibilities that expand past the walls of her beach house that now seems so small in comparison. She’s not trying to hide away anymore. She’s on an adventure.  
  
“No,” she says. “I’ll go with you.”  
  
Minji cranks the car into drive.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
It takes the both of them to get everything into the house after dropping Bora off. Camping equipment gets set aside to put groceries away first. Siyeon follows instructions on where everything goes while Minji makes them bowls of instant ramen.  
  
“Okay, I lied.” Minji slurps and chews where she sits at the table. She’s changed out of her previous wet clothes and offered a set to Siyeon while theirs churn in the dryer.  
  
Siyeon looks up from the spicy broth, licking her lips. The ramen is better than expected and it warms her from the inside out, whisking away the chill that the rain left. “Hm?”  
  
“I am going to make you do hard labor.” Her eyes crease as she smiles. It’s the kind of smile that’s hard to say no to. “But only if you want to.”  
  
Siyeon laughs. She can already guess what Minji has in mind. She talked about how great the shelving they got was going to look and how convenient it would be half of the drive back to the house.  
  
“I’m handy with a screwdriver,” Siyeon offers.  
  
“How about a drill?”  
  
“Even better.”  
  
“Great!” Minji claps her hands together. “We’ll be done in no time.”  
  
Siyeon takes another bite and quickly chews before she asks the question that suddenly comes to mind. “How long have you lived in this house?”  
  
Minji leans an elbow on the table, scratching at the corner of her nose as she thinks. “Maybe three years now? Or a little more.” She takes a few more seconds of thought before she settles on that answer and shrugs. “I was actually the one who found it. At the time, Bora was living with her parents again after her break up a year or so prior and I was still settling into the island. Moving in together might’ve been a little quick but Bora was ready to get back to the area and I wasn’t in any shape to buy a house just yet.” She starts to laugh. “We slept in separate rooms at first.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“We treated each other more like roommates than a couple.” Her brow wrinkles as she chews another big bite and speaks through the ends of it. “We had just decided it wasn’t going to be an open relationship. We wanted to be with each seriously, give or take a venture or two.” Minji winks across the table at Siyeon and finally swallows. “It...wasn’t easy”  
  
“Bora told me you two had a rough start.”  
  
“Rough might not be strong enough to describe it.”  
  
Minji pushes her bowl up and folds her arms on the table. She gets the same look that Bora did when they were at the store. This sort of twisted mix of happy and sad. A jumble of emotions at the memories.  
  
“I was very set in my ways. My ideas,” Minji explains. “Where I came from made me one person. Being with Bora and being here made me who I guess I really always was deep down. I still feel bad some days remembering everything we went through. Even almost breaking up.” She shakes her head at herself.  
  
Siyeon gasps in actual shock. They’re so loving together it’s hard to think of a time that they wouldn’t want to be together. “When?”  
  
“It’s ancient history.” Minji waves a hand and Siyeon can tell the topic isn’t a favored one by the way her neck tightens. “We worked it out. It was more work on my end, honestly. Bora, you know Bora. She expresses and says how she feels and what she wants. I grew up learning to hide all of that. It took me a while to learn that’s what was hurting us. So I tried to be like Bora. I learned to be vulnerable and accept that I wasn’t as perfect as I thought. I was a mess, raised without the things I needed. Like love and honesty. Like acceptance. Even the ugly parts.  
  
“Even if it’s still a little hard for me to open up as quickly, and I can still act selfishly, I’m not where I was. Bora loves me and I know that. Our friends genuinely care about us. I didn’t have to pretend anymore and I didn’t have to shield all of my softer parts behind...a less than agreeable personality.”  
  
Siyeon grins at the last part. “That’s putting it nicely.”  
  
“I’m a nice person,” she jokes with a cheesy grin.  
  
Siyeon snorts. It’s still hard for her to see a different Minji. One that’s cold. Bitchy. Though, if she tries hard, she might be able to imagine it. She doesn’t think she wants to see it, however.  
  
“I’m happy for you,” says Siyeon.  
  
Minji gives her one of the softest smiles she’s ever seen. “Thank you. I’m happy for me, too.”  
  
Their situations are different but Siyeon can’t help but relate to Minji. In the way she came here and ended up getting away from what was. The way she molded into someone new.  
  
Siyeon feels herself molding. She feels herself starting to accept the parts she told herself were ugly and wrong and dirty. She feels herself learning about who she is and that all of who she is is okay. It’s okay. To want something different. To be something outside of other’s expectations.  
  
It’s liberating.  
  
They finish up eating and move to the bedroom where they bring in the new shelving. It’s the first time Siyeon gets a look at the main bedroom. It’s a nice space. Bigger than she predicted it to be. There’s an obvious split between who occupies which side of the bed and the overlap of their styles in the ensuite bathroom that’s attached.  
  
It’s a clean space aside from the pile of clothes and shoes that have been pulled out of the closet and laid across the bed and floor. Even then, it’s not much of a mess. Siyeon wonders which one is the neat freak. Somehow she doesn’t want to say it’s Minji.  
  
“Aww, she cleaned it out for us,” says Minji, eyeing the clothes and the empty closet where the shelving is about to go. “That cuts our time in half.”  
  
Sitting on the floor, they open the box of pieces and pull them out. Siyeon takes to removing everything out of plastic and tossing aside styrofoam bumpers while Minji thumbs through the safety and assembly instructions.  
  
“Looks simple enough.” Minji flips a page. “I think we can do this quickly.”  
  
Though it’s not as easy as predicted.  
  
It takes a while to make sense of the images on the instructions and the way the pieces are labeled. Even with the poor descriptions, they eventually figure it out and Minji works on getting the poles for hanging situated while Siyeon starts on putting the shelving portion together.  
  
This part she does find simple. Just boards and screws. Taking up the drill, Siyeon places a screw on the magnetic tip and drills it in. It goes in easily and she grabs for another that escapes her grasp, bouncing across the carpet and beneath the bed.  
  
Siyeon goes after it, flattening on her stomach to locate the fumbled screw. A glint of light hits, leading her eye over to black and silver. She blinks, squinting to make out what looks like a chest with buckles and a combination lock. She pauses.  
  
“Did you find it?”  
  
“I—” Siyeon jumps, head bumping against the bed frame. She winces.  
  
“Be careful.” Minji’s voice comes from closer than before. “See something interesting?”  
  
Siyeon turns to find Minji splayed on her stomach, peering under the bed beside her. It makes Siyeon feel like she’s been caught in the act though she wasn’t doing anything. Not really. Just staring. Just looking. Just examining and wondering.  
  
“You’re blushing,” Minji points out.  
  
Siyeon coughs. “No, I’m not.”  
  
Minji gestures with her chin to the thing that grabbed Siyeon’s attention over the screw that’s perfectly in sight and reach. “Do you want to know what’s in it?”  
  
Siyeon swallows. Her mouth bobs with uncertainty on how to answer. She settles with a, “I don’t know.”  
  
The corners of Minji’s mouth curl up into a grin that strengthens the flutters in Siyeon’s stomach. “Close your eyes.”  
  
A beat of silence passes before Siyeon pulls herself from beneath the bed and sits up. She doesn’t know what she’s about to get herself into but she closes her eyes and waits in nervous anticipation while the sounds of Minji’s movements fill the room.  
  
Gears grind as what Siyeon figures is a combination being put in followed by the sound of latches unlocking. Hinges pop as the case opens and Siyeon’s heart races.  
  
“Hold out your hands,” Minji instructs, voice calm and easy. It helps to quiet some of her nerves but they spike all over again when she feels something cool and smooth yet furry settles into her palms.  
  
Siyeon lightly curls her fingers around the object and feels metal. That throws her off. She can’t even begin to guess what might be in her hands.  
  
“Open.”  
  
Siyeon lets her flashes flutter open and looks down, stunned by what she finds. It’s a pair of cuffs. Leather and padded on the inside in soft, fuzzy fabric with a chain that connects each cuff.  
  
They’re...nice. For lack of better words. And an entirely unexpected item.  
  
“I thought you might like these in particular,” says Minji, watching her.  
  
Siyeon doesn’t know what to say. Minji isn’t _wrong._ In theory, the idea of having them secure on her wrists is exciting. It’s something that’s passed through her mind before but never tried. Didn’t have a reason to. Part of her can’t believe she’s holding a real pair and she starts to wonder what other things Minji has hidden in that chest.  
  
“Do you want to try them on?”  
  
That question is almost too much. Siyeon can’t process it. She takes detours in her mind instead, thinks back to Handong in the bed of the truck and to Minji hovering above her on the couch the night before. She recalls the pressure and the tightness and finally to the object in her hands and how it might feel in comparison.  
  
“Can I?” she asks, voice small and bashful.  
  
“Only if you want to.”  
  
Siyeon takes a moment to think, eyes back on Minji who waits patiently. She tells herself that this is how it should’ve been with her and Yoohyeon. She should’ve been open and patient, understanding and reassuring. The guilt bites but she reminds herself she didn’t know any better. Not that it excuses her but it tells her how to approach Yoohyeon next time. How to properly apologize. It tells her that there can be safety within danger. Wildness in structure. Risks within bounds.  
  
“I do,” she finally says.  
  
Minji takes them from her hand and undoes the buckles. She takes her time applying one cuff before the other, pausing to ask Siyeon how it feels and if it’s too tight. They’re not. They’re comfortable. Warm. She pulls at them, testing the way the chain tightens and the fabric feels on her skin. It feels good. Too good.  
  
“Oh, no.”  
  
Siyeon snaps her eyes up. “What?”  
  
Minji bites her lip, looking her up and down. “I didn’t realize how hot you would look like this.”  
  
Heat seers through Siyeon right into her core. Her heart had already been pounding but it hammers even harder now.  
  
“Like what you see?”  
  
“I do.” Minji pulls on the chain. Siyeon follows the tug until it puts her a breath away from soft lips. “Maybe a little too much?” Lips brush. “May I?”  
  
Siyeon answers by closing the gap. It’s a warm and gentle kiss. Minji is slow to pull back and press in again where the breath from their noses mingles. Siyeon tilts her head to deepen the embrace and parts open, inviting Minji’s tongue to do as it wants. She feels the tip graze the line of her bottom lip before flicking upward at the top one. It feels good. She’s learned that Minji’s tongue always feels good. No matter where it’s placed.  
  
That thought turns up the coils and Siyeon opens wider, sighing when Minji finally enters her mouth fully and leaves her breathless when she pulls away.  
  
“If you keep making sounds like that, I’m not going to want to stop,” Minji breathes.  
  
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”  
  
“Oh?”  
  
Leaning back, Siyeon lifts her arms and loops them over Minji’s head. The chain rattles as she stretches it out taut and presses it to the small of Minji’s back, tugging until she’s drawn over Siyeon’s lap.  
  
“Oh!” Minji glances down at their new position. “This isn’t how things are supposed to go.”  
  
“It’s how I want them to go.”  
  
Minji whines, a mix between a whimper and a moan. It’s sinful in her higher-pitched voice. “What else do you want?”  
  
Siyeon uses her wrists to hold Minji’s hips and leads her down over one thigh. She doesn’t need to give any instructions on what to do. Once Minji settles, she grinds, instantly turning the spark between them into fire.  
  
“Like this?” Minji looks up with big, brown eyes.  
  
Siyeon swallows. “Mhmm.”  
  
She rolls her hips again, the cotton fabric of the tights she’s in rubbing against the denim Siyeon wears. The layers are thin enough for Siyeon to feel the warmth down to her skin. It’s almost too much to take and Siyeon buries her face in Minji’s chest, kissing at her through her shirt.  
  
“That won’t do.” Minji’s hands drop down, gripping the tail of her shirt and pulls it up.  
  
Siyeon stares at the sight in front of her, eyes fixed on the swells that peek from the top of a lacy bralette. It’s there that Siyeon lands her mouth and sucks.  
  
_“Ah!”_ Minji squeaks, hips grinding harder. One hand holds up her shirt while the other helps to keep her balance on Siyeon’s shoulder. She’s sucked a lovely pink mark into her skin when Minji tells her to, “Take it off.”  
  
It’s tricky, but Siyeon manages. She finds the clasp on the back and undoes it. The piece falls away easily and it’s Siyeon who moans when lovely tips present themselves to her.  
  
Her lips attach and her teeth bite just enough to draw out a hiss.  
  
“You wait for nothing, do you?”  
  
“Should I slow down?” Siyeon peers up.  
  
Minji shakes her head and arches her back, pushing herself back into Siyeon’s mouth. “Just don’t stop.”  
  
That’s easy for her to obey.  
  
She takes Minji back into her mouth and rolls her with her tongue, humming at the smoothness of the feeling that runs along her tongue. Above her Minji pants while below her hips dance, the heat between her thighs gone damp enough to hint at.  
  
“Oh, Siyeon—” Minji groans. The hand she holds on Siyeon’s shoulder has bent into a claw. Nails bite at her through her shirt with the welcomed prospect of crescents to be discovered later. “Siyeon, Siyeon, Siyeon—”  
  
Minji’s head drops back, stretching her neck tight enough to reveal the veins along each side. Her jaw flexes as she bucks her hips, rhythm gone askew in a telling outcome.  
  
Siyeon draws away from where her nose traces up the smooth plate of a sternum to an unattended blossom of color. She circles her tongue around hardened, deep, rosy pink and then… lets her teeth close down.  
  
“God.” Minji keens. _“Yes!”_ She breaks like a wave, trembling in Siyeon’s lap.  
  
Siyeon can feel each pulse against her thigh as Minji rides herself out until she slumps over her shoulder, panting in the air that’s grown thick around them. Siyeon holds her there, taking in deep drags of air herself. She’s burning up. Tingling like static all over.  
  
“Wow, I needed that,” Minji says after a minute.  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“I’ve been a little wound up and stressed with work at the center.” Minji sits up, hand running through her hair to push it out of her face. Her eyes are glassy with pleasure. “Spending time with you this weekend has been a little oasis and that”—Minji pauses to peck Siyeon on the lips—“was like a fresh sip of water out of the desert.”  
  
“Oh, she’s poetic, too.”  
  
“Only after orgasms of enlightenment.”  
  
Siyeon hollers a laugh that Minji echos. It’s nice to laugh afterward. It’s nice to not pretend like this didn’t happen. It’s nice to not worry if the other person may feel guilt about what they’ve done or not even if they come back for more.  
  
“Give me your wrists.” The cuffs come off with little effort. Minji examines where they were hooked. “All good?”  
  
“All good.”  
  
Minji kisses each of her wrists. It’s oddly sweet. Affectionate. “How about a snack before we finish up?” she asks and Siyeon nods. “Good. Pick whatever you want while I, uh, change. Okay?”  
  
It should be Minji who blushes but it’s Siyeon instead. It’s just so overwhelming. “Okay.”  
  
“Good girl.” Minji gives her one more kiss. “I’ll be right back.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
Darkness settles by the time snacks are burnt off and clothes are reset in the closet. The outdoors calls and Siyeon finds herself following Minji through the doors of The Flying Fish.  
  
_“To reward ourselves,”_ is Minji’s reasoning though one isn’t needed.  
  
It’s louder tonight than it was the last time Siyeon was here. There’s a couple of hours before last call and the bar is fanned with thirsty patrons.  
  
“Hey, Minji!” one of the barhands shouts across the way. Minji throws her hand up high into the air to give a wave as they tell her that they’ll let Bora know she’s here.  
  
“Tell her to bring kimchi fries!” she shouts back. The barhand gives her a thumbs up. “Up to the terrace?” asks Minji, turning back to Siyeon.  
  
She nods. The crowd inside looks fun but she’s not feeling anything rowdy.  
  
The terrace dissipates the noise and she relaxes. Tarp awnings have been pulled out to shield from the bit of rain still lingering around. The raindrops patter against the top of it in a steady rhythm that accompanies the music and the gentle chatter. There’s a fire burning in a clay, patio chiminea nearby where they take up space on a cushioned, wicker couch that whisks away the harsher bite of the wind.  
  
“What a day!” Minji drops heavily onto the cushions causing them to groan. “I’m starving.”  
  
Siyeon giggles. She doesn’t know anyone else who eats as much as Minji does.  
  
“It’s going on a little over a month of you being here, hasn’t it?” Minji points out.  
  
Though there’s plenty more time left, Siyeon still wrinkles her nose in distaste. “Don’t remind me.”  
  
“You really hate what you left back there, don’t you?”  
  
“Not all of it.”  
  
There’s still plenty good but she’s not ready to go back. She’s not ready to face her parents. She’s not ready to face Yoohyeon. She’s not ready to give up the freedom she’s felt being here. She’s not ready to fall back into a routine that she’s realized even more now that it was dull and draining.  
  
“What if you didn’t go back?”  
  
Siyeon snorts out a laugh. “Out of the question.”  
  
“Why? Because of the restaurant?”  
  
“Yeah, and…” And?  
  
Siyeon pauses. It has crossed her mind before but now she thinks about it. What _if_ she didn’t go back? Would it be so bad? She thinks back to Minji’s story. About how she found what she loved here on the island and left everything else behind. She thinks about Bora, making something of herself and being a free spirit, going where the winds take her but also being grounded and certain and confident in herself.  
  
Siyeon has never been quite that confident and she’s never been the type to defy. Her stomach goes weightless as her nerves get the best of her when she starts to get into the grit of what a permanent separation from the norm would mean and look like.  
  
“I’ve never lived anywhere else,” Siyeon admits. Saying it out loud sounds a little sad. She’s twenty-five and she hasn’t done much at all. “I wouldn’t even know where to start. Getting my own apartment is one thing but moving to Jeju— _Jeju!_ —that’s big.”  
  
“Big girls do big things.”  
  
Siyeon has to laugh at that though she quickly sobers, a somber mood coming over her. Her voice softens.  
  
“To tell the truth, I’ve never really done anything on my own. I mean, I didn’t start scheduling my own doctor's appointments until I was nineteen!”  
  
Minji raises a hand. “Twenty.”  
  
Siyeon cracks a smile but it quickly slides off. “I’ve lived a slow and quiet life. I made good grades and I was always there when my parents needed extra help. Customers would leave their kids at the restaurant sometimes because they knew I’d give them crayons and keep them from running into the street. I’ve followed all the rules and kept myself clean. The craziest things I’ve done were things that just...happened to me. Handong, those months with Yoohyeon”—she gestures over with a hand—“you. Taking a big leap like that is...scary.”  
  
“You’re already here.”  
  
Siyeon turns to her.  
  
“Getting on that plane didn’t happen to you,” Minji goes on. “You did that. You did something you needed to do. And I hope that all the time we’ve spent together was something you wanted and not because it was just happening to you.”  
  
Siyeon thinks back. The moment Minji invited her out that day at the beach, she could’ve said no. She didn’t.  
  
“It was something I wanted,” she says. “It is.”  
  
Being here on the island has been a series of wants. Of her forgetting all restraints and allowing herself to roam free. To explore. To test the new waters that have been waiting and stirring inside of herself.  
  
Minji lifts her eyebrows.  
  
Siyeon gets it. She truly does.  
  
“Think about it,” says Minji, bumping her shoulder into Siyeon’s. “It doesn’t have to be Jeju. It just has to be something _you_ want. Maybe not even now. Maybe in a few years. It’s never too late to start living for you. It’s okay to be a late bloomer. No two timelines are ever alike.”  
  
Minji offers her a smile and Siyeon returns it. She’s truly comforted by the words she was given and Siyeon has to blink to keep the thankful tears from becoming more than a sting at the corners of her eyes.  
  
She wonders how she got so lucky stepping into the crosshairs of this lifeguard who has become an unlikely friend and more. Siyeon likes Minji, she realizes. A lot. Even if they’ve only known each other for a few weeks, she’s someone Siyeon doesn’t want to forget. Bora neither. They feel so solid. Like they always belonged there. Like finding them were the pieces she was missing from her incomplete life.  
  
“Who’s thirsty!”  
  
The patio doors fly open.  
  
Bora walks across the terrace with a large basket of fries in one hand and a tray of drinks balanced on the other. She’s in tight black pants and a cut off bar-branded tee for the night with her signature towel hanging out of her back pocket. Her long, high ponytail sways as she makes her way over, hoop earrings tapping against her neck. It’s unfair, Siyeon thinks, to look so alluring and attractive in work clothes.  
  
“Me!” Minji sings and grabs her usual off the tray then claims the food.  
  
The fries look as delicious as they smell. Siyeon snags one and chews as she eyes the remaining glass on the tray. “What is it this time?”  
  
“Have you ever had Sex On The Beach?” Bora picks up the glass and hands it to her.  
  
Siyeon blanches. “Have I what?”  
  
“It’s the name of the drink you amateur,” Bora explains. “Take it.”  
  
Siyeon gives it a sniff before she takes a sip. She likes it better than the first thing Bora made her all those weeks ago and logs the name away for future purposes.  
  
“How did everything turn out?” asks Bora, sinking onto the armrest of the couch, feet tucked beneath Minji’s thighs. She sips a lemon and water on the rocks as she leans her elbow on the back of the couch, fingers idly playing with purple stands.  
  
“Perfect!” Minji beams. “We got everything built. And before you ask, yes it’s all secure. Our loner is a wiz with a drill.”  
  
Siyeon’s cheeks tint pink as her mind flits back to a fumbled screw and a black chest. To leather cuffs and buckles. To weight settled over her thigh, soft lips, and needy moans. She can’t believe it happened. She can’t believe this entire day has happened though she wouldn’t change anything. She felt like something in herself opened up when the latches on that case unlocked. And she’s curious to find out what that was  
  
“We might start having to give you an allowance if you keep helping us like this,” says Bora to Siyeon.  
  
“How about that meal you keep denying me?”  
  
“I’ll think about it.” Bora smirks as she takes a drink. “Mm—” Bora hurries to swallow her drink. “I love this song!” she shouts suddenly.  
  
Minji lights up at the same time Siyeon catches the upbeat tune playing. “Me, too!”  
  
Bora pulls Minji off the chair and into a spin that lands her in arms. Laughter rises into the awning as Bora nuzzles her face into Minji’s chest, growling like a little monster as she does it. Minji squirms, trying to get away from the assault but it’s no use. Bora has a strong grip and her growls give way to a smatter of kisses along the column of Minji’s long neck.  
  
“Down, girl, down,” Minji manages through her laughter.  
  
Bora chuckles as she lets up and strings her arms around Minji’s waist, swaying them to the beat. It’s not the kind of song to slow dance to and soon Bora begins to twirl Minji again that leads them into what Siyeon figures is a silly dance they do often. It’s full of awkward dips and turns and hip bumps and high fives. It’s entertaining if nothing else and Siyeon laughs at their wild antics.  
  
The sound of her laughter catches the attention of the two and Minji pulls away to grab Siyeon’s hands.  
  
“No, no, no—”  
  
“Come on!”  
  
She’s tugged into the chaos without much choice. She isn’t nearly drunk enough for this but maybe she doesn’t need to be. It’s fun. She needs fun. Minji nor Bora care about the eyes that peek over at them and the barhands that slip out onto the terrace to pick up empty glasses and bottle hoot and holler at them in praise as if this is a normal thing the two get up to.  
  
“You can move your hips better than that.” Bora settles behind her bringing warmth against the chill. Firm hands find their place on Siyeon’s waist, maneuvering them with the music. “That’s it.”  
  
“Now you got it.” Minji grins in front of her, one hand on Siyeon’s shoulder while the other lifts above her head as she grooves.  
  
“I feel ridiculous,” says Siyeon.  
  
Minji just smiles wider and spins her around so she’s facing Bora.  
  
“You look ridiculous,” Bora jabs. “Loosen up.”  
  
She tries. She tries but Minji closes in further and the pressure sends her into Bora, sandwiching her in. Hips move behind her and Siyeon loses her breath when Bora drapes her arms over her shoulders, lips curling at the corners as she looks up into dark eyes.  
  
“Hey, there, good lookin',” she purrs. “Come here often?”  
  
Siyeon flounders.  
  
“Depends on who wants to know,” Minji answers from behind her.  
  
“Someone who can’t get enough of those galaxy eyes of yours.”  
  
Siyeon hears Minji smile more than she sees it. “You’ve got a sly tongue on you, don’t you?”  
  
“Only one way to find out.”  
  
The arms over Siyeon’s shoulders slide further back and Minji’s grip on her hips tightens as she leans over. Bora meets her in the middle, lips finding lips and cheeks brushing Siyeon’s as the two kiss.  
  
Siyeon simmers between them. Her heart pounds. She can hear every wet press and every stroke of the tongue. The kiss is deep and long. Siyeon finds herself panting along with Bora as they separate.  
  
“Take care of my pup for me?” Minji pecks Siyeon on the cheek before she wanders off as if what just happened didn’t happen. Or as if it was a simple and normal thing.  
  
Siyeon stares at her back speechless.  
  
“This is my last dance before I have to help clean.” Bora’s voice draws her attention back. Siyeon finds Bora’s eyes. They’ve darkened and her lips are still damp from the kiss. “Make it worth it?”  
  
Siyeon clears her throat. “I’ll try.”  
  
Those firm hands are on her hips again. They draw her close and Siyeon feels every curve of Bora’s body contour to hers. Hips grind and Siyeon’s pulse spikes. The movement catches her off guard, drawing out a gasp. Bora bites her lip, eyes settled on the swell of Siyeon’s lips before they slowly make their way back up to her eyes.  
  
It’s hot. So hot. Siyeon gets trapped in Bora’s smoldering gaze and her body tingles as fingers flex on her hips that continue to bump. They’re so close, she wonders if Bora can feel how hard her heart is beating.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Siyeon can see Minji watching them from where she sits on the couch, knees spread and one arm draped over the back while her other hand tilts a glass at her lips. There’s more than amusement in her expression. There’s interest and approval. She likes what she sees and that makes Siyeon lightheaded.  
  
“Look alive,” says Bora.  
  
Siyeon blinks. “Huh?”  
  
She has no time to compute before Bora throws her into a dip over one arm. Siyeon tightens her grip around Bora’s neck, fearful of falling but strong support holds her up enough to not need to. The only thing it does is make it so she’s closer to Bora’s face, their noses an inch apart, hair tangling in a mix of onyx and dark copper. It would only take a single move to close the gap.  
  
And Siyeon thinks Bora does.  
  
Her chin tilts up and Siyeon panics. She relaxes her grip, allowing all her weight to fall onto Bora’s arm and they tumble. Air knocks out of her as her back hits the paneled floor and she braces herself with eyes squeezed shut for the heavy drop of weight of another body that doesn’t come.  
  
Eyes flutter back open to land on another pair. Forearms press into the space on either side of Siyeon’s head where Bora hovers over her, a smirk on her mouth.  
  
“If you wanted me on top of you, all you had to do was ask,” Bora mutters, close enough to taste the lemon off her breath. The hair that falls around them is dark, trapping them alone behind a curtain.  
  
Siyeon doesn’t dare move. Not with the way Bora is over her, thighs split over her stomach where Siyeon can feel heat radiating at her belly button where her shirt has ridden up. This close, there’s no mistaking the ragged way Bora is breathing, the rate her heart is beating, the depth of the red in her cheeks is deepening.  
  
Siyeon’s insides go screwy. She shivers. She pulses. It catches her off guard and she draws in her bottom lip, biting down onto it to distract herself from the out of control signals and wants and wonders and desires that sound off through her skull down to the base of her stomach.  
  
“Are you okay?” it’s Minji’s voice, breaking through the torrential storm like a ray of sunlight. She’s no longer on the couch but moved to stand over them, eyeing the situation up close.  
  
Bora sits up. “I am. Not sure about that one.” She stands and offers a hand down.  
  
Siyeon wills her hand not to tremble as she accepts it and allows Bora to help her to her feet. She hasn’t recovered as quickly as Bora has. She tosses her hair back into place and situates her clothes as if it was nothing.  
  
“I should go help. Wait for me to close up?” She gives Minji a light kiss before heading off.  
  
Siyeon doesn’t miss the way Bora looks back over her shoulder before she opens the door and slips inside.  
  
“All good?”  
  
Siyeon draws her eyes away from the door to Minji. There’s concern on her face but there’s also a flush on her cheeks. Siyeon doesn’t know why but she could guess. She could guess that it’s due to how much she liked what she witnessed.  
  
“Yeah,” Sieyon’s voice cracks. She seeks out her abandoned glass, desperately needing to douse the flames swirling in her gut. “How long does it take to close down?”  
  
“Not too long.” Minji shrugs as she sits back down. Siyeon joins her. “We can continue the party back at the house if you’d like.”  
  
It’s hard to tell if there’s more than one meaning in what Minji says but Siyeon feels like there is. Maybe if there wasn’t alcohol running through her veins and the burn behind a zipper wasn’t so strong she’d be able to tell for sure.  
  
“Sure,” Siyeon says because she can’t think straight right now. She can’t think much of anything right now.  
  
Minji hums into her glass and settles back on the couch as she smooths hair out of Siyeon’s face, brushing them behind her ear with a delicate graze. “Great.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
It’s a walk back to the house, none of them quite sober enough to drive.  
  
The rain has left the night cold. Siyeon wishes she wore a light sweater. Bursts of warmth hit her as Minji brushes against her side as they walk. Ahead of them, Bora clomps in her boots, an amber bottle in hand, humming to the tempo of her steps. Siyeon doesn’t know the song. She wonders if it’s even a real song or if she’s making it up as she goes as nothing seems to repeat.  
  
“Oops!” Minji bumps into her, knocking Siyeon a little off course. “Sorry.”  
  
Siyeon eyes her. “Are you really that drunk?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“She’s lying!” Bora shouts backward. The bottle sloshes as she takes a deep drink and audibly gulps. It’s what she likes to call her celebratory drink—a beer after closing in reward for a long shift over and done.  
  
Minji sticks her tongue out at Bora’s back.  
  
“Put that back in your mouth,” Bora says without having to turn around to know what’s taking place behind her.  
  
“Make me.”  
  
Bora glances back. Her eyes drift to Siyeon for a second but she says nothing and returns focus to the road home. Siyeon thinks there are a thousand words in that look even if Bora is silent.  
  
“Are you sure you’re still up for coming over?” Minji asks.  
  
Siyeon thinks about it. There’s tiredness hanging out in the wings, ready to claim her the moment she puts her head to a pillow but she pushes it off. She doesn’t want to go back to the beach house. She doesn’t want to be alone.  
  
The night reminds her of ones with Yoohyeon. But better. The alcohol doesn’t taste bitter. The butterflies don’t meet doubts and worries of what the rest of the night might have in store. She doesn’t feel like she’s walking on eggshells. She’s on solid ground and following the trail of a new map with X’s marking hundreds of spots.  
  
“I’m sure.”  
  
“I guess you’re not sick of us yet.”  
  
Oh, no. Siyeon is finally starting to sink into what this little arrangement is. She’s so charmed by Minji and taken with Bora that she wants every moment she can get with them. She craves it. She’s needed this...splinter in her cocoon. It’s like she’s slowly wiggling herself free.  
  
“I think I can stomach a few more hours,” says Siyeon.  
  
“That’s good.”  
  
Knuckles graze against the back of Siyeon’s hand. She looks down just in time to see Minji’s fingers find their way between the spaces of Siyeon’s and lock around. When she looks back up, she finds a lidded stare that makes her chest twinkle.  
  
“May I?”  
  
Siyeon nods.  
  
“Always so compliant.”  
  
Leaning down, Minji lands a quick kiss on her lips. Siyeon feels it burn in her chest down to her toes. It’s so simple but she sighs afterward, savoring the way the cool breeze feels against the heat that Minji’s mouth leaves. It’s the same kind of heat that washes over her when she catches Bora looking at them again, bottom lip sliding out of her mouth where she’s bitten it. That earlier spark on the terrace becomes a flame and Siyeon doesn’t think she wants to snuff it out.  
  
Feet clatter up steps onto the porch where Minji lets them in with a key. A cool draft wafts out from inside that raises goosebumps along Siyeon’s skin. Shoes kick off and Bora splits away to check the thermostat. She must feel the chill as well.  
  
“Water, anyone?” Minji calls out.  
  
“Me,” says Siyeon.  
  
“Grab me one?” Bora says to Minji. “I’m going to clean up.”  
  
Minji nods and pops her head in a gesture for Siyeon to follow her into the kitchen. It’s bigger than the one at the beach house. There’s an island and nice countertops. A window over the sink is placed perfectly to let in the morning sunlight and Siyeon imagines sleepily making breakfast in the golden glow before she whisks that away. This isn’t a place of permanence.  
  
Siyeon leans her elbows on the island while Minji fishes a water bottle from the fridge. She hands it to Siyeon before grabbing two others and closes the door with her hip. The seal cracks as Siyeon twists off the top and takes a drink. It’s cold. She shivers. It’s good.  
  
“Tonight was really fun,” Minji comments.  
  
Without the music and fairy lights, the glow of the moon and the stars, everything seems to slow down. The kitchen light casts across them, showing the tales and wears of the day. Minji’s lids are heavy and her hair is a little untamed. Siyeon’s a bit disheveled and her limbs feel heavy. It’s not bad. Just a result of the day they had, the hours that have gone by. Siyeon almost wishes she had a journal where she could write this all down. She feels like things are shifting so rapidly that she doesn’t have time to examine them.  
  
“Yeah, it was,” Siyeon says back, her voice scratchy.  
  
Minji sighs. “I have to go back to the center tomorrow.”  
  
“I thought you had the entire weekend off.”  
  
“Technically. We take turns on who gets to make sure the rescue animals on site are fed,” Minji explains. “Tomorrow is me.”  
  
“That doesn’t sound like it’ll take too long.”  
  
“It won’t.” She lets out a long, tired breath. It’s a wonder she can jam so much in a day and not be dead on her feet. “I was thinking. Unless you had other plans, we could do something that wasn’t real responsibilities tomorrow after I get back.”  
  
“I’d love to.”  
  
Minji smiles as she tickles beneath Siyeon’s chin with her fingers. “Oh, you spoil me.” With the guide of a single finger, Minji leads her up into a kiss.  
  
“Well, well, well,” Bora’s voice booms through the hall. “What do we have here?”  
  
Siyeon turns at the same time Minji does to find Bora standing in the doorframe, freshly showered and changed. At first, Siyeon thinks her comment has to do with them openly kissing in the kitchen. Then she sees it. Hooked on the end of a finger is a pair of familiar-looking leather cuffs.  
  
“Looks like someone was having a little fun.” She stares right at Siyeon as she says it and they all stop.  
  
A beat passes. Seconds on the analog clock hanging above the door tick.  
  
Something in the atmosphere shifts.  
  
“So?” Minji comes back.  
  
Bora’s eyebrows lift. “What do you mean, ‘so’?”  
  
“What do you want? A reenactment?”  
  
Bora’s cheek twitches. “I want you to clean up your messes.”  
  
“Done. But I asked you a question.”  
  
Bora’s lips press into a line. Siyeon darts her eyes between them. She can’t tell what’s happening but something is. An undercurrent. A bubbling beneath the surface.  
  
“Do you want a reenactment?” Minji asks again, firmer this time.  
  
That haughty, teasing look on Bora’s face slides off and it’s wild to see. Like she’s taken off that fiery mask and laid it down leaving her bare.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“On you or her.”  
  
Bora’s eyes flicker to Siyeon who nearly chokes on the water in her mouth.  
  
“She’s not talking to you,” Minji’s voice cuts, “I am.”  
  
Bora’s gaze snaps back. She looks small. Smaller than she’s ever looked to Siyeon before. For some reason, it intrigues her. It excites her. Almost as much as the way Minji asks—  
  
“What do you want, Bora?”  
  
“Me.”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
Bora licks her lips. Her chest heaves. “I want you to cuff me.”  
  
“Now,” Minji’s voice softens but only a fraction. “Was that so hard? Come here.”  
  
Bora walks slowly across the tile. Pushing herself off the counter, Minji holds out her hands and accepts the cuffs into her palms. There’s no instruction needed from there. Bora holds up her arms, insides of her wrists facing up. Siyeon watches intently as Minji smooths her fingers along the soft lining and eases the first cuff on. She’s in the middle of looping through the buckle when Siyeon feels eyes on her.  
  
Her gaze flickers up to find Bora looking over at her. Sensing the distraction, Minji brings her own eyes up, glances between the two of them, before addressing Bora with a,  
  
“Too tight?”  
  
Bora brings her attention back with a shake of the head. “No. It’s good.”  
  
At that, Minji starts on the second one, and Siyeon bites into her lip. It shouldn’t be this...exciting. But it is. Something about the way Minji handles the leather and the buckles and the delicate way she cradles Bora’s hand as she examines the cuff is rather enticing.  
  
“Is that—” but Minji doesn’t finish. She stops when she looks up again, catching Bora’s focus elsewhere once again. “Baby.” The address snaps Bora back. “Do you want something?”  
  
Bora gives a bashful blink. She shakes her head.  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
Bora licks her lips, mouth parting as if she’s going to speak but no words come out. She just shifts where she stands, making the chain that hangs between her wrists sway.  
  
“If it’s nothing, I need your eyes on me, okay?”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
“How does this feel?” Minji taps the second cuff she secured into place. They’re rather tight. Tighter than they were on Siyeon. “Too tight?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Good. Now, are you going to tell me what’s got you so distracted?” The way Minji asks is as if she already knows. Siyeon finds herself waiting in anticipation when Bora nods and Minji tells her to, “Use your words, baby.” It’s mildly patronizing.  
  
Bora shakes her head.  
  
“A guessing game, hm?” Minji examines Bora before she turns her eyes on Siyeon and motions with her chin toward her. “Do you want something from her?”  
  
Bora pauses. Her eyes lock with Siyeon and her heart picks up. Bora has never looked at her like that. Or maybe she has. Hidden behind glances and stares. It spreads goosebumps across Siyeon’s skin and the sound of Minji’s gentle chuckle sends a shiver down her spine.  
  
“Why are you acting so shy now?” A finger settles beneath Bora’s chin and angles her back around so she can’t look anywhere other than the woman in front of her. “You haven’t been able to keep your eyes off of her the entire night.”  
  
Bora’s eyes widened.  
  
Minji strokes the space beneath her lip with the pad of her thumb. “You didn’t think I noticed?”  
  
Siyeon thinks back. To shopping. To the terrace. To dancing. To Bora’s grip on her, pressing into her, grinding on her. To the way she lost her breath when she was close to Siyeon. The way she kept looking at her lips. The way she burned against her skin.  
  
“You’re not fooling anyone. If you want to kiss her, you could just ask.”  
  
Bora tenses and Siyeon freezes though it’s for different things. Siyeon freezes because she wasn’t expecting that. Or maybe she was. Well. At least not aloud. For Bora, she’s sure it’s because she’s been exposed, her little secret desire brought out into the open.  
  
“Can I?” Bora’s voice comes out small and cracked.  
  
Minji tilts her head at Siyeon. “Ask her.”  
  
Bora is slow to turn her attention over once her chin is released. Her eyes are big and her lip is red from where she’s been constantly chewing on it. The chain on the cuffs rattles as she moves over to Siyeon and she has to echo what Minji said earlier about her. She didn’t expect Bora to look so hot in them. And, god, does she. Hot and wanting. Waiting.  
  
It’s too much.  
  
“Can I kiss you?”  
  
Too, too much.  
  
Siyeon melts. She’s not sure why that question awakens some primal part of her but it does. And seeing Bora like this, it— it...  
  
“I—” Siyeon looks at Minji for reassurance. She knows what she wants but she’s not sure if she’s allowed to want it. Everything is moving so fast and in a direction she wasn’t expecting. She can’t breathe. She can’t catch a moment to think.  
  
Maybe it’s not the time to think. Just do. Just go for it. Just toss all caution to the wind at once and do something crazy. Do something _she_ wants. What the wolf that begins to howl in her wants.  
  
She gets a nod from Minji. “If that is what you want.”  
  
It is. She thinks…yeah. Yes, it is.  
  
Siyeon turns back to Bora. “You can kiss me.”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
It’s strange to see Bora like this. She approaches slowly, tongue gliding over her lips as she wets them. She’s much shorter out of her boots and her neck has to stretch to get close enough to Siyeon’s mouth to feel the warmth of her breath. Siyeon’s own breath leaves her when lips press to hers.  
  
It’s a light press but the fact Minji is right there watching them heightens everything. It makes her acutely aware of how close Bora is, how her bound hands bump against her thighs, the stickiness of lips, the sound of Bora’s deep breathing.  
  
Bora pulls back to find her eyes. They’re alive in a new way. They’re hungry. “More, please?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
And she returns.  
  
This time Siyeon is able to enjoy it. To savor it.  
  
Kissing Bora is different than Minji. She’s a little more forceful, a little more direct with what she wants. It doesn’t take long before Siyeon has Bora’s tongue in her mouth, tastes the tells of alcohol, and gets pushed further back against the counter that digs into the small of her back.  
  
But that hardly registers.  
  
She’s gotten too focused on keeping up with the hurried way Bora kisses her as if she has to siphon everything out of it now because it’ll never happen again. And maybe it won’t. But that’s not on Siyeon’s mind right now.  
  
Fingers tighten in her shirt where Bora’s bound hands sit, arms bent and sandwiched between them. She grips hard, pulling in desperation. She’s so needy it makes Siyeon want to give her it all. She gives what she can in the form of a gentle bite on a swollen bottom lip and Bora sings. Her voice pitches high as she whines, the sound so new and so tantalizing that Siyeon shudders.  
  
“Beautiful,” Minji sighs in the background. Siyeon’s eyes split open for a moment to see Minji hovering behind Bora, a fond smile on her lips. “So, beautiful.”  
  
Minji steps in close. Reaching around, she takes Bora’s arms, pulling them up and looping them around Siyeon much like Siyeon had done earlier that afternoon.  
  
“Hold onto her,” Minji instructs in Bora’s ear. “Can you do that?”  
  
“I—” Bora stutters and Siyeon feels why. Minji’s hand wraps around her waist and dips, easily disappearing past the waistband of her sweats. The gasp Bora gives is telling of where fingers land and Siyeon thinks she might combust. “I can.”  
  
“Good girl.” Minji peers over Bora’s shoulder and meets Siyeon’s eyes. “Help me with her?”  
  
She doesn’t look like the Minji she’s come to know so far. She’s devious in this moment. Overcome with need. Controlling. A tease but also a wanting lover. It makes Siyeon’s heart skip. It makes her whimper at the feeling of knuckles grazing against her every time Minji moves her hand against Bora. It makes her forget anything before Jeju. At least for the moment. And it replaces it all with the now and what could be.  
  
“Will you?”  
  
Siyeon’s mouth goes dry but elsewhere she goes startlingly wet. “Yes.”  
  
“Good girl,” Minji sings, grazing her lips across Bora’s cheek to find Siyeon’s lips. “My good, good girls.”  
  
Siyeon closes her eyes and she stops glancing back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to take a moment and thank everyone who has taken the time to read, share, hype up, and leave your love in the comments for this fic. It has been a joy getting to read what you all feel, think, take away, and find in this story. Can't wait to see what others feels you feel as this journey continues. 
> 
> Thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of death and spicy goodness ;)

It’s early. Siyeon only knows because the sun breaking through the curtains is a low, pale golden hue.  
  
She rouses slowly, rubbing her eyes that open to an unfamiliar bedroom. She isn’t in the guest bed this time. The door to an en-suite bathroom faces her which puts her on Minji’s side of the room. At her back, she feels the warmth of Minji herself close by, the long drags of her breathing deep in her slumber. There’s an arm draped over Siyeon’s waist and she hates to get up but nature calls.  
  
Minji hardly stirs as Siyeon pulls away from her to get up. She whimpers something unintelligible as she rolls over onto her other side and curls further into the blankets. Siyeon smiles. The contrast between the Minji she got to see at night and the plush one in the morning is still a little disorienting.  
  
Siyeon takes to the guest bathroom in the hall instead of the en-suite. She’s more familiar with it and it disconnects her from everything for a few moments. She needs to gather herself.  
  
The toilet flushes and the water runs. She presses cold, damp hands to her cheeks and looks at herself in the mirror. She’s dazed. So very dazed. The past two nights haven’t seemed real but perhaps last night is more unbelievable than the previous.  
  
And she wasn’t even touched. At least not the way Minji touched Bora.  
  
The memory strikes lightning down her gut. Bora against her, Minji’s weight pressing her closer still, the bite of a chain across her back where Bora pulled her wrists taut, lips on hers as Minji gave her panting kiss after kiss, and lips on her neck where Bora buried her face.  
  
Siyeon lifts her chin and turns, pulling at the collar of her shirt. There’s a mark on the left side. Nice and fiery. She touches it with a sharp inward breath. It’s...warm. As warm as Bora’s breaths that licked against her skin, her moans growing louder as Minji brought her closer until she broke, trembling in Siyeon’s arms as she did.  
  
Siyeon whimpers out loud.  
  
 _Fuck._  
  
The smell of coffee seeps beneath the door. Siyeon realizes she’s been in the bathroom much longer than necessary and she leaves, beckoned through the halls by the aroma of dark roast.  
  
She pads into the kitchen and squints. The window is open letting in the smell of rain come and gone that mixes with sea salt and breakfast. Bora stands at the counter, skilled hands slicing cuts of fruit that she places into a bowl. At Siyeon’s entrance, she looks up with her eyes a second before returning to her work at hand.  
  
“Good morning.” Bora points to a lone mug sitting on the counter with the blade of the knife she’s using. “Hungry?”  
  
Siyeon helps herself and pours a cup, adding in a touch of milk that Bora lets her know is in the fridge. As she does it, she can’t help but think this feels rather domestic.  
  
“How is it?” asks Bora.  
  
Siyeon blows steam and sips. It’s been sitting long enough to where it isn’t scalding hot and she can taste the flavors even through the heat. “Pretty good.”  
  
“I’m not the coffee drinker in the house,” Bora tells her. “It took a bit of finessing to figure out how Minji takes hers. Not too strong but just strong enough.”  
  
“It’s perfect.”  
  
“You flatter me.”  
  
Scooping up the fruit, Bora drops them into a blender along with ice, peanut butter, and milk.  
  
“I’m glad you’re up. I wanted to talk to you—” The machine starts with the flick of a switch. Siyeon watches as the contents get puréed into a fine mix before it shuts off. “—about last night,” Bora concludes in the silence afterward.  
  
Siyeon can’t say that she didn’t see it coming though she expected it to be Minji. Minji who always checks up and checks in. Watching her the previous night handling Bora after she floated down from her high, cooing in her ear about how good she was, telling her she’ll help her get cleaned up again, thanking Siyeon for helping her. It’s all very sweet.  
  
Bora wanting to talk makes Siyeon nervous in a different way. She doesn’t know what to expect. Much like she didn’t expect yesterday and the way it ended. But maybe she’s glad Bora does want to talk.  
  
“Is that okay?”  
  
Siyeon blinks. She realizes that she zoned out. Bora has already poured her smoothie into a tall glass and dropped in a metal straw that she sips on while she waits for a reply.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Great.” The glass clinks onto the counter. There’s a shift in Bora’s demeanor that reminds Siyeon of how she was leading surf lessons. Focused. Serious. “No matter how much of a willing participant you were, I think we might have all been a little under the influence. Things moved fast and I wanted to check in with you. To make sure you were okay.”  
  
Siyeon stands stunned. It’s straight to the point as she expected.  
  
She thinks. _Really_ thinks about the night and how she felt. It was all so much but not in a bad way. A newness she can’t explain. A new experience that was more exciting than it was scary. She begins to tingle all over again as she recalls bits that start to come back to her now and she blushes.  
  
“I’m okay,” Siyeon responds. Bora raises her eyebrows. She wants a full answer. Needs one. “Really, I’m okay. It _was_ fast but it wasn’t bad. I…” she shifts not because she’s uncomfortable but because she’s shy. Shy about how much she liked it. “I enjoyed myself...with both of you.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
“Okay?”  
  
“Yeah, okay.”  
  
“Just okay?”  
  
Bora laughs. “What more do you want me to say? Finally getting to kiss you after thinking about it for weeks was the cherry on top of my night? Better?”  
  
Siyeon flounders. Wait. Wait, what? She rewinds and plays back the words Bora said and tries not to get caught up in them. Tries not to smile like a giddy teenager who has just been confessed to by her crush.  
  
“It’s either zero or one hundred with you, isn’t it?” Siyeon tries to play off.  
  
“Now you’re catching on.” Bora’s teeth flash in a wide grin that matches Siyeon’s own goofy one. Like they’re both sharing in a moment that each is a little embarrassed to talk about. “There is more.”  
  
Siyeon nods for Bora to continue.  
  
“I don’t know everything Minji has told you about us and the people we’ve been with. What happened last night isn't what we normally do. Especially not this soon. It’s as scary to you as it is to us but what we have with this is experience where you don’t. We’re ready to open ourselves to you—Minji _and_ myself. Only if that’s something that you’re interested in.”  
  
Oh. Wow.  
  
“I…”  
  
“Slowly,” Bora adds. “Last night was a leap. I know you and I haven’t spent as much time together but…” Bora pauses to chew on her lip. “But I...want to.”  
  
Siyeon stands stunned and speechless once again though she’s smiling. She can feel it in the way her cheeks start to ache.  
  
Bora lifts an eyebrow. “Did your batteries die or something? Hello?”  
  
“I’m rebooting,” Siyeon jokes. Bora snorts. She clears her throat. “Yes.”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Just yeah?”  
  
Siyeon rolls her eyes. “Yes, I’m—I’m pretty sure— Yeah, I’d be interested, too. In, uh, spending more time with you. And Minji of course.”  
  
“Alright.” Bora holds out her hand.  
  
Siyeon slides her into it. They shake. “Alright.”  
  
“Weird?”  
  
“Still a little weird.”  
  
A yank on her hand jerks her down. Bora lifts up at just the right moment to press her lips to Siyeon’s mouth in a sudden kiss.  
  
“How’s that for weird?” Bora whispers in a smile.  
  
Siyeon pulls in her bottom lip. “Less weird.”  
  
“Mmm.” Bora presses in once more, long and slow. “That’s better.”  
  
“Morning,” Minji’s voice filters into the kitchen as she pads in with a yawn. Her eyes pass over the two by the island, gaze lingering a little longer on Siyeon. “Why is she so red? What are you doing to the pup?”  
  
“Nothing you wouldn’t do,” Bora says back.  
  
It’s true. No one denies it.  
  
A phone rings from the other room and Bora walks off to answer it.  
  
“Hi.” Minji plucks a hard-boiled egg from a bowl on the counter and begins to peel off the shell after cracking it on the granite. “Are you doing okay?”  
  
She has the same concern on her face that Bora did.  
  
“Better than okay.”  
  
Minji lifts her eyebrows.  
  
“Bora and I talked.”  
  
Her concern washes away with a smile that lights up her eyes. She’s so soft when she does it. It creates butterflies in Siyeon’s stomach.  
  
“I thought she would after last night if I didn’t get to you first.” Minji pauses to pick off the last bit of shell then takes a bite. She chews with enthusiasm. “Bora and I have been discussing the two of you, and by extension, all of us. We got a little caught up in the heat of the moment last night.”  
  
“It was the kind of heat I like.”  
  
Minji smirks as she leans her hips against the counter, seriousness finding a way into her face as she eats the rest of the egg in another full bite. “I know this probably feels overly serious to you considering that you’re only here for a few more weeks but…” she trails off.  
  
Siyeon waits. “But?  
  
This time, it’s Minji’s cheeks that tint pink. Her teeth flash in such a shy smile that Siyeon can’t help but smile back.  
  
“What is it?” Siyeon presses again.  
  
“I’ve taken to you,” she answers softly, her voice touching a little higher than normal.  
  
Oh.  
  
“Both of us have.”  
  
 _Oh._  
  
Those butterflies intensify. It’s not exactly unexpected but it’s flattering. It’s still surprising. A little shocking. It’s been so long since someone has expressed such soft and intimate feelings toward her that Siyeon doesn’t know what to do with herself.  
  
“Even if the rest of your time here is short,” Minji continues, “we want to enjoy it with you. If you allow.”  
  
“I don’t think I could say no.”  
  
“Well.” Minji steps forward, hooking one arm around Siyeon’s back to pull her in. “You could.”  
  
“I don’t want to,” she says softly, front molding with Minji’s front, arms automatically draping over taller shoulders.  
  
“That makes me—” Minji pauses to hum as she pecks her lips. “—happy.”  
  
 _You’ve made me happy,_ goes through Siyeon mind as Minji brings her back in for a gentle kiss. The words feel a little too strong for what they have even if she doesn’t mean them that deeply romantic. She’s been happy since she came to the island. Happier since she’s met Minji and Bora.  
  
The knots in her stomach have nearly all unwound. Her guilt is no longer festering. The wolf within her has left its cage to wander about the wilderness with curiosity and excitement of each new thing it discovers—each new thing it gets to sink its teeth into.  
  
For a second, Siyeon thinks about home. She starts to compare. It wasn’t that she hated home. It wasn’t that she was unhappy. She was content. Content in a way that comes from settling with what you have—with the familiarity and consistency of a life she had always known and lived. Being away from it now, taking in things at rapid-fire, allowed to do and be and say and go and feel whatever she wants, the contentment is different.  
  
She isn’t settling. She’s forging her own. And the joy that has brought her has been...startling if not welcomed. Very welcomed.  
  
“Where’s my spray bottle?” Bora’s voice returns. “Stop before you lay each other out on the counter.”  
  
Minji chuckles and breaks the kiss, tapping the underside of Siyeon’s chin as she pulls away. “Would you mind?”  
  
“There’s food present!”  
  
“So, sorry.” Minji smiles and leans down to give Bora a kiss. “Good morning to you, too.” Bora visibly melts and slaps Minji’s backside as she continues her trek to grab the other unattended mug to pour herself coffee. “Who called?”  
  
Bora’s face falls. “My omma.”  
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
“The storms were bad on their part of the island. There was flooding.”  
  
Minji gasps. “Oh, no.”  
  
“They’re working to put together care packages for the villagers to take to those who have been displaced until things can get cleaned up.” She frowns a frown that wrinkles her brow. “I’m going to cancel lessons today so I can go up and help.”  
  
“I can come,” Siyeon suggests.  
  
“Valiant of you, loner, but you don’t have to.”  
  
“I want to,” Siyeon presses. “We had to prepare packaged meals in bulk at the restaurant all the time. I can help.”  
  
Bora’s eyebrows lift. “Perhaps you are an asset even outside the bedroom.”  
  
“Gee, thanks.”  
  
“Take the Jeep,” says Minji after quickly swallowing a sip. “It’s nice out, I won’t need it.”  
  
Then Siyeon remembers. She turns to Minji. “We had plans.”  
  
Minji shakes her head. “What you’re going to do is more important.”  
  
“But—”  
  
“Really, it’s okay. We have time to spend another day.” Minji juts her chin to Bora. “They can use all the help they can get.”  
  
She still feels bad but she’s been around Minji enough to know that she sticks to what she decides is best and what she wants.  
  
“Don’t let me forget.”  
  
Minji smiles. “I won’t.” She looks to Bora. “Be careful, okay? Text me when you get there.”  
  
“I will.” Bora swings a hand, slapping it hard onto Siyeon’s back. “Suit up, America.”  
  
Siyeon cocks an eyebrow. “It’s Iron Man.”  
  
“Whatever, I didn’t watch The Dark Knight.”  
  
“That’s—”  
  
Bora rolls her eyes and pulls her out of the kitchen. “Come on!”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
The drive isn’t a short one.  
  
The dullness of morning has pulled away like a curtain, drawing back lingering clouds to let the fullness of the sunshine through. It touches open land that stretches miles left and right, front and back as they settle deeper into the countryside. And Siyeon finds herself breathless at the sight.  
  
It’s beautiful. There is so much green. Endless green. In the distance are the hazy monuments of mountains and cliffs with winding roads for those brave enough to travel. Spread in intervals are farmhouses, their fields peppered with livestock that graze idly in the sunshine.  
  
A chuckle sounds from the driver's side. “Pretty, huh?”  
  
“There’s...so much.” Siyeon’s eyes are wide in amazement as she stares out trying to drink everything in.  
  
“I was actually raised in one of these villages,” Bora tells her. “The house we had was already small enough with my parents, brother, and grandparents. My grandmother said that when I came it felt like the house went from an acorn to a mustard seed.” She laughs. “I was a handful.”  
  
“I can believe it.”  
  
A tongue sticks out at her.  
  
“She begged my grandfather to stop spending so much time giving everyone else pretty homes and make ours the dream house they always wanted.”  
  
“Did he?”  
  
Bora shrugs. “I don’t know what they dreamed about but it was home. My grandmother didn’t complain again though she would shoo me out of the house to play so I wouldn’t tear up the house. That’s how I learned how to surf.”  
  
The Jeep makes a turn that leads them off the main road onto a narrow one. Up ahead Siyeon can see the outlines of houses.  
  
“My brother and his friends would hitch a ride on the flatbed of one of the farmer’s trucks for the half-hour drive down to the shoreline in the morning. I bullied him enough into taking me with him sometimes. He didn’t have any choice but to teach me so I’d stop bothering him about it.”  
  
“You really were a brat.”  
  
“We both were.” She shrugs with a fond smile. Bora always has that smile when she talks about something she loves. “He was four years older than me and twice my size. We’d wrestle and prank each other and argue at the top of our lungs but we never doubted that we had each other. He made me tough and I made him proud.”  
  
The car bumps and Siyeon’s attention draws back out the window.  
  
The beauty of greens and pastures begins to fall away in exchange for browns and the disheartening sight of destruction. Where farmlands once spread rich and plentiful, plains were now buried in blankets of murky, muddy water. It didn’t seem that high until Siyeon caught sight of a cow who was submerged up to its chest. On an incline stood a trio of men doing their best to coax the stressed animal from the depths to dry land.  
  
The Jeep rolls to a stop and Siyeon turns to see why. In the road, before them, is a man wearing a safety green vest, arms waving in the air. Once he notices they’ve stopped, he comes up to the driver-side window that rolls down.  
  
“You can’t come this way.”  
  
“How do I get in?” asks Bora and gives the exact name of the location that they’re trying to reach.  
  
The man points and gestures to a detour they can take. With the Jeep, he’s certain they’ll be able to make it through but warns to take it slow.  
  
“Thank you.” Bora cranks back into drive and follows the man’s instructions. She’s quiet and concentrated as she does it. Siyeon doesn’t speak, allowing her to safely navigate the flooded terrain. “It’s bad.”  
  
Siyeon only nods in agreement. She doesn’t have experience with flooding to compare but she can tell that none of what she’s witnessing is good and she feels the heaviness of the storm's impact when they finally reach their destination.  
  
It’s busy. Event tents are set up shading fold-out tables and chairs where some villagers occupy. Beneath another, smoke billows from a grill as a team of people prepare food for residents and volunteers while another set scoops portions into containers that get wrapped in paper bags and loaded into cardboard boxes for transporting.  
  
Others move about carrying equipment and loading some into trucks. Radios crackle as instructions are given over walkie-talkies and groups of people hop into the beds of pickups to head off to their respective destinations. Law enforcement pepper through the crowd, police officers, search and rescue teams, as well as emergency personnel who help to give structure in the chaos.  
  
Siyeon figures this is the center point of communication. The area doesn’t look to be as affected as the places Siyeon saw earlier but there are signs of heavy rain and a bad storm throughout.  
  
The Jeep cuts off in an area where others have left their vehicles and Bora climbs out. Siyeon follows closely, eyeing the situation she has now become a participant in.  
  
It’s a little overwhelming.  
  
“It’s this way,” Bora tells her over her shoulder, pocketing her phone after sending a text off to Minji.  
  
They track into one of the tents where slabs of plywood have been spread over the muddy ground to keep from sinking into the dirt. Footsteps shuffle mixing with the sounds of voices and cooking. There’s music playing from a small, portable speaker that a few of the elders sing to while encouraging some of the younger ones to join in.  
  
On the far side of the tent is where Bora slows. There’s a woman there, short with her hair scrunched in a hairnet and an apron, helping to pass out food cartons to those who pass through the line. Coming up behind her, Bora reaches around to cover her eyes with her hands.  
  
“Guess who!”  
  
“If you’re not here to tell me I won the lottery, I don’t want to know,” the woman fires back without missing a beat.  
  
“I was the best lottery you won.”  
  
“You cost me the amount of a lottery.”  
  
“Omma!” Bora whines as she pulls her hands away.  
  
Mrs. Kim chuckles as she turns to grin at her. “Did you make it okay?”  
  
Bora nods and picks up a carton to hand off since her mom is distracted. The man thanks her with a bow and continues through the line to accept the next thing.  
  
“It’s worse than I thought.”  
  
Mrs. Kim sucks her teeth in dissatisfaction. “It’ll take weeks to clean everything up.” Her eyes shift to Siyeon standing silently close by. “Who is this?”  
  
“Oh!” Bora bounces back over to her, arm slinking around her shoulder. “Omma, this is Siyeon.”  
  
“If the help you were bringing me was a pretty face to motivate the college boys, you did well.”  
  
Siyeon flushes. She instantly sees where Bora gets it from. Where she gets her everything from. It’s amusing.  
  
“She’s here to help with the food,” says Bora, slinking away from her.  
  
“Or anything you need,” Siyeon adds. “I work at a restaurant.”  
  
“Then I don’t have to go over food safety with you.” Mrs. Kim motions with her chin across the way of the tent as she goes back to passing out meals. “There’s gloves and hairnets over there. Bora can show you how we’re packing. Can you drive?” she asks Siyeon.  
  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
  
“We’ll need someone to deliver the next batch of meals further north. They’re in worse shape up there.”  
  
“We can do it together,” Bora assures. “Come on.”  
  
Siyeon follows her across the tent to grab equipment. Pulling on the gloves takes her back to home that brings an unexpected pang of homesickness if only because being here reminds her of her parents. She hopes they’re doing okay.  
  
“You’ve packed food before so you understand what should and shouldn't be put together,” says Bora as she pulls her hair up and applies the net.  
  
Siyeon nods as she looks at the food. It’s simple enough. The main dish is a brothy stew paired with a few types of meat, rice, and side dishes. There’s also fruit and little bowls to scoop it into. Lined up in one section are glass bottles of what Siyeon reads off the labels of various colors is tea.  
  
“That’s the tea my parents make,” Bora explains when she sees Siyeon eyeing the bottles. “It’s really good even though it tastes like earth on the first try. What?” Bora laughs at the look Siyeon gives her at the comment. “I support my parents but I’ll be honest. It’s healthy. That’s what makes it popular.”  
  
Siyeon laughs. It’s a small price to pay and she tells herself she’ll need to try one before the day is up.  
  
“We should get started. There’s a lot to pack.”  
  
They get to work. It’s fairly easy though Bora is right. There _is_ a lot to pack. As she works, Siyeon watches the others.  
  
She watches the ones cooking who swap out shifts so the others can grab their own bite to eat. She watches the line of volunteers at the tables engaging in conversation and jokes as they pass out meals.  
  
She watches the workers who direct volunteers and tote supplies back and forth who are messy with dirty boots and stains on jeans and shirts. No one seems to care. No one seems to complain about the sweat or the time that eats well into the afternoon and they’re still going strong.  
  
Siyeon finds that she doesn’t care much herself. She bumps shoulders with Bora who works beside her, voice loud as she talks to a few others she must be familiar with. They laugh and slip into banter that has Siyeon howling along with them.  
  
“You’re not from here, are you?” asks one of the women helping.  
  
Siyeon shakes her head. “I live in Seongnam.”  
  
“Ah, a city kid.” The woman nods.  
  
“She doesn’t act like it,” an elder speaks up.  
  
“No, she fits right in.” The woman points over at Bora. “I would’ve thought you grew up with this one.”  
  
“Nah.” The elder cackles. “She’s not as crude.”  
  
“Crude?!” Bora balks at their comments. They laugh and Bora playfully huffs as they begin to tease her.  
  
Siyeon’s cheeks begin to ache from smiling. They really do remind her of home at the restaurant.  
  
Aside from her parents and Yoohyeon, there were others who had been there for a long time. They’d joke and talk while working in the kitchen and take breaks with each other out back on the fold-out chairs they set up to get away. Siyeon would scarf down noodles before it was time to go back while some would catch a smoke. Some evenings, she and Yoohyeon would hurry across the street and buy snacks and canned coffee, sneak kisses behind the brick wall that hid the dumpsters before returning with lopsided grins and racing hearts.  
  
The last bit strikes a chord that turns Siyeon sour for a moment. They’re fond memories but they’re tainted now. They’ve dampened. They have a certain amount of lack. The edges are starting to singe, slowly burning away into things of the past that were real but don’t seem like they really were.  
  
She doesn’t want to touch them again. She wants to grasp something new.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
Siyeon looks up to her left to find Bora looking up at her.  
  
“Are you holding up okay?”  
  
Siyeon nods. She can feel the usual ache of being on her feet for hours but it’s nothing new. She’s worked longer and harder before. It’s not that that has drawn her quiet and yanked her back inside of herself.  
  
She wonders when she’ll finally fully be set free. When the things of before won’t choke her. When she can look at them for what they are—the past—and walk by them like trinkets in the window of an antique shop.  
  
“Everyone seems to get along here,” she comments instead of telling the truth. This isn’t the place to bring her own heaviness.  
  
“A lot of the workers here saw me grow up,” Bora explains. Grabbing a roll of plastic wrap, she spreads it over a bowl of fruit and secures it neatly. “I’m sure I had about five different babysitters.”  
  
“When they say it takes a village to raise a child—”  
  
Bora elbows her in the ribs. “I wasn’t that much trouble.”  
  
“What have I told you about lying?” Mrs. Kim says as she walks over. The workers nearby snicker at the comment. Bora sighs. It’s nice to see her getting teased for a change. “Are you almost done?”  
  
“We’re prepping the last few now,” Bora lets her know.”  
  
“It’s well into lunchtime. They’ll be expecting you soon.”  
  
“We’ll go as soon as possible.”  
  
Mrs. Kim nods and calls out instructions for some of the others to help load up the food into the back of a pickup. A set of keys are handed off to them and Bora slips them into her pocket for safekeeping until they’re ready to go.  
  
They make quick work of the last meals and pull off their hairnets and gloves. The volunteers wave them off and bid them safe travels as they make their way over to the truck. There’s a flatbed attached to the back stocked with bags of rice, instant ramen, rolls of small fleece blankets, toiletries, and socks filled up in care packages along with other simple essentials that they’re to bring with the meals.  
  
“The volunteers will be waiting for you,” says Mrs. Kim through the window once they’ve climbed in. “Be careful on your way.” She taps the side of the truck and steps back as Bora pulls off and sets in the trail.  
  
There are cones placed on either side of the road directing a safe pathway to their destination. Bora takes it slow even still, music playing low as to not disrupt her concentration.  
  
A patrol officer greets them as they roll up. Bora lets them know they’re bringing in food and he radios to the others before letting them pass. Siyeon doesn’t know what to say about the area this time. It’s tragic in a way that makes her quiet.  
  
“Heartbreaking, isn’t it?”  
  
“Does this happen a lot?”  
  
Bora shakes her head. “Not as often as it used to. They’ve redone a lot of the area to help with drainage and water flow. When there’s a really heavy storm, it can be bad like this.”  
  
Bora parks them in front of a small, junior high school where residents are being held for the time being. The front doors open to volunteers who come out to meet them. Amongst them is a man in a wheelchair who pushes up a pair of Oxford-style glasses on his nose as he makes his way up to them.  
  
“You made it in one piece,” he greets.  
  
Bora’s eyes widen in surprise. “Appa?”  
  
“Do I look like some else?”  
  
Bora sucks her teeth in annoyance while Mr. Kim chuckles. “Omma didn’t tell me you would be here.”  
  
“I got here about an hour ago,” he explains as they begin to head back toward the school, following the volunteers inside. “I was up helping give direction to the cleanup nearby.” He gives a heave of distress. “It’s not good. Not good at all.”  
  
Siyeon wonders how terrible it is though she thinks she gets an idea once they make it to a cafeteria where the volunteers led them. The space is full of people, villagers lined up to claim meals while others pass through another line to accept the boxes of care package items.  
  
Volunteers give out instructions to help the process go smoothly but it’s apparent even they are tired and fussy with hunger and little sleep.  
  
“How many are they holding here?” asks Bora.  
  
“About fifty families.”  
  
Bora whistles. It’s a big number. And they can’t all be in the cafeteria at the moment. Siyeon wonders where the rest are.  
  
“Are you one of the new recruits?”  
  
It takes Siyeon a moment before she realizes she’s being spoken to. She looks down at Mr. Kim who waits expectantly for an answer, his thick eyebrows lifted over the rim of his glasses. He has a kind yet stern face, wrinkles etched in, and greys woven through this hair.  
  
“Uh—” she stammers.  
  
“This is Siyeon,” Bora comes to her rescue. “She’s a friend.”  
  
“Girlfriend?”  
  
Siyeon stiffens. Bora’s neck tightens.  
  
“She’s just visiting.”  
  
Mr. Kim scoffs. “We know what happened the last time you told us a friend was”—he lifts his fingers, mimicking quotation marks—“just visiting.”  
  
Bora’s face goes red. Siyeon thinks it’s deeper than her own flush.  
  
“I think someone is calling for you, appa.”  
  
He grins up at her knowingly. “Ah, yes, they are,” he says and wheels off, joining to help organize a line that has gotten disorganized in the chaos.  
  
“He did mean Minji when he—”  
  
“Of course he did!” Bora sputters in her fluster.  
  
It’s funny seeing her so thrown off. Siyeon covers her laugh with her hand. Even if her own stomach whirls with what Mr. Kim insinuated, she finds Bora’s uncharacteristic show of embarrassment much more amusing.  
  
“Can you focus?” Bora huffs. “We have work to do.”  
  
Siyeon nods and jumps in to help. There are fewer volunteers here in comparison to where they were and a lot of families with younger ones looking to fill their bellies.  
  
It’s disheartening but it’s also very warming, Siyeon thinks. The way everyone works together. She can tell this isn’t the first time they’ve had to do this. There’s a system everyone follows. It doesn't make the situation much better, however. She hates knowing that floods like these can happen again and again but it also makes her happy to know that people are willing to help. In any way they can.  
  
Siyeon is glad she can help. Even if it’s small scale. It makes her feel like she’s apart of something larger than herself. It expands the island further beyond the coastline and the beach house, beyond her home on the mainland and her parents and her best friend. It makes her feel...important. It makes her feel like she’s part of something and not just meandering about.  
  
“That’s everything.” Bora walks over to her where Siyeon was helping a volunteer change out the trash from one of the industrial cans. “We can go.”  
  
Siyeon bows to the volunteer who thanks her and starts off with Bora, each of them accepting the thanks they get from the residents on the way. In the craze of it all, she has acquired a baseball cap that has a fishery symbol on it. Siyeon remembers one of the residents wearing it who must’ve given it to her in appreciation.  
  
“How long will the families be here?” asks Siyeon once they make it out of the cafeteria after saying goodbye to Mr. Kim who told Siyeon to enjoy _all_ the of _assets_ the island has to offer. Bora quickly steered her away.  
  
“Until they can go back,” Bora tells her. “I’ll show you.”  
  
Taking a turn, they trail down the halls, passing classrooms with open doors. Bora stops in front of one and Siyeon peeks inside to find sleeping bags and cots spread on the floor where desks have been cleared to make an open space. Suitcases and bags of belongings sit tucked against the wall or bunched up by pillows made from whatever could be used to create something soft.  
  
“The school is the best place for now,” Bora goes on and pulls off.  
  
As they walk, Siyeon catches sight of occupants in other rooms, ages spanning from children to elderly. Some sit in silence while others talk. A few play games and others listen to music as they tap away on phones or laptops or tablets.  
  
The last place they go by is a half gymnasium where teens and college-age kids play with basketballs or sit up in the short set of bleachers, enjoying some fun and normalcy away from everything else.  
  
“It could be worse,” says Siyeon.  
  
Bora frowns. “It has been worse.”  
  
Sun hits Siyeon’s eyes as Bora pushes out of a side door. It’s late afternoon. The activity outside has thinned out though there are quite a few people still out working. Across the way, a group works to dislodge a car that’s gotten its tires stuck in the mud. Voices shout instructions as the driver continues to struggle, engine whirring and tires spinning until they make purchase and the car surges forward.  
  
Everyone claps and Siyeon and Bora do the same.  
  
“I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.” The truck door shuts with a heavy smack and Bora drops back in her seat.  
  
Siyeon feels herself slump. She hadn’t noticed how tired she was until the work was done. It creeps up on her slowly, turning her legs and arms heavy.  
  
“Is there more to do?”  
  
“They’ll probably have us deliver another round to a different location. Are you up for it?”  
  
“I’m up for it if you’re up for it.”  
  
“Alright, you sucker.” Bora reaches for the keys and cranks on the engine. “But first I think it’s time I treat you to that meal I owe you.”  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
They trade the truck for the Jeep and Bora drives them along a road that leads up to a house where they get out, trailing a stone path to the front door.  
  
“Welcome to the Kim’s humble abode,” says Bora as she lets them in with a key.  
  
It’s a small home. Quaint. The outside tells of its age while the inside gives a sense of welcome. A style that leans more traditional than modern with dark woods and warm light. It reminds Siyeon of her childhood home in Daegu before they moved north.  
  
She steps over the threshold like she’s entering a newfound kingdom, eyes wide and curious as she takes it in.  
  
It’s cozy. It has the feel of somewhere that has been lived in for a long time. It smells like a home. A place of permanence. Of stories that speak in every squeak of the floorboards, whine of the door hinges, and flicker of lights as they come on. For some reason, Siyeon feels like it’s a place she’s been before. Somewhere she could recall out of her childhood. A past with a Bora with tangled hair and squeaky laughs in her youth, both of them tossing rocks across the yard to see how far they could throw them.  
  
It oddly makes Siyeon feel like she has found...home.  
  
“I’ll warm up the food.” Bora pads off into the kitchen.  
  
Siyeon continues her curious eyeing where she’s left in a living room. It’s the simple sort. A couch and loveseat. A stand with a TV on it. A table. Things decorate walls and that’s what Siyeon examines. A tall rack in particular. Pictures sit on its glass shelves decorated with other items like figurines and statues, traditional artworks and candles and incense burners. Siyeon finds her eyes moving to the portraits and framed candids. Even two or so that Minji is apart of.  
  
One portrait, in particular, catches her attention. It’s of the entire family she’s sure. Mom, dad, Bora, and her brother. It’s an old portrait she can tell by the roundness of Bora’s youthful cheeks. Her brother looks a little older than her but not by much. It’s then that Siyeon notices that there aren’t any other pictures of her brother much older than he looks in the portrait though ones of Bora continue throughout her years of growth.  
  
“We look good, don’t we?”  
  
Siyeon smiles and nods as she glances over at Bora who has wandered over to her, two glass bottles of tea in her hands. The sound of the microwave hums in the distance. Her eyes drift back over to the picture. They’re a fine-looking family.  
  
“Your parents are really nice.” Even in the small encounters today, she felt welcomed by them.  
  
Bora sighs. “They’re a pain sometimes but I love them.”  
  
“They know about you?” asks Siyeon and then adds, “about you and Minji’s relationship,” for clarification.  
  
“To give all the details, they’ve known about who I’ve liked since I was a kid. I don’t think they really understood until I was in high school though.” She tilts her head in a second of thought. “When I started seeing Minji outside of who I was dating, that’s when we had the big conversation. Dating around wasn’t new for me but in that way…” she trails off, nose scrunching up in one corner.  
  
Siyeon thinks she understands her expression. It’s not the typical sort of thing to have. Explaining it to friends was one thing but parents? Siyeon doesn’t think she would have the guts to do it.  
  
“And they were okay with it?”  
  
“If they weren’t, they didn’t show it.” Bora shrugs. “After my breakup and I moved back home for a while, I think that’s when everything clicked for them. It was also the first time they said they saw me truly happy.”  
  
Siyeon‘s eyebrows lift.  
  
“Being with Minji opened up a lot of things between me and my family.” Bora pauses as her mouth pulls up at the corners. “For the better.”  
  
Siyeon lets her eyes draw back to the pictures. There is one more thing that she is curious about. One more person that they haven’t spoken about and Siyeon hasn’t seen.  
  
“Your brother…” she begins but doesn’t say more. She’s not sure what she wants to ask. Considering Bora hasn’t brought him up, she’s afraid to ask.  
  
“That’s him,” Bora confirms with a head tilt toward the portrait. She hands Siyeon one of the bottles she’s still holding and wipes the damp beads of condensation off her palm onto her pants. “One morning he went out in the water with his friends. When they came back, all they had was his board.”  
  
The words hit Siyeon hard and her heart sinks.  
  
“We never found him.”  
  
It’s shocking news and Siyeon’s neck swivels down to look at Bora whose attention is on the portrait.  
  
“I miss him.” She smiles a small, gentle smile. “I think he would’ve liked Minji, too. Or be jealous.” She chuckles to herself. “Definitely jealous.”  
  
It’s then that Siyeon understands what Bora mentioned before about loss—the differences in the losses she and Minji have faced. Both of family. Both a tragedy in their own regards.  
  
Siyeon feels almost selfish to even think to compare her losses to theirs. Especially since she hasn’t really lost anything yet. But one thing it does is that it assures her. That anything, big or small, like them, she can find a way to make it through. To keep going. To find good things after the fall even if it does hurt. Even if there are things to be missed. There’s a life to be had afterward and that is a comforting thought to have.  
  
She stays quiet because she isn’t sure what else to do. She has never experienced something of the sort and she has never been one to navigate such a conversation well. Bora doesn’t seem to mind her lack of words, however. She simply turns to Siyeon, teeth flashing in a wide smile, and walks away to retrieve the food.  
  
“God, I’m starving,” Bora comments as she brings everything over on trays and sits it on the table.  
  
Siyeon sinks down onto the floor, legs crossed beneath the table as Bora lays everything out. It feels good to finally sit and she’s grateful that they get to eat in a warm and dry place. After what she’s seen today, she’s grateful for everything she’s ever had.  
  
“How have you liked today so far?” asks Bora once they’re halfway through their meal, finally fueled back up enough to have any sort of conversation.  
  
Siyeon hurries to swallow the pickled radish she just popped into her mouth. “I’ve loved it.”  
  
“You can be honest.”  
  
Siyeon snorts. But really, “I’m not lying.” And it sounds so crazy to her though she means it when she tells Bora that, “I didn’t know what to expect but as soon as we arrived, it felt like I was where I should’ve been.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Siyeon hums as she thinks, leaning back on one hand while she drinks some of the tea. Bora was right to say it tastes like earth but it’s good after the first few sips. Maybe she’ll take some back home to her parents.  
  
“I do this sort of thing back at home all the time,” Siyeon explains. “The restaurant is all I’ve ever known and done and I like it but it started to feel like just a job. We’re feeding people but there hasn’t felt like much of a drive behind it. Not like it was here.”  
  
She sits back up, one elbow on the table as she pokes around a bowl of hot soup in thought.  
  
“Today I felt like I was helping someone. Like what I was doing was making a difference. Like I wasn’t just another cook in the kitchen but I was a part of something bigger. Knowing those people we delivered to aren’t going to have to worry about what they’re going to eat tonight on top of where they’re going to sleep for the night, it made me…”  
  
“Happy?”  
  
Siyeon blinks up to meet Bora’s eyes. “Yeah.”  
  
Happier than she’s been in a while being at the restaurant. Part of her wonders if any of that has to do with the tension between her and Yoohyeon but the more she thinks about it the more she realizes it started to feel that way before then.  
  
Perhaps it was the monotony. Perhaps it was the trap of the idea of being with the restaurant even after her parents. Perhaps it was the sense that she was never truly moving forward, stuck in a constant loop of the same old things while the world outside turned and the seasons changed.  
  
It could be many things. And now that she’s broken away from it and has been allowed to take on things in her own time, her own terms, broken free from the normalcy, everything about it is different. Even if they’re the same tasks that she’s done before. It’s different. _She’s_ different.  
  
“I don’t know the last time I’ve said that,” she admits. It feels weird in her mouth to say but once she does she begins to feel it through her entirety.  
  
She’s...happy. Happier.  
  
“There are a few charity groups around here,” Bora tells her. “Even a few non-profits. A lot of the volunteers and workers you saw today are from them. Some are a little dated and could use a younger perspective.”  
  
Siyeon pauses. Bora sighs.  
  
“Right. I forgot you’re only here on vacation.”  
  
They laugh but Siyeon’s is strained. She thinks back to what Minji said to her. About moving. About taking a leap. Her stomach flutters in nerves at the thought once again but what Bora said doesn’t make them churn so violently anymore.  
  
“Do you really think I’d be good for something like that?”  
  
“I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t think you had what it takes. Not everyone can be suckered into moving garbage and not curse me afterward.”  
  
“I definitely cursed you afterward.”  
  
“Regardless.” Bora narrows her eyes at her then relaxes. “From what you’ve done for me and Minji, and from watching you today, it seemed like a good fit.”  
  
Siyeon’s insides warm. She’s never been good with kind words directed her way and what Bora says settles deeper than words she’s heard before.  
  
“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”  
  
“Don’t get used to it.”  
  
Siyeon laughs softly and takes another spoon of soup. It’s cooled down a lot in their conversation but it isn’t bad. She licks her lips and reaches for the bottle where she pauses, eyebrows lifted when she catches Bora staring back at her. It reminds Siyeon of the looks Bora gave her all the day before. So much written behind her eyes that’s trapped just waiting to come out.  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
Siyeon ducks her eyes. “Shouldn’t I be thanking you?”  
  
“Will you be quiet so I can be sentimental for five minutes?”  
  
Siyeon drags her fingers across her mouth as if she’s sealing her lips.  
  
“I swear,” Bora mutters, shaking her head with a smile before it slips off. When she speaks again, her voice is softer and her gaze doesn’t meet Siyeon’s as she lets the words go. “I wanted to thank you for helping out today but also for spending time with us. Minji and I aren’t in a bad place but since you’ve come, things have been a lot warmer.”  
  
Oh.  
  
Siyeon sits up, her spoon finding a place on the tray as she gives Bora all of her attention. They’re unexpected words and they wash over her in fuzzy warmth, fluttering in her chest and helping to cement the damp ground beneath her feet that has slowly been hardening since she’s come to the island.  
  
“Minji mentioned that you came here to get away from home,” Bora goes on, “so it’s nice to hear that, even if I keep working you to the bone, you’ve found some form of happiness here. With us. Even if it’s only for a few months.”  
  
Bora’s eyes finally find hers. Siyeon stills though her insides are storming.  
  
“I don’t know what to say,” she squeaks out.  
  
“You don’t have to say anything. Just accept it and finish your food so we can go before I vomit from how sappy this is.”  
  
Siyeon laughs. She gets it. The moment is softer than she ever thought a moment would be between them but she appreciates it. She appreciates Bora. And Minji. She appreciates so much. It warms her from the inside out.  
  
“Can I just say—”  
  
“Eat.”  
  
Shutting up, she takes up her spoon and puts it into her mouth.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
The day has burned up by the time they make it back, the sun gone off the horizon and stars slowly making their presence in the highest parts of the sky now dark navy with the night.  
  
Siyeon trails in after Bora, discarding dirty shoes outside on the porch before they enter. It smells like food inside. It hits Siyeon’s nose and travels right down to her stomach that gives a violent churn. She’s hungry but she’s also tired. Her muscles ache and her legs are worn out.  
  
“There’s my girls,” Minji greets like sunshine. “Do you want to clean up? I’ll have everything ready when you’re done.”  
  
“Thank you, I love you.” Bora gives her a kiss before she continues on through the house and into the hall. “Where are you going?”  
  
Siyeon points toward the guest bathroom with her thumb. “Shower?”  
  
Bora motions for her to follow with the tilt of her head. Siyeon hesitates before she changes course and enters the master bedroom where Bora pulls off her shirt and tosses it into a bin against the wall right as she breaches the threshold.  
  
“You scrub my back, I scrub yours.” Bora peers over her shoulder.  
  
“Really?”  
  
“It’s just a shower, you prude.”  
  
The light to the en-suite flicks on. Siyeon’s heart begins to pound.  
  
It’s a pretty bathroom. Creams and browns with pops of pink and purples that color code toiletries. Except Siyeon isn’t paying attention to the details. She’s hyper-aware of the other body in the room that goes to switch on the water before undoing pants that pull off.  
  
Bora eyes her. “Don't just stand there.”  
  
“What else am I supposed to do when I’m given a striptease?”  
  
A bra smacks her in the face. When Siyeon opens her eyes back up, she’s met with a stretch of creamy skin that turns her speechless.  
  
The shock of seeing Bora naked hits her abruptly. She’s small but balanced in proportions, simply toned in some places and thick muscular in others. There’s silver jewelry decorating her bellybutton, a dangling feather that glints as it shivers with movements. It’s not a detail that Siyeon cares about but she notes it anyway, the way a strip of hair leads the eye between fine thighs where Minji is smooth. Suddenly Siyeon thinks about trailing her finger along the line and landing on the treasure that waits at the end.  
  
“You’re staring.”  
  
Siyeon colors. It’s impossible not to. Bora is attractive. In many ways.  
  
“Join or not. It’s your choice.”  
  
Bora pulls back the frosted shower door and steps into the steam that has begun to rise leaving Siyeon to stand dumbfounded on the bathroom rug.  
  
And she doesn’t even know why.  
  
She collects herself and discards her clothes after a few seconds and slides the door open in time to see Bora lathering soap along her skin.  
  
“Looks like someone put on her big girl pants.”  
  
Bora turns to look at her and Siyeon could call her out for staring the way she had though Bora is quick to assess. Her eyes zip and her eyebrows flick upward as she bites her lip. The look registers like the first flickers of a lighter and settles low in Siyeon’s belly.  
  
“Nothing I want to say right now is family-friendly,” says Bora.  
  
“Thank you for censoring yourself.”  
  
Bora holds out the soft, pale blue loofah in her hand. Siyeon takes it. A back angles to her and Siyeon bites back her nerves to press the scrub to the skin that presents itself to her.  
  
She’s quiet as she washes Bora’s back, letting the sound of the running water fill up the silence between them. She’s glad that Bora isn’t facing her. If only because she can’t be teased for how stiff she’s being as she dips low on Bora’s back. Siyeon feels her twitch just the slightest when she drifts a little lower, grazing the thick of her backside before soaring up along the bow of her spine.  
  
It’s then that Bora turns so that the shower stream can rinse away the soap. Hand held out, Bora takes the loofah away and begins on her front. Siyeon isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do.  
  
“There’s shampoo over there,” Bora points out to a spot on the other side of the shower.  
  
Siyeon grabs the bottle from the rack behind her and squirts some into her hands. It’s cold in her palm and smells of green tea and mint. Lathering it into her hair, Siyeon finds they fall into a process. As Bora scrubs, Siyeon rinses out her hair and then they trade positions for Bora to take the shampoo while Siyeon soaps herself up.  
  
“Is this the norm?” asks Siyeon as she lets water run down her neck and her chest. She’s not as tense anymore but she can’t help but feel that there are eyes watching her from behind. “Showering together.”  
  
“No, I just wanted an excuse to see you naked.”  
  
Siyeon whips around.  
  
Bora laughs. “I’m joking.” She steps forward and Siyeon moves for her to stand beneath the stream, talking as she rinses out her hair. “Sometimes it’s nice to do together.”  
  
Siyeon doesn’t agree or disagree with that.  
  
“Think of it as a bonding exercise.”  
  
“Spending almost forty-eight hours together wasn’t enough bonding?”  
  
“What can I say?” Bora opens her eyes after wiping water from her face. “I’m greedy.”  
  
Siyeon rolls her eyes.  
  
“Turn around.”  
  
Siyeon does.  
  
Even though she knows it’s coming, Siyeon still gasps when a soapy scrub touches her back, smoothing over her shoulders. Bora is gentle with it. Attentive to every spot. It feels nice but Siyeon has a hard time thinking about that. She’s caught up in the nerves created by the newness of it all again and she wonders how these two can be so open and unashamed with what they do.  
  
“Are you that sensitive or are you nervous?” asks Bora when she begins to rinse away the soap.  
  
“Both?”  
  
“It’s just a shower, Siyeon.”  
  
“With you, I find that hard to believe.”  
  
“I don’t think I have the energy for that.”  
  
Another lather of soap is worked over her back, slower and softer this time. Bora’s movements lead down to the sensitive dip at the small of Siyeon’s back that sends a sudden chill through her. She thinks nothing of the strokes until she feels fingers graze after the fibers of the loofah. This time Siyeon shudders when she feels the blunt tips of nails graze down her spine.  
  
“Bora.”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
Her hand dips further down, stopping at the soft backside of her thighs and Siyeon bites her lip with a sharp inhale.  
  
“Yes, Siyeon?” Bora leans in, voice clear through the waterfall and close enough to feel the stickiness of her breath. “Did you say something?”  
  
Siyeon shivers again as Bora’s hand lightly trails back up, grazing over all the sensitive areas that burst goosebumps across her skin.  
  
“You—”  
  
Lips touch the back of her shoulders, cutting her short.  
  
“Me?” Bora plays back.  
  
Siyeon forces out a laugh to replace the other sound that almost breaks from her throat. “I thought you didn’t have the energy.”  
  
“I don’t but…” Bora’s nose traces across her shoulder and stops at her neck, tongue rolling against the spot before teeth gently bite. Siyeon lets out a sigh. Bora hums. “Are you complaining?”  
  
Siyeon turns around. Bora doesn’t make a move to step away putting them only droplets apart. No one speaks. It’s like they're at a stand-off, waiting for the other to act, testing the other’s will, wondering if either will let tiredness rule or give in to the tension that is as hot as the water that pours on them.  
  
Bora’s chin tilts up the slightest. It’s coy in every sense of the word but it does what she’s sure Bora wants it to do. It draws Siyeon’s gaze down to her mouth—a pink stripe across white.  
  
There's a shark waiting behind that mouth that Siyeon has come to learn about. The same way she learned that Bora is a master of the long game far different from Minji which surprises her. She would expect Bora to dive in and take but she doesn’t. She waits. She gives away her control.  
  
A tongue swipes out, dragging along the lips that still hold Siyeon’s attention, begging for something to be done. Siyeon’s pulse beats hard. She feels as if the sound of her heart fills up the shower, pounding louder than the water rushing over them.  
  
“Hm, _pup?”_ Bora teases, voice deep and sultry.  
  
Siyeon simmers.  
  
It’s been a long time since she’s been handed the reins. It excites her. She doesn’t want to hesitate. Not anymore. So she doesn’t.  
  
She answers the question. “I’m not.”  
  
Siyeon takes Bora’s lips with hers fast and full. And it’s like a switch. Bora counters back with just as much intensity, pressing up into the embrace in fiery desperation that makes Siyeon’s insides bubbly.  
  
She feels a push but she pushes back. Air puffs from Bora’s mouth as her back hits the tiled wall and they pull apart for a moment for Siyeon to catch the look in her eyes. They’re big and wide. Pupils wide. Bora’s mouth hangs open with wanting lips gone red and plump for taking.  
  
Siyeon howls on the inside. She takes those lips back.  
  
Her body presses flush to Bora’a smaller one. It’s different than it was the other night. Siyeon can feel every bit of her. Every ounce of heat. Every curve that melds into her.  
  
Hands grab her hips and pull her in, grinding them together. Siyeon whines into the mouth full of teeth and tongue, biting back on a lip hard enough to make Bora squeak.  
  
“Animal.” Bora chuckles. It cuts off with the slap of her lip against her teeth when Siyeon lets go and her eyes flash.  
  
Bora bucks her hips and Siyeon answers back, rutting up against her with the smallest bit of friction that gets her burning. It turns her needy and wanting and she tries for more, rolling them together over and over to quench the flames that are now full ablaze from the tiny flicker they were moments ago.  
  
 _“Siyeon,”_ Bora groans, pulling back to press their foreheads together. Her mouth holds parted open, full of panting breaths that mingle with Siyeon’s own, adding to the steam that feels as if it’s rising off their skin as well. “Siyeon,” she repeats more forcefully and presses her hips forward, sending a message.  
  
Siyeon knows what she wants. She can read it off of her. She could taste it in her lips. She can feel it in the way Bora seems to be vibrating the same way Siyeon is shaking in excited nerves.  
  
Another second passes and Bora’s brow furrows. Her lip pouts. “Pl _ease,”_ she _begs._  
  
And Siyeon can’t deny her at all.  
  
She holds Bora’s eyes as she trails her hand downward. Legs spread apart without the need for instruction and Siyeon finds hot, hot warmth against her fingertips.  
  
Bora whimpers at the first touch. Siyeon gasps at it. It’s not the first time she’s been with someone but it’s the first time in a long time she’s been given all of the control.  
  
Bora cants her hips and Siyeon brings herself back to now. She rolls her with her fingers, pressing up into a swell that draws sounds from Bora’s throat that turns Siyeon’s blood into liquid fire.  
  
“More,” Bora breathes.  
  
Siyeon fills her and Bora’s voice echoes off the tiles.  
  
She loops an arm around Bora’s neck, holding her tight to be able to fill her deeper. Her fingers splay along the back of Bora’s neck and thread up into hair. On a moan, her hand tightens with a pull and Bora chokes on a whine.  
  
“Sorry—”  
  
“No.” Bora licks her lips. Her jaw flexes. Something passes across her face in the seconds that tick as if she’s debating whether or not to actually tell Siyeon, “harder.”  
  
It’s not a request she has ever gotten before. But she obeys.  
  
She takes Bora’s hair back into her hand and she holds. Tight. The strands pull and Bora’s neck strains backward at the tug, pushing her throat against Siyeon’s mouth that opens to suck along the column.  
  
Through the water and her pulse, she hears Bora’s moans. She hears her whimper. She hears her muttering things that don’t stick but Siyeon feels them in her gut. Molten. She feels them and they fuel her. They take her fingers as deep as knuckles. Turn her sucks into bites. Strengthen the pull on the hair wrapped around her hand until—  
  
 _“Fu—”_  
  
Bora shivers. She trembles. It reminds Siyeon of the night she was cuffed with arms looped around her but it’s different.  
  
She ripples as she curses in chants, chasing the high with hips that dance on Siyeon’s fingers until she’s completely wiped out.  
  
“Holy…”  
  
Siyeon loosens her hold and releases her hair.  
  
Bora sags against the wall and Siyeon catches her around the waist. Arms are like weights that fold over Siyeon’s shoulders and cross behind her neck to hold her steady.  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
She feels Bora nod.  
  
“I need a minute.”  
  
Siyeon waits, listening to Bora’s pants even out to steady breaths and the slam of her heart against Siyeon’s chest slow back down.  
  
“My god.” Bora’s head pulls back to lean against the tile. The corner of her mouth pulls upward. “I didn’t know you had that in you, loner.”  
  
“Maybe Minji isn’t the only one you corrupted.”  
  
“You didn’t learn that from me.”  
  
Siyeon’s chest flutters as the wolf in her stretches its neck in pride.  
  
“We should get out,” says Bora. “Unless you’d like me to…”  
  
It’s not until then that Siyeon notices that the water has gone cold. Or that she is now completely spent. She doesn’t want anything in return. She got everything she wanted for the moment. Satisfyingly so.  
  
Siyeon shakes her head. “Do I need to carry you out?”  
  
Bora rolls her eyes and pushes her away.  
  
Siyeon laughs, following her out.  
  
-/-/-/-  
  
There’s food waiting for them when they make it to the kitchen, left out in coverings by Minji who has retired to the living room where the TV plays something she’s watching. Siyeon takes to the table after Bora pours them coke into cups and starts to eat.  
  
The food is good. It does a bit to curb some of the tiredness but doesn’t whisk away the exhaustion that is finally starting to fully set in after the day's work and the shower. It was a long day. A good day but a long one.  
  
Siyeon looks across the table to Bora who eats quietly and slowly. She looks far more worn out than Siyeon feels. She doesn’t doubt it. Siyeon doesn't know many others who work as hard as Bora does. She puts her all into everything which must be wearing even for the most energetic of types.  
  
“I can clean up,” Siyeon offers when they’re done. “I don’t mind,” she adds when she sees Bora about to protest.  
  
“Make sure you scrub thoroughly,” Bora tells her.  
  
Siyeon gets up to collect the dishes, smiling when Bora gives her a light butt tap before she leaves the kitchen.  
  
As she cleans, she hears Minji and Bora’s voices from the living room, muffled against the sound of the TV. Siyeon joins them soon after, finding Bora tucked against Minji’s side.  
  
“All full?” asks Minji, looking up when she senses a new presence.  
  
Siyeon nods.  
  
Minji gestures to the empty space on the couch with the tilt of a chin and Siyeon sinks into the space. The channel is turned to a popular show. Siyeon knows it mainly because of Yoohyeon and for the first time in a while Siyeon genuinely wonders what her best friend is up to. She wonders how she is. She wonders what she’s been thinking and what led her to text.  
  
A loud yawn sounds as the show gives into a commercial break. Bora shifts her position to lay down, head cradled in Minji’s lap and feet folded against Siyeon’s thighs. She fits neatly in the space between them. Cozy. Comfortable. So natural it makes the moment feel like it’s something they’ve always done.  
  
“Do you—” Minji begins once the episode ends and stops when she glances down to find Bora’s eyes closed.  
  
She’s asleep, breathing a little louder and full in her slumber. She looks so small there.  
  
“She must be so worn out. You, too.” Minji looks across the couch.  
  
Siyeon shrugs and stifles yawns. “A little.” It’s a wonder she hasn’t knocked out the way Bora has.  
  
“Did you two have fun together?” The way Minji’s eyebrows wiggle makes Siyeon hide her face in a hand. Of course, Minji heard them.  
  
“Not you teasing me too.” Though it doesn’t make Siyeon as flustered and embarrassed as it used to. She doesn’t feel as weird about this situation. She’s slowly starting to settle into it. Into these two.  
  
Minji gives a small laugh. “Okay, I’ll spare you from giving the details. Was there a lot to do?” she goes on to ask.  
  
Siyeon nods. She doesn’t have another experience like it to compare but what they did was a load she has never taken on before.  
  
“I got to meet her family,” Siyeon tells her after explaining everything they did. “I can see where she gets it from.”  
  
“They’re all a little extreme but they’re kind. They’re more family to me than the one I lost.” Minji looks down, running fingers absentmindedly through the thick of Bora’s deep, chestnut hair. “They gave me a place to belong.”  
  
 _A place to belong._ Siyeon hangs on those words in particular as she listens to Minji continue, her voice soft as the lamplight that glows over them.  
  
“It was one thing for Bora to accept me. It was surreal when she wanted me to meet her family and they made jokes about making sure they wore their earplugs to bed while I was over.”  
  
Siyeon cracks into laughter. She can’t imagine.  
  
“Maybe what I found is unique but I’m grateful. I no longer have to hide anything about myself. Not even my wild side.” Minji winks.  
  
A long moment passes. Minji looks out across the room, her eyes moving as if she’s watching memories flutter by.  
  
“Some people just make you feel like you can be whole.” She sniffles. It takes a moment for Siyeon to realize Minji is blinking back tears. “Sorry.” She smiles through the tears that escape and quickly wipes them away with her fingers. “It’s nights like this when she’s all worn out and I get to hold her that makes me realize how lucky I am. I’d be a mess without her.”  
  
Siyeon’s heart squeezes. It’s so pure. So warm. So loving and perfect. She has rarely come across something like what Minji and Bora have. And there’s only one thing she can recall where she’s felt anywhere close to it.  
  
“That’s how I used to feel with Yoohyeon.”  
  
Minji hums and nods to let Siyeon know that she’s listening.  
  
“I don’t know when that started to change.”  
  
But maybe Siyeon does though she never took the time to examine it. She remembers many vacations away to Jeju and how she’d come back and feel a tiny shift between them. Perhaps the largest one was the summer she met Handong. Inside, Siyeon felt herself awaken but being back home forced her to go back to sleep. But it was a false sleep. She was worried. Afraid to open her eyes and let Yoohyeon see the creature she was becoming. Or rather the creature she always was but had slowly discovered.  
  
“I don’t think Yoohyeon hates you. I think she was scared of you,” says Minji. “When we go so long being one way and suddenly discover that we’re more than that, the people around us sometimes don’t know how to handle it. Sometimes we don’t know how to handle ourselves. Unfortunately, sometimes that means we may lose people.”  
  
“I was afraid you’d say that.”  
  
“It’s natural.” Minji gives her a soft smile, head leaning on the couch. “Growing up and growing apart is how life is. You can still love each other. Sometimes you just love each other from a little further apart.”  
  
 _A little further apart._ Siyeon muses on that for a moment. She thinks back to the scary thought she had that one morning. About losing Yoohyeon altogether. Maybe their dissonance doesn’t only have to do with what happened. Maybe it’s who they were growing into while growing out of each other.  
  
It still hurts to think about. Imagining her life away from Yoohyeon is like entering a foreign land where she doesn't know the language, trying to navigate through it. But then Siyeon reminds herself that coming to Jeju was much like that. And she found her way. The words make sense to her now. The letters aren’t so jumbled. She isn’t as afraid and so maybe…  
  
A yawn ripples through her long and hard.  
  
“I think it’s time for bed for the pup.”  
  
Siyeon blushes at the pet name. She likes it.  
  
“Baby?”  
  
Siyeon watches as Minji coos at Bora until she’s awake. Her eyes are heavy. It takes a few more stirs before she finally draws enough wakefulness to get up. Minji rises with her, fingers threading together.  
  
“Do you want to sleep with us tonight?” asks Minji over her shoulder. Behind her, Bora presses her face into her back, nuzzling into the space between her shoulder blades.  
  
Siyeon shakes her head. “You two go ahead.”  
  
Minji goes, pausing to lean over the back of the couch to bid Siyeon a goodnight with a kiss to her hair. Footsteps pad and fade away behind the shut of a door and Siyeon sprawls out on the couch, eyes drawn up to the ceiling.  
  
This house is different. Different from the ones she has grown up in. Different from the popcorn ceiling of her best friend's place that she has seen so often she could tell how many bits stick out. Different from the worlds she once knew.  
  
“A place to belong,” she says aloud.  
  
This place...it’s different but it clicks. It welcomes. It traps in warmth. It romances her, whispers to her, comforts her in ways she has only found in the hugs of her parents or the familiar bump of her best friend’s shoulder.  
  
It envelops her in safety amidst the new winds that blow in, rocking the ship that she is, jostling the cargo, and tossing the baggage overboard to usher in new things. To make way for treasures newly discovered.  
  
Siyeon closes her eyes and the storms begin to settle. The sun breaks through the clouds and a new day dawns. Land is seen in the distance and she sets her course for it.  
  
She sets her course. Soon, she thinks, she’ll finally be home.


End file.
